I'll start:
A man walks into a bar, and his head is an orange.
He sits down, orders a drink. The bartender eyes him warily, but gets him what he wants. The man sits sipping the drink, idly watching the football match on the TV. After a while, he runs dry and orders another.
"Tell you what," says the bartender, "I'll let you have this next one on the house if you tell me what happened to your head. I know it's none of my business, but..."
The man smiles. "Don't worry about it, I get this all the time."
The bartender leans in close as the guy starts to tell his story. "Last week my grandfather died at the age of 98, and in his will he left me his old house. I was cleaning out the attic when I came across a box full of exotic souvenirs from his trips around the world. At the bottom of the box was an old Persian oil lamp covered in dust. As I brushed off the dust to read the inscription, there was a low rumble and smoke billowed forth from the spout of the lamp. Suddenly, before me, stood a seven-foot tall being, dressed in traditional Arabian garb, arms crossed.
'Free at last! Free at last! My Master, I am the Genie of the lamp,' said the entity. 'I have been trapped in this lamp for 50 years! For releasing me, I shall grant you three wishes. What is your first wish, my Master?'
I couldn't believe my eyes at first, but I decided to test it out. 'Alright,' I said, 'I wish for one million pounds to magically appear in my pocket, and that no matter how much I spend that amount will be automatically replenished.'
'Your wish is granted!' boomed the Genie. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a brand new wallet, stuffed to bursting with crisp, new notes. I started to count them, but whenever i took one from the wallet it was instantaneously replaced.
'What is you second wish, my Master?'
I pondered the notion for a long moment, assessing my needs. 'Genie,' I said, 'for my second wish, I want a grand, luxurious mansion, with a swimming pool, an 18-hole golf course, and 52-inch plasma TV in every room. Waiting there for me I want a dozen beautiful young women who will all fall madly in love with me at first sight.'
'Your wish is granted!' bellowed the Genie, and I found myself outside a palatial mansion, surrounded by a bevy of bikini-clad beauties. The Genie stood before me, looking down in satisfaction at his work so far.
'What is your third wish, my Master?'
I thought long and hard. Truly, this last wish tasked the very limits of my imagination, my beliefs, my ethics, my philosophy. Hours passed in silence until at last, I spoke.
'Genie, for my third wish, I want my head to be an orange.'"
A man walks into a bar, and his head is an orange.
He sits down, orders a drink. The bartender eyes him warily, but gets him what he wants. The man sits sipping the drink, idly watching the football match on the TV. After a while, he runs dry and orders another.
"Tell you what," says the bartender, "I'll let you have this next one on the house if you tell me what happened to your head. I know it's none of my business, but..."
The man smiles. "Don't worry about it, I get this all the time."
The bartender leans in close as the guy starts to tell his story. "Last week my grandfather died at the age of 98, and in his will he left me his old house. I was cleaning out the attic when I came across a box full of exotic souvenirs from his trips around the world. At the bottom of the box was an old Persian oil lamp covered in dust. As I brushed off the dust to read the inscription, there was a low rumble and smoke billowed forth from the spout of the lamp. Suddenly, before me, stood a seven-foot tall being, dressed in traditional Arabian garb, arms crossed.
'Free at last! Free at last! My Master, I am the Genie of the lamp,' said the entity. 'I have been trapped in this lamp for 50 years! For releasing me, I shall grant you three wishes. What is your first wish, my Master?'
I couldn't believe my eyes at first, but I decided to test it out. 'Alright,' I said, 'I wish for one million pounds to magically appear in my pocket, and that no matter how much I spend that amount will be automatically replenished.'
'Your wish is granted!' boomed the Genie. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a brand new wallet, stuffed to bursting with crisp, new notes. I started to count them, but whenever i took one from the wallet it was instantaneously replaced.
'What is you second wish, my Master?'
I pondered the notion for a long moment, assessing my needs. 'Genie,' I said, 'for my second wish, I want a grand, luxurious mansion, with a swimming pool, an 18-hole golf course, and 52-inch plasma TV in every room. Waiting there for me I want a dozen beautiful young women who will all fall madly in love with me at first sight.'
'Your wish is granted!' bellowed the Genie, and I found myself outside a palatial mansion, surrounded by a bevy of bikini-clad beauties. The Genie stood before me, looking down in satisfaction at his work so far.
'What is your third wish, my Master?'
I thought long and hard. Truly, this last wish tasked the very limits of my imagination, my beliefs, my ethics, my philosophy. Hours passed in silence until at last, I spoke.
'Genie, for my third wish, I want my head to be an orange.'"
