Arbitrary question. If our whole lives we are in the process of discovering who we are, anything we say, opinion we hold of ourselves, in the middle way is nothing more than juvenile conceit or else very likely to change with experience and the more knowledge obtained.
I don't understand you saying "Arbitrary question" (as if that confirms or denies anything). He asked "how do you see yourself" and you point out that it's a question that has no definite answer/is up to the individual. I'm just trying to understand what your point is.
If one is trying to discover oneself, it's thereby implied that one "is". This is a pretty abstract aspect of human life, and most people ignore it and live their lives, one humane impulse after the other. Even though every thought and opinion can be considered "juvenile conceit" after you've perfected the theory through greater knowledge, the thought still holds merit in the moment it's relevant to.
I think masta, in fact, wanted to hear people's flawed and misinformed conceptions of themselves for the purpose of measuring his own ability to judge his own thoughts and actions. He simply wanted someone to speak an emotion and not an abstract thought concept, for once.
Separate from response to Elmira:
I feel really great at the moment. I am coming to terms with the fact that I'm ugly and soon bald, I've got a better understanding of how people around me work, I'm starting a new job in August, I'm pretty much sober, I'm gonna have a big talking session with my closest friends and clear the air after six years where I sorta slowly fell out of the group. So it'll be presentation-style laying my cards on the table for them. That's gonna be interesting, but I think our friendship bonds will be much stronger.
The way I relate to what people think of me is something like this: I'm smarter than the average person and I generally outsmart people everyday. I'm not gonna try and not sound conceited cause it just fucking takes longer, it's not my fault a bunch of people are stupider than me. I'm still humble, and I don't think smartness is a quality that is greater than any quality other people I know hold, it's just one of many possible qualities. I am a caring and loving person, so much in fact that I can easily be taken advantage of. I'm still firm, and I have strong opinions that I do not keep to myself no matter the price. I believe in integrity and I am a bit old school. I believe in respect, but not the mafia kind - the kind where you pretend to respect things, even if you don't. Respect is a social construct that to me can't possibly have to do with how people see a person, it's about how a person feels around other people. Demanding/expecting respect when you're around people that you consider lesser than you is truly conceited. Desire for respect is a "side-effect" of insecurity. Like how Scarface wanted respect. How muslims relate to "respect". I think it's a matter of insecurity. You're so insecure about yourself that you threaten people to the point where they don't dare to look at you, so you don't have to be insecure about them looking at you. The concept of "respect" was born when a human being gained influence on a group of people. That insecurity is human nature. In the modern world where we're supposed to try and ignore our own instincts and impulses (like, when I wanted to masturbate in my car outside the shopping mall I got all the weirdest looks by the people that passed by - what gives?) it's hypocritical to still even talk about "respect". To me, respect doesn't mean to fear and take orders from someone, it means to unconditionally accept something without prejudice. I dunno masta, there's a bunch of emotional thoughts for you, straight from the dome. Maybe something along the lines of what you were looking for, or maybe your face needs a re-structuring.
