my online dating profile

[Tha_Wood]

somebody write up an about me for it. i will put the best one up for all to see. also best person gets a mod spot of there choosing if they want.

 

[vg4030]

"Single, Desperate and Horny"

Come sit on my face and Ill pay you a dollar

 

[Pittsey]

Man Seeking Man.


Good time guy looking for similar. Must have a huge penis, A penchant for Black men and group sex.

My Name is Woody. I am a 20 something guy who loves partying. I am looking for someone to complete my life and possibly take control of me as I am a free spirit. I am interested in Alcohol, partying and cyber bullying. I like sunsets and long walks on the beach.

 

[hizzle?]

"Fuck me in the mouth."

 

[Flipmo]

Man seeking Female

My name is Mr. Woods, for I have erections harder than Western Canadian oak trees. I have been to rehab once, and while it was an interesting experience, I failed miserably at it as I got trashed the next night and witnessed a Mexican donkey sex show. On my spare time I like going onto Streethop, a message board, where I exercise the only power I've ever had as a forum Admin. Other hobbies I have include watching survivor, I love it so much that I can't help but touch myself at the sight of Boston Rob... as a matter of fact - I just see a Boston Red Sox cap and I get the urge to fap.

While I can't promise to treat you like a classy woman, I promise to give you a good rogering because I love sluts.

Message me.

PS: I am Australian.

 

[masta247]

I came here to post one but those above are too damn hard to beat.

"I've been incarcerated for drunk-molesting little boys and I possess all traits that can come with it. I am orally skilled and my anus is open for business - I await your "application" "

 

[Prize Gotti]

"We wants it. We needs it. Must have the precioussss. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitsesss. Wicked, trickssssy, falssse! No! Not Master. Yes, precious. False. They will cheat you, hurt you, lie. Master’s my friend. You don’t have any friends. Nobody likes YOU... Not listening. Not listening. You're a liar and a thief. Nope. Mur...derer...! Go away. Go away! Hahahahaha! I hate you, I hate you. Where would you be without me? Gollum, Gollum. I saved us. It was me. We survived because of me! Not anymore. What did you say? Master looks after us now. We don’t need you. What? Leave now and never come back. No!!! Leave now and never come back! Arghhhh! LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK. We... we told him to go away! And away he goes, preciousss. Gone, gone, gone! Smeagol is free!"

 

[Tha_Wood]

so far flip is winning, but i will have to make some minor changes for it to be allowed on the site.

 

[Stred]

" I am very persistent. I once stalked a girl for 3 years before she finally trusted me. I flew her to Queensland where I had digital sex with her. I lost interest after that."

 

[Shadows]

Man seeking Female.

My name is Morgan Eastwood. Yes, I am related to Clint Eastwood. I'd like to think I'm as bad ass as him, so I drink until I throw up, and then I water it down with some beer. My dream girl is one that can take a dick and always be up for it. You may have been unsatisfied in the past, but I go great lengths. I'll eat you out when you're on your period.

My hobbies include partying, music surfing and fuckin with people online. (This is not one of those times).

You may be asking, why would a guy that goes great lengths be single? Because obviously none of dem hoes is Charlie Sheen WINNING...

THA Wood.

 

[Flipmo]

lmao. I think Shadows topped mine.

 

[Rukas]

Woody, move to Melbourne, you'll pick up more.

 

[Tha_Wood]

lol i dont have enough money to move outta home again. went 10 grand in debt last time.

 

[Shadows]

lmao. I think Shadows topped mine.

 

[Stred]

"Hi I'm Morgan. About me hmm.. well, I work in a box factory cutting boxes for a living. I live at home with both my parents and sleep in a single bed with a sweet sweet Orlando Magic doona cover. I also have a sweet sweet flat screen T.V. set up in my room where I play COD (Call Of Duty for all you n00bs hehe) I once drank two liters of milk before throwing it back up, It's my profile picture if you couldn't tell hehe

I am upfront, If you do something that I don't approve of I will not hesitate to tell you. I take very little seriously, I'm the type of guy who laughs when someone commits suicide or changes the channel to Sponge Bob Square Pants when braking news of the Japan earthquake is on my sweet sweet T.V.( Carma for Perl Harbor bitches!!)

I'm looking for a girl who is short, curvy and has no self esteem. If you love doggy style and hate missionary I am your man!"

Too far?

 

[Tha_Wood]

lol summed me up perfectly stred. and for some reason even though it probably doesnt look like you wrote a nice thing about me, i know you meant it in a nice way.

 

[Tha_Wood]

on a completely unrelated note, how painful is it when hot chicks get fat. im not talking fat but fuckable im talking fat fat

 

[Prize Gotti]

on a completely unrelated note, how painful is it when hot chicks get fat. im not talking fat but fuckable im talking fat fat

I have a guide to the bigger ladies which I think works well. If their waist is wider than their shoulders, then they are too fat. Smaller than the shoulder width and i'm pounding it.

On an unrelated note, LOL @ Your avatar, I saw your post to stred on facebook about the house party plates n shit. Why were u looking for them?

 

[Tha_Wood]

lol i stumbled across this picture and thought it was funny as fuck, because it made no sense. then i googled party horse and found plates wit it on it and shit

 

[_carmi]