How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[Jokerman]

Jesus teaches evolution in the New Testament. Matthew 7:13 to 7:14: "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." He's talking about Natural Selection here. In other words, out of an abundance of life forms only a few succeed in life. Survival of the fittest.

In John 15:1 Jesus Christ taught. I Am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. .. He's obviously talking about horticulture and genetically modified crops here.

Don't get me started. I'll quote him talking about the connection between the swine flu vaccine and autism, if I have to. Also, the Rockefellas. God obviously exists and Jesus was him.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Please read this first post and pray that prayer at the bottom of it to God from your heart.

 

[Duke]

Please read this first post and pray that prayer at the bottom of it to God from your heart.

Ooh look, a broken record.

 

[Shadows]

Jesus teaches evolution in the New Testament. Matthew 7:13 to 7:14: "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." He's talking about Natural Selection here. In other words, out of an abundance of life forms only a few succeed in life. Survival of the fittest.

In John 15:1 Jesus Christ taught. I Am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. .. He's obviously talking about horticulture and genetically modified crops here.

Don't get me started. I'll quote him talking about the connection between the swine flu vaccine and autism, if I have to. Also, the Rockefellas. God obviously exists and Jesus was him.

shoot.

 

[tupac4li4e]

shoot.

Unless that was a joke, I'd like to hear it too.

 

[Duke]

 

[Bender]

if someone gives up preying for lent, is that considered blasphemous?

 

[Casey]

if someone gives up preying for lent, is that considered blasphemous?

Preying? As in hunting down a target, usually for the purposes of killing them?

 

[Bender]

Preying? As in hunting down a target, usually for the purposes of killing them?

damn, you got me, i meant 'praying'

 

[Euphanasia]

if someone gives up preying for lent, is that considered blasphemous?

haha i once asked a co-worker what he was giving up for lent (as a joke since i knew he was atheist)

his response was, "I'm giving up lent for lent"

hilarious.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Did you go to church this morning?

 

[Casey]

Did you go to church this morning?

I burned a church to the ground this morning. It was awesome. I feel much better now.

 

[Duke]

Did you go to church this morning?

I did not.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Would you be willing to please take the time to read this first post and pray that prayer at the bottom of it to God from your heart.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Would you be willing to please take the time to realise your attempts at making this a holier board have failed and you are now officially wasting your time.

 

[Duke]

Would you be willing to please take the time to read this first post and pray that prayer at the bottom of it to God from your heart.

So you want me to pray the prayer from the bottom of this first post to God from my heart?


Very well, I searched the bottom of this first post, found the prayer and mailed it to God-from-my-heart.

 

[S O F I]

^He's a troll.

and you're a moron for gettin trolled on bitch.

GET YA TROLL GET YA MOTHAFUCKIN TROLL ON
WHAAAAAAT

CASH MONEY BITCH

 

[Duke]

^He's a troll.

and you're a moron for gettin trolled on bitch.

GET YA TROLL GET YA MOTHAFUCKIN TROLL ON
WHAAAAAAT

CASH MONEY BITCH

 

[S O F I]

Get ya mothafuckin troll on

 

[_streethop101]

I hate when people make stupid fucking threads like this even more than I hate atheists coming into the thread just to bitch about how stupid the OP is. You're both fucking stupid. Love <3

Also, I think the word "nigga" should be banned just like nig.ger is. I think only blacks should be allowed to say nigga on the board. And to prove that the person typing nigga is actually black, StreetHop should check the post and see if the grammar is severely horrendous, uses z's instead of s's, and has absolutely nothing intelligent to add to the conversation. Get on it, techo's.

Thank you for reading, I will pray for all of you.
Except frodobaggins.
He creeps me out.
<3