Mental health/Addiction

keco52

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Jun 22, 2004
6,215
882
113
My brother lost his ongoing battle with mental illness/drug abuse/addiction. He was 26.

He was a tortured soul for a very long time and I wanted nothing more than to save him from himself.

Recently I had distanced myself from him in an attempt to minimize my own pain from his self destruction but in the end that hasn’t eased my sorrow at all...it has complicated and magnified it. My heart is broken.

I vow to do more to bring awareness and to better support those struggling with mental illness/drug abuse/addiction.

Please know there is power and peace in receiving help.
 
Fuck I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry to hear that. I lost a close friend earlier this year similar circumstances but he was much older. I had done a similar thing by distancing myself from him. I've been tied up with feelings of guilt etc and ended up turning back to prescription drugs to ease it but it didn't lt only numbed the pain for a bit. I'm sorry for your loss. If there is anything we can do let us know. Talking about it helps but is hard to do.
 
  • Like
Reactions: keco52
Fuck I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry to hear that. I lost a close friend earlier this year similar circumstances but he was much older. I had done a similar thing by distancing myself from him. I've been tied up with feelings of guilt etc and ended up turning back to prescription drugs to ease it but it didn't lt only numbed the pain for a bit. I'm sorry for your loss. If there is anything we can do let us know. Talking about it helps but is hard to do.

It is hard to talk about and I know it’s just as hard to know what to say in response so I appreciate it.
 
got a cousin who's 26 and a heroin addict. tried reaching out to help him couple of times but he aint want any help from me. straight up told my uncle he loves doing it that shit. he distanced himself from me and my brother when i was 13. imma keep that distance. he was a little mischievous kid who grew up to be a complete piece of shit. i got no sympathy for him, cuz he's putting his parents and uncle through hell.


sorry for your loss though.
 
  • Like
Reactions: keco52
I'm very sorry for your loss. You'll hear that a lot, and you'll find it doesn't really help. Time does dull the pain, but it's not much in the way of a cure. Doing what you're doing is good. I applaud you for sharing and talking about it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: keco52
Sorry for your loss keco.

Geeeez adulting sucks. We never had to deal with these things when we first started posting. *sigh*

Let us know if there is anything we can do.
 
  • Like
Reactions: keco52
There is something that's been bugging me for a couple weeks and I might as well talk about it here, keco inspired me.

My dad is an over the road truck driver. He drives all over the place but when he goes to California he usually takes a day or two off to visit our family.

My dad has an on/off drug addiction dating back some 30 years from when he used his truck driving to smuggle drugs across the border for the hell's angel's/cartel.

My brother called me a while back saying my dad stopped by my grandpas house in California and used his car to go get some food while he was staying there but he never came back that night. He wasn't answering his phone and no one knew where he was. He basically disappeared for two days. My brother had a hunch he was at an old drug house he knew of and sure enough he was. So my grandpa and brother go get the car and are basically like wtf to my dad.

I didn't know this happened for a couple weeks. My brother and father have a rocky relationship which stems from my father having him when he was 16, while he didn't abandon him he wasn't necessarily a parent cus he was 16, so my grandparents raised him. Also, my brothers mom was murdered when he was very young, I don't remember the age, so when anything happens with my dad he kind of buries it and ignores it or something because of his lack of parents and animosity he still holds on to. Pretty much this is why he didn't tell me at the time of the first incident.

Fast forward a couple more weeks and he does the same thing again. My brother now calls me asking about his habits back home asked me if I knew he was using etc.

I had no idea, he is good at hiding it I guess, he always seems tired but I figure he just wants to relax when he comes home. Looking back and even now the signs are obvious but it's not something I thought of, I figured he was past that considering he had a heart attack 2 years ago and now has a couple stents in his heart. Old habits die hard as they say.

I've never once talked to him about this, not the drug smuggling, not his use, not me getting in trouble for selling drugs, nothing. We don't have problems communicating with each other at all but it's something we don't bring up, or I even think about really, until now.

I've dealt with plenty of death and overdoses in my life but for whatever reason and the circumstances I'm going through now I fear for my fathers life. He is 57 with a drug addiction, that can't be good at that age.

I need to talk to him about this but I feel like I'd be lecturing my father which I feel isn't something that's normal, but it has to happen. I just have no idea how to go about this. I know I need to just say it but it's not easy for me. Just typing this has helped to be honest but still. I'll muster up the courage eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later. Thanks for listening.

Don't mean to hijack this keco, just venting cus it helps
 
got a cousin who's 26 and a heroin addict. tried reaching out to help him couple of times but he aint want any help from me. straight up told my uncle he loves doing it that shit. he distanced himself from me and my brother when i was 13. imma keep that distance. he was a little mischievous kid who grew up to be a complete piece of shit. i got no sympathy for him, cuz he's putting his parents and uncle through hell.


sorry for your loss though.

No judgements. Thst is the honest reality of addiction in families.
 
  • Like
Reactions: yak pac fatal
I'm very sorry for your loss. You'll hear that a lot, and you'll find it doesn't really help. Time does dull the pain, but it's not much in the way of a cure. Doing what you're doing is good. I applaud you for sharing and talking about it.

Thank you.

For the past 2 nights I wake up around the exact same time I got the call that he was gone. I know there’s a long road ahead.
 
There is something that's been bugging me for a couple weeks and I might as well talk about it here, keco inspired me.

My dad is an over the road truck driver. He drives all over the place but when he goes to California he usually takes a day or two off to visit our family.

My dad has an on/off drug addiction dating back some 30 years from when he used his truck driving to smuggle drugs across the border for the hell's angel's/cartel.

My brother called me a while back saying my dad stopped by my grandpas house in California and used his car to go get some food while he was staying there but he never came back that night. He wasn't answering his phone and no one knew where he was. He basically disappeared for two days. My brother had a hunch he was at an old drug house he knew of and sure enough he was. So my grandpa and brother go get the car and are basically like wtf to my dad.

I didn't know this happened for a couple weeks. My brother and father have a rocky relationship which stems from my father having him when he was 16, while he didn't abandon him he wasn't necessarily a parent cus he was 16, so my grandparents raised him. Also, my brothers mom was murdered when he was very young, I don't remember the age, so when anything happens with my dad he kind of buries it and ignores it or something because of his lack of parents and animosity he still holds on to. Pretty much this is why he didn't tell me at the time of the first incident.

Fast forward a couple more weeks and he does the same thing again. My brother now calls me asking about his habits back home asked me if I knew he was using etc.

I had no idea, he is good at hiding it I guess, he always seems tired but I figure he just wants to relax when he comes home. Looking back and even now the signs are obvious but it's not something I thought of, I figured he was past that considering he had a heart attack 2 years ago and now has a couple stents in his heart. Old habits die hard as they say.

I've never once talked to him about this, not the drug smuggling, not his use, not me getting in trouble for selling drugs, nothing. We don't have problems communicating with each other at all but it's something we don't bring up, or I even think about really, until now.

I've dealt with plenty of death and overdoses in my life but for whatever reason and the circumstances I'm going through now I fear for my fathers life. He is 57 with a drug addiction, that can't be good at that age.

I need to talk to him about this but I feel like I'd be lecturing my father which I feel isn't something that's normal, but it has to happen. I just have no idea how to go about this. I know I need to just say it but it's not easy for me. Just typing this has helped to be honest but still. I'll muster up the courage eventually, hopefully sooner rather than later. Thanks for listening.

Don't mean to hijack this keco, just venting cus it helps

You didn’t hijack. That’s what I was hoping to inspire. My brother was our family’s dirty little secret. Nothing will change if we don’t break the stigma and stop treating addiction as a taboo subject. We need to shine a light on it and face the truth.
 
Tricky situation @ARon -- one thing I have learned over the years is that you can't help people that don't want to help themselves. Might have to just chalk it up on the Losses side of the table; as hard and terrible as that is. He might come around and be ready for/want help.
 
  • Like
Reactions: keco52
I’m so sorry to hear.

There is really nothing that can be said to make things to make it better...

Thank you carmi.

There’s really not unfortunately but I appreciate the thoughts. Talking helps me process the grief.
 
Tricky situation @ARon -- one thing I have learned over the years is that you can't help people that don't want to help themselves. Might have to just chalk it up on the Losses side of the table; as hard and terrible as that is. He might come around and be ready for/want help.

Very true. My brother had been to rehab several different times. He never wanted to change.

My brother wasn’t what you would call a “junkie” either. He wasn’t dependent. He wasn’t stealing to get high. He maintained a job most of the time and when he didn’t it was because of his general attitude and not his drug abuse.

Anyway, being an occasional user instead of a dependent user is probably exactly why he’s gone.
 
I am so sorry Keco, sending you lots of love and hugs

I had a best friend who had severe mental health issues and she was also a tortured soul and she took her own life, i had so much going on with my illness and all the meds I was on I was numb and didn't grieve for 2 years

I actually had 18 months of counciling

Here if you ever need to vent

That goes for anyone

Like @ Rukus says adulting sucks
 
  • Like
Reactions: keco52
Tricky situation @ARon -- one thing I have learned over the years is that you can't help people that don't want to help themselves. Might have to just chalk it up on the Losses side of the table; as hard and terrible as that is. He might come around and be ready for/want help.
I know he needs to want to quit and all that but I just feel like I've been sitting idle for too long now. I'm ready to take the loss but I'm now trying convince myself I have to at least try
 
How you doing @keco52?

I’m doing okay. I’m back to work this week and everyone at my job has been super supportive but it’s very emotionally taxing and sometimes I wish people would just ignore me.

My brother and I have started a non-profit organization and we’ve raised a little over $7,000 so far. It’s helped ease some of the grief knowing something good will come out of my brothers passing.

Other than that, I’m kind of on autopilot. Right before this happened I felt like things were getting better and I breathed a sigh of relief and now I’m terrified to ever do that again.

How are you Ruk?
 

Latest posts

Donate

Back in the day, we used to recieve donations sent as cash in fake birthday cards! Those were the days! I still have some of them, actually.

Now we have crypto.

Ethereum/EVM: 0x9c70214f34ea949095308dca827380295b201e80

Bitcoin: bc1qa5twnqsqm8jxrcxm2z9w6gts7syha8gasqacww

Solana: 8xePHrFwsduS7xU4XNjp2FRArTD7RFzmCQsjBaetE2y8

Members online

No members online now.