Please read....I need to vent.

[Synful*Luv]

Well, fortunately I have not had to do a thread like this but I have to now...

My gram's doctor just told my mom and aunt that the chemo my gram is on is no longer working and they're going to take her off...what the fuck is that?! Take her off? Seriously? So pretty much that means that we're just supposed to sit around and wait for her to die? Thats nuts.. you know? And it sucks because she worked at the fucking United States Postal Office until she was injured on the job and had to quit... she worked there for years... but the post office is saying that her insurance won't cover her to go to another hospital to get a second opinion to see if something else can be done. What the fuck is that?


It's soo hard because my gram wasn't a sick old lady... she wasn't one of the old people who you see sitting around not doing anything, she was probably healthier than me. She jogged, ate healthy, went to the gym to work out and out of nowhere... this happens.

Now what? And fuck me, how does she feel? Finding out that pretty much she was to just sit around in pain waiting to die? Someone so full of life, that's like if one of us found something like this out.

Then my gram leans on my mom and my mom leans on me but who am I to lean on? I can't even fuckin cry in front of my mom because she'll lose it because she's depending on me...

And I feel so bad because I wanted more than anything for my gram to see my graduate from college with my Bachelors degree and now she might not... and wow I was soo fucking close too...

I know most of you don't give a fuck but i've been coming here and posting for something like four years now and I just need someone to let it all out to. I don't think i've ever in life experienced pain like this. I know there are some people on here who I consider friends who'll offer advice or a kind word... I need it right now.


Syn

 

[Casey]

Syn... I'm sorry to hear this. There really isn't much advice I can offer, and besides that I know that's not what you need right now, you just need to speak and know that people care.

I'm here if you need to talk. You know where to find me. Keep ya head up girl.

 

[Rukas]

Im sorry to hear that Syn, one of my friends grandmothers passed away yesterday

I cant really give you any advice that will help the situation, but perhaps you could look into alternative medicines? There are a lot of alternative cancer treatments that seem to work but I guess it depends on where it is, but perhaps it is something that can buy you both some time and more importantly, some hope.

 

[_carmi]

i am sorry to hear that syn sincerely. i am losing my grandmother slowly in her old folks care center cause what she has a no cure. i know there is nothing i could possibly say or do to make you feel better. especially in your position because i know what its like. i'm sorry.

 

[Devious]

sorry to hear that Syn.

i have to agree with Rukas, maybe you should see about looking into alternative forms of treatment... although those will surely not be covered by insurance. however, is money really an issue in a situation like this? i suppose it can be, but hopefully there are some affordable treatments. it's unfortunate, but with chemotherapy there is only so much that can be done, and if it's not working there really is no point in continuing the treatment. i really hope something can be done to save her.

 

[CoolWaterz]

hi syn
i know where you are coming from. My grandpa looked like he was 68 when he was 92. He was a great looking handsome healthy man's man...and then one day he went to the hospital to get his bad cough checked out and well, he never left.

it was devastating, and he never got to see me walk with my diploma, he passed a semester before, but he knew i was doing well in school and i would be alright. What makes me feel good is that a few months earlier when he was outside his new home that he moved in with my grandma, that was 5 minutes from me and his family..he told my dad "i have no regrets". This was before he was sick.

You gotta realize and take comfort in the fact that your grandma, like my grandpa raised great children that went on to have their own children, his and her grandchildren. I am sure your grandma led a great and fulfilling life as well. And cherish the time you have left rather than waiting for death around every corner.

i know how tough it could be, i looked up to my grandpa in every way. But i feel blessed to even have had the opportunity to know and love him

 

[Jeremy]

Sorry.

 

[S O F I]

I've read this.

I have a grandmother with diabetes, had her left leg amputated from the knee down a couple of months ago and is in a nursing home at the moment. She's in Bosnia so I see her about once a year. She's not in "critical" condition but realistically, she could die any day (born in '35). I passed up an opportunity to go see her (maybe for the last time) this summer so I can take summer quarter here. I'm regretting this, but it's not too late.

 

[k69atie]

Hey syn, I really don't know what to say *hugs*

That sucks big time


All i can say is if you need to talk - you know where i am

 

[The.Menace]

but the post office is saying that her insurance won't cover her to go to another hospital to get a second opinion to see if something else can be done

only in Amerikkka.

 

[Bobby Sands]

Mu grandmother died 8 years ago.She died suddenly of a heart attack.I dont think i have met a nicer person in my life.The rest of grandparents died before i was born or when i was very young.

I wish all the best to your grandmother.

 

[Synful*Luv]

Thanks so much guys, it really means a lot. I'm doing a lot better now as I had a chance to calm down and evaluate things. I have so much going on with me right now in my personal life that hearing this was just like... well, I felt at the moment that I honestly wouldn't be able to take anymore.

But, again, I feel a lot better now. I haven't had a chance to talk to my gram in person yet but i'm going to see her later today. She's in the hospital for her last chemo treatment today and won't be home until later.

Again, thanks a lot, it really means a lot to me. I hate talking about things like this with "real life friends" because it just makes thing so awkward... they don't know what to say and feel put on the spot and I'd rather just avoid that entire scenario so i'm glad you guys are here

On another note, I did get a really inspiring PM sent to me and it really, really helped me get another outlook on the situation. It helped me a lot. Thanks a lot to that person.

I wish I could hug you all but I can't

 

[Synful*Luv]

only in Amerikkka.

Yeah, we have to have the worst health care situation here

 

[Casey]

Yeah, we have to have the worst health care situation here

fuck, you don't have to tell me that.

my wife had to go to hospital a few months back and was assured she wouldn't have to pay much because they told her she would qualify for financial aid.

Now they are saying that she won't qualify because we are married and my income counts towards hers. Even though she told them that and they said it wouldn't be a problem!!!

Now they are trying to make her pay it, and the bill is $7000. :fury: :fury: :fury:

motherfuckers.

 

[Synful*Luv]

Yeah, it's bad here in Chicago. The guy who was elected president over the healthcare board or something like that at the free hospital here... fired half the staff and made the rest take paycuts. He then hired his friends in at outrageous salaries. And now the hospital isn't even free anymore. People are getting bills sent to their home in outrageous amounts.

Seriously, I don't even see how they can justify healthcare being so expensive.. Who in the hell can afford a $7000 healthcare bill Like 1/16 of the population.

 

[Duke]

I'm sorry to hear that, Syn. It's always hard when you have to "watch" (so to speak) a relative die.
You must understand, however, that there's only so much the doctors can do. They probably took her off the chemo, because, if it's not working against the cancer, it's only hurting your grandmother. Literally. Chemo-therapy is a horrible treatment but it's more or less the best we've got right now. I don't know the details of your grandmother's situation, i.e. how long she's had the cancer, when it was discovered etc etc, but doctors aren't magicians. Chances are that the disease is in too far of a stadium for chemo to effectively work. Basically the same happened to my grandfather 10 years ago. He had a mild heart attack, went to the hospital and then they discovered an advanced state of lung cancer. Also, for a long period during the disease it's hard to see that a person is (terminally) ill (in regard to you saying she wasn't a sick old lady). Loss of hair, getting very skinny and having no energy (the "trademark" of cancer patients) are all effects of chemotherapy and not of the disease. Unless the disease is close to terminal, you couldn't see if she was sick or not. In essence, thats the worst part of cancer, that you can't see it.
I know it's very hard to even try and accept, but the only advice I can possibly give you is to be with your grandmother as much as possible now, while you can, otherwise you might regret it later. But I have a feeling you were going to do that anyway.



And yeah, America hasn't got much to be proud of when it comes to healthcare. It's embaressing, really, when you consider it's the richest country in the world.

 

[Bobby Sands]

Ireland is worse.

Take for example the nearest hospital to meall this is true btw)

I went in to casualty for an x-ray on my thumb.I get my x-ray and then the doctor looks at it.He stays looking at it for about 10 minutes and then sayes that he cant see if it is broken or not and then asks another doctor.The other doctor confirms that it is badly broken.

My sisters ex-boyfriend went in to this hospital with severe pains in his side(appendix).They left him on a hospital bed until his appendix burst.Believe it or not,the same thing happend my sister at the same hospital.

One evening i was playing a hurling match(irish game with the sticks) and i got a belt into the jaw with a hurling stick.I wasnt much but i woke up the next day with my jaws swelled out like a balloon.I was sick as well.I thought the swollen jaw was a result of being hit in the match and i just happend to get the flu as well.I go into this hospital for an x-ray.All the time i am there the doctor is looking at me and I also explain that i am sick.She sends me in for an x-ray but it shows nothing and prescribes painkillers and i go home.My aunt visits the next day and when she sees me,she is like "jesus,you have the mumps".The doctors couldn't tell that i had the mumps.

My sister had a severe asthma attack at christmas.She went to this hospital and they turned her away.It got worse and she had to be rushed back to hospital again one night.She was lucky not to die.

My aunt has been very sick for the past 3 months or so.She had tests and stuff done at this hospital but they fucked up again and there was a delay with her results or something.She was then moved to a different hospital and there was a delay in sending her test results up.At was a chance at the time that she might have cancer but thankfully it wasnt and she is getting better now.All the delays led to her becoming more ill.

My sister's firends mother went into this hospital complaining of chest pains and a pain down along her left shoulder(everyone knows that these are signs that a person may have a heart attack).They sent her away saying that it wasnt much.She died later that night from a massive heart attack.


I have no confidence in this hospital anymore.I would prefer to go to a hospital further away.Its a disgrace.The health system here is a joke.

 

[Casey]

Ireland is worse.

Take for example the nearest hospital to meall this is true btw)

I went in to casualty for an x-ray on my thumb.I get my x-ray and then the doctor looks at it.He stays looking at it for about 10 minutes and then sayes that he cant see if it is broken or not and then asks another doctor.The other doctor confirms that it is badly broken.

My sisters ex-boyfriend went in to this hospital with severe pains in his side(appendix).They left him on a hospital bed until his appendix burst.Believe it or not,the same thing happend my sister at the same hospital.

One evening i was playing a hurling match(irish game with the sticks) and i got a belt into the jaw with a hurling stick.I wasnt much but i woke up the next day with my jaws swelled out like a balloon.I was sick as well.I thought the swollen jaw was a result of being hit in the match and i just happend to get the flu as well.I go into this hospital for an x-ray.All the time i am there the doctor is looking at me and I also explain that i am sick.She sends me in for an x-ray but it shows nothing and prescribes painkillers and i go home.My aunt visits the next day and when she sees me,she is like "jesus,you have the mumps".The doctors couldn't tell that i had the mumps.

My sister had a severe asthma attack at christmas.She went to this hospital and they turned her away.It got worse and she had to be rushed back to hospital again one night.She was lucky not to die.

My aunt has been very sick for the past 3 months or so.She had tests and stuff done at this hospital but they fucked up again and there was a delay with her results or something.She was then moved to a different hospital and there was a delay in sending her test results up.At was a chance at the time that she might have cancer but thankfully it wasnt and she is getting better now.All the delays led to her becoming more ill.

A friend of my sister's mother went into this hospital complaining of chest pains and a pain down along her left shoulder(everyone knows that these are signs that a person may have a heart attack).They sent her away saying that it wasnt much.She died later that night from a massive heart attack.


I have no confidence in this hospital anymore.I would prefer to go to a hospital further away.Its a disgrace.The health system here is a joke.

That does suck and I do indeed sympathise.

But at least you know that everyone is getting treated equally, you know - everyone is getting treated shitty because the doctors are incompetent.

In the States, if you don't have health insurance, you're fucked. The doctors could be good, could be shitty - but you're gonna need to pay some serious cash to find out.

Many people will have to end up paying that money and the doctors may still be completely incompetent.

 

[_carmi]

That does suck and I do indeed sympathise.

But at least you know that everyone is getting treated equally, you know - everyone is getting treated shitty because the doctors are incompetent.

In the States, if you don't have health insurance, you're fucked. The doctors could be good, could be shitty - but you're gonna need to pay some serious cash to find out.

Many people will have to end up paying that money and the doctors may still be completely incompetent.

exactly what i was going to say to bobby.

here the health system is shit cause we are running out of nurses and doctors so the emergencies are packed, the rooms are packed, the hallways are packed and we dont have enough doctors and nurses to take care of them. so it results in people being let out of the hospital earlier than what it should, the service is half good, some people are bladly treated, etc.

but at least our system is free. thats the only good thing.

 

[Sebastian]

exactly what i was going to say to bobby.

here the health system is shit cause we are running out of nurses and doctors so the emergencies are packed, the rooms are packed, the hallways are packed and we dont have enough doctors and nurses to take care of them. so it results in people being let out of the hospital earlier than what it should, the service is half good, some people are bladly treated, etc.

but at least our system is free. thats the only good thing.

Lol, but thats (also) the reason there are no nurses and doctors anymore.