Congratulations

[The.Menace]

Congratulations

Can't no one see how hard it is
or understand what it takes 2 do all this
My mummy gets weaker every day, she's in pain
while my grandad is 85 and his brain
is no longer able 2 remember anything
I at least try 2 advance in this world of sin
but 80% of the people I grew up with are stuck
in this lifestyle - we all run out of luck
I barley sleep cause so much is on my mind
No rest, no peace I'm able 2 find
these days cause I feel like my end
is gonna come soon, understand
There ain't no time left for me
Now I have to make it over this misery
I'm not happy, but happy with who I am
Hustlin even though I feel like I'm damned
Nothing comes my way, I gotta chase it
can't rest but my destiny - I gotta face it
might be my death but then maybe I'm free
wicked thoughts - congratulations you just turned 23


-

 

[Devious]

Whats up tommy. This is real deep, i love the way you can make someone feel your pain through your words, you're good at that:thumb:

 

[SiGh]

I barley sleep cause so much is on my mind
No rest, no peace I'm able 2 find
these days cause I feel like my end

^W O W.

Damn thats some deep stuff man. I felt the pain in the words. Esp when you talked about the grandad, I lost em 2 years ago, but he was just like a vegetable till his passing. He couldnt remember who we were or anything.

 

[GhettoStar]

My god this is incredible. It takes alot to be real like this the flow is on point and the style is always great. I love how you paint such a vivid picture of the pain you are going through as well as your people. You have stolen the show once again friend and I hope friend is destine in the end for you man.

 

[GhettoStar]

you need to make that book homie

 

[Sebastian]

nice poem with a nice flow, even though its not the same through the whole poem, is it?

 

[SiGh]

edit.

 

[Synful*Luv]

I like the depth of all of your poems. I also liked how you seemed to switch up the flow, I don't know if that was on purpose or not, but it added character to the piece (not that it needed anymore character) you're such a cynic, and I like that too. It fits you and you're good at it. Keep up the good work :thumb:

 

[Kadafi Son]

Sup Menace. I ain't been in here in a while to read. This is tha first one, and all I can say is the same as everyone else. Where your book at? I felt the words you put down, which made me understand how you felt. I'm guessin the title is sarcastic, too. But I don't see where the flow changes. Anyways, keep it up. One day, we'll do our own book.

Peace

 

[The.Menace]

Thx anyone first of all, that was just something I wrote on my birthday. I had half a bottle og Gin and smoked on some ganja at noon and wrote some poetry, like I love to do it, this is one of the poems I wrote and well, afterwards my boys stopped by and the whole party thing started (At around 3:30 pm btw, cause that's how I do it).

@Thx Devious for the kind words,
@Sigh, thx for replyin and yeah, only people that lived through that before can relate to the whole grandad issue, I don't even try 2 explain why it's hard, you know or you don't.
@Breal, thx for stoppin by
@Ghettostar, you're too nice with me, I know it ain't that good.
@Syn, thx for checkin and thx for the love, ya all gotta be a lil harsh with me, I might turn arrogant one day
@Kadafi: Yes, I'm a lil sarcastic every now and then,

tommy u planning to do a book?

Yeah man, that's the plan, workin on it and hopefully i can get published in 2006, that's the goal. I'm workin on it, I just don't know if all this is supposed to work out u know. I mean - who am I, u know what I'm sayin. But gotta keep hustlin....

 

[k69atie]

hey, menace, wow what can i say? amazing piece of writing. like a couple of others say it is so good how you can make us feel your pain through your words- that shows how good at writing you are! great piece, i really enjoyed it (it was very emotional)

keep them coming :thumb:

 

[The.Menace]

Thank you kat.

 

[kimbo_thug]

i can defianlty relate to this if i could show half the emotion u do in my own work id be pleased keep it up xx

 

[Helena]

to be able to express your feelings so intensely is a very rare talent.
i read poems all the time and i can sometimes relate and empathise with them. this poem, although i've never been in your situation, i can almost FEEL your pain.
very good work babe

 

[The.Menace]

thx girls for takin the time and 2 reply.

 

[kman_69]

damn man, that was deep..


might be my death but then maybe I'm free
wicked thoughts - congratulations you just turned 23


ending was dope.

....shit, your old man! hehe.......fuck im 24 this year

keep em commin man, peace.

 

[The.Menace]

Hey kman, thx for repling. Ya all should be harsher on me, I might get arrogant one day.

 

[~live2tell~]

I love this poem, it's just so honest, deep, sad full of emotion, but still here's to when you turn 24 k? hehe keep doing your thing, I know you will

 

[The.Menace]

...and I love to hear that someone else loves a poem, . well, you never know but it looks like I'll be here in a couple of months, no need to worry right now.

 

[*Riaz*]

'I'm not happy, but happy with who I am
Hustlin even though I feel like I'm damned'

Dam homie i Rate you to the fullest,
Your work is Awesome!!

The use of words,flow all goes real well,
Alot of people feel exactly what uve wrote G!

Keep at it homie & im Definatly staying more active here

Pz G