my sister's husband sends a pic via mass text. I respond. I get a response from some unknown dude who happens to be Jeff. Since when do texts function like e-mails? I checked my message details and it was only sent to my sister's husband. but this jeff faggot replied to the original text "reply to all" style? what the fuck.
This is my thread
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That's good, man. I find it works better if I don't trumpet it, e.g. I don't put myself in a situation where I'm at a bar or whatever and I'm drinking Coke Zero all night. That encourages people to be obnoxious: have a beer you faggot, etc.
But of course you don't want to isolate yourself either. It's a delicate balance. I find myself sending cheerful texts to my friends who drink (ahem, all of them) and just kind of making excuses when they ask me to go out. They're starting to get the idea.
When my daughter has a hold of something she can't have (plastic bag, iPod, whatever) and she seems to be really enjoying it, I have to give her something else before I take away the offending item, otherwise she will go apeshit and bang her big Irish head against the floor. We need diversions like that too. For me it's been movies (SERIOUSLY HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN A DAVID LYNCH FILM), music, and (sorry Streethop) some good old-fashioned Bible study. I've also been going to meetings just to be around other people who are trying not to drink. This has been amazing. It's especially poignant to see a young guy, little older than I am, who let alcohol completely wreck his life. It actually makes me happy because I say to myself, "Well, I'm not as bad as that guy, but if I don't stop, I probably will be." Big motivator. It has the unintended effect of making me doubt my addiction cred, though: I share with the group and my shit is always tepid, minor league stuff. No, I didn't lose my job, crash my car, or end up alone. But I'm the only one in there thinking like that. They all seem happy I decided to stop when I did and they take my problem and its significance for what it is. They know, like I do, that the best case for an alcholic is a life of quiet desperation.
One last thing. People get infuriated when you suggest this, but if you recoil at/rail against/are fascinated by/debunk 12-step programs, there is a possibility it's because you have a messed up relationship with drugs or alcohol. Maybe you owe it to yourself to check it out? Go, sit in the back, be disgusted, then go home and call it crap. It's nobody's business but your own. And if you want to stay sober, but dislike meetings, I wish you well--sincerely, humbly, with all my heart.
But the people I'm meeting now are trying to help me because it's good for them to help another addict. I'm putting myself out there too, for the first time in years, and that's a vital means of keeping myself from getting wasted, too.
But of course you don't want to isolate yourself either. It's a delicate balance. I find myself sending cheerful texts to my friends who drink (ahem, all of them) and just kind of making excuses when they ask me to go out. They're starting to get the idea.
When my daughter has a hold of something she can't have (plastic bag, iPod, whatever) and she seems to be really enjoying it, I have to give her something else before I take away the offending item, otherwise she will go apeshit and bang her big Irish head against the floor. We need diversions like that too. For me it's been movies (SERIOUSLY HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN A DAVID LYNCH FILM), music, and (sorry Streethop) some good old-fashioned Bible study. I've also been going to meetings just to be around other people who are trying not to drink. This has been amazing. It's especially poignant to see a young guy, little older than I am, who let alcohol completely wreck his life. It actually makes me happy because I say to myself, "Well, I'm not as bad as that guy, but if I don't stop, I probably will be." Big motivator. It has the unintended effect of making me doubt my addiction cred, though: I share with the group and my shit is always tepid, minor league stuff. No, I didn't lose my job, crash my car, or end up alone. But I'm the only one in there thinking like that. They all seem happy I decided to stop when I did and they take my problem and its significance for what it is. They know, like I do, that the best case for an alcholic is a life of quiet desperation.
One last thing. People get infuriated when you suggest this, but if you recoil at/rail against/are fascinated by/debunk 12-step programs, there is a possibility it's because you have a messed up relationship with drugs or alcohol. Maybe you owe it to yourself to check it out? Go, sit in the back, be disgusted, then go home and call it crap. It's nobody's business but your own. And if you want to stay sober, but dislike meetings, I wish you well--sincerely, humbly, with all my heart.
But the people I'm meeting now are trying to help me because it's good for them to help another addict. I'm putting myself out there too, for the first time in years, and that's a vital means of keeping myself from getting wasted, too.
I'm glad that I don't have an addictive personality. The only thing I've ever managed to get even slightly addicted to is caffeine, and even then if I don't have any in the house (as is the case today), it's not like ARRGHHHH RAAGGGEEE FUUUUU like you see when office workers don't have any coffee in the morning. It's just like, OK, get on with my day, no problem.
I've had a half empty bottle of whiskey sitting right on my desk for over 2 months now and haven't once felt the need to drink any of it.
I've had a half empty bottle of whiskey sitting right on my desk for over 2 months now and haven't once felt the need to drink any of it.
They're cliche and outdated, though.
If I don't smoke for a week, I don't crave it. When I do break the streak, I do it hard. A Newport 100 outside the Atlanta airport has me seeing stars for 20 minutes. It's happened two or three times now when not being able to smoke at home and then heading back to college.
I actually have an addiction to Daiya cheese, where I can't stop eating it out the bag. It's finished in two days, and that's between eating it out the bag and in salads or other foods. But I guess I don't go ape shit over it either.
Time heals everything, for me. No matter how bad the addiction.
If I don't smoke for a week, I don't crave it. When I do break the streak, I do it hard. A Newport 100 outside the Atlanta airport has me seeing stars for 20 minutes. It's happened two or three times now when not being able to smoke at home and then heading back to college.
I actually have an addiction to Daiya cheese, where I can't stop eating it out the bag. It's finished in two days, and that's between eating it out the bag and in salads or other foods. But I guess I don't go ape shit over it either.
Time heals everything, for me. No matter how bad the addiction.
It largely depends on why we do it in the first place. I think I've never developed an addiction for cigarettes no matter how much I smoked them simply because I never had that moment where I wanted to resolve a problem with a cigarette. "Fuck, I'm angry, I'm going to smoke a cigarette to calm down." Never had that. It's always, "Hey, I'd like to smoke a cigarette now and I'm drinking, so it feels right."
Also, I never drank because I was sad or wanted to forget something. "This girl rejected me, I'll go get black out wasted cause I'm so sad and lonely". "I don't have a job so I"ll get drunk" - Never those reasons. It's always cause it's a social thing to do and I like to lose my inhibitions.
Also, I never drank because I was sad or wanted to forget something. "This girl rejected me, I'll go get black out wasted cause I'm so sad and lonely". "I don't have a job so I"ll get drunk" - Never those reasons. It's always cause it's a social thing to do and I like to lose my inhibitions.
yeah but it makes it more manageable. like, nicotine addiction is fucking way too real and sad. my mom would smoke in the bathroom of an airplane cause she couldn't wait. she didn't get caught, a lot of people don't actually, but it's still a huge fucking fine and a serious offense, right? my friend got a ticket at a seahawks game for smoking somewhere on the stadium. he couldn't wait. it's serious shit. that to me, is addiction. when you HAVE to have it. everything else is pussy shit. or people who need a shot of alcohol in the morning to function. that's real shit.
btw, my mom quit, cold turkey, this past january. after smoking for 30 years.
btw, my mom quit, cold turkey, this past january. after smoking for 30 years.
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