Film & TV Funniest Family Guy moments?

[Butt Rubber]

Brian: Hey, I noticed you got a new receptionest. Nice little body on her, huh?
Psychiatist: Thats my daughter
Brian: umm i think we can probably call this an early day

Quagmire: Thanks Meg, you just baught me another three seconds

Quagmire: Hey, whats going on fellas? I was just jerking....in and out of a sound sleep

 

[KDeezy]

there are too many of these moments in Family Guy.

This is from the new episodes ......... when peter goes blind and ends up in chris' room and thinks its lois and starts groping and finally realizes its chris when he gets to the goods.

 

[Butt Rubber]

i noticed some of the photos are dead, oh well, heres some more:

Quagmire: Hey, have you ladies ever been pennitrated?

*Quagmire gets thrown out of bar*

 

[Tito]

Some random hispanic kid, "Hi, my name is Carlos. Inside of me is a lost little boy. And inside of that there is a rapist"

lmao

 

[Butt Rubber]

 

[Butt Rubber]

Quagmire asks Louis if she wants to wear a jacket

 

[DPG iz all I C]

There are too many to mention.

 

[Devious]

When Quagmire walks into the bathroom and finds that cheerleader tied up and gagged: Jackpot!

And when Peter and Brian are in the bar talking about Brian being in love with lois, Peter: Oh my god, you can talk!

 

[Salar]

Playing pictionary
Mr Stevenson: "A Jackal, a jackal it looks like a jackal, is it a jackal, Jackal Jackal"
someone else: Time
Stewie: It wasn't right the first time you said it, why the hell would it be right the next 10 times? GOD!

And in the latest episode
Hiroshima Japan August 6 1945
"god a parking ticket i was gone 5 minutes"
car goes by and the japanese guy gets mud all over him
"ooh, how can this day get any worse"
You hear a whistling sound (like a bomb dropping), the jap guy looks up and says
"oh my god"
a monkey falls on him and starts scratching and biting him

The latest episode was just brilliant

 

[Little Skittle]

lois: peter you're acting like a child!

peter: well if i'm a child, than you're a pedophile, and i'll be damned if i sit here and get lectured by a pervert!

*exit peter*

 

[AmerikazMost]

idon't really watch it, but i scarcely remember something about the baby and pancakes

 

[Rosco]

*Stewie throws food at Peter*
Stewie: You, you are the worst thing to happen to musical theatre since Andrew Lloyd Webber!
*Stewie throws food at Lois*
Stewie: And you, I just plain don't like you.

 

[DPG iz all I C]

When Stewie pimped his tricycle

 

[alow]

(Stewie and Brian looking for getaway car)
Brian: look, the keys are in this one!
Stewie: an SUV? (sighs) were trying to evade someone, were not driving to soccer practice . how about this one?
Brian: do you really like that color?
Stewie: well i-
Brian: (interupting) because i- sorry, what did you say?
Stewie: it doesnt show dirt

(peter talking to salesman selling volcano insurance)
Salesman: c'mon, it never rains in Rhode Island
Peter: well....im pretty sure weve never had a volcano either
Salesman: ...........well......dont you think were due for one?
Peter:...........touche salesman

 

[Saint33]

And when Peter and Brian are in the bar talking about Brian being in love with lois, Peter: Oh my god, you can talk!

Ther are jus soo frickin many of them its soo hard to say, but ya this ones definately up ther

Or...

Pool boy: Ummm sir, you can't park your van on the diving board.
Peter: That's not my van, it's my son.
Pool boy: O jeez I'm sry. Hey Stan, its not a van, its jus a FAT kid.
Peter: Dont listen to him Chris, i'll go get you a soda.
Peter starts to walk away, but stops and puts a steering wheel lock on Chris

 

[DJ Harris]

lol stewie rocks, when he slaps louis for blaming him for peeing on the rug!

 

[Butt Rubber]

Stewie: Were playing house
Louis: That boys all tied up
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house

 

[Devious]

(After God sets that girl on fire in the bar)
God: Jesus Christ!
Jesus: Yeah?
God: Get the Escalade!

 

[MATW95]

Meg: Chris what's it like to have Brian as your teacher?
Chris: IT SUCKS! Mr. Griffin gave me an F
Peter: An F Brian? After all Chris has done for you?
*cuts to scene with Chris pulling mint-flavored dental floss out of Brian's ass*
Peter: Hey Chris, you know what we did when we got a bad grade in high school?
Chris: What?
Peter: We'd egg the teachers house! C'mon, where's this bastard live?
Chris: I'll show ya!
*Peter and Chris run out of house with eggs in hand and stop on sidewalk facing the Griffin residence*
Chris: This is the place!
*Eggs are thrown at the front door and Brian opens up*
Brian: What the hell are you guys doing?
Peter: Is that him?
Chris: Yeah
Peter: RUN!

 

[Butt Rubber]

Lois: I guarantee you a man made that commercial.
Peter: Of course a man made it. It's a commercial Lois, not a delicious thanksgiving dinner.