There is a fucking lizard in my apartment

[Maverick]

WOW, i see lizards all the time; i live in FL...

i remember once when i was a lil kid i had one as a pet, puff how can you be so scared of a LIZARD!!! and you said it changed colors? thats sweet as hell i used to play with chamelions all the time. those things are cool i used to stick them to everything trying to see what color they would change.

 

[marc]

^you never listened to mr. monk ?
lizards are nature!!!! and nature is unclean.
and lizards are animals...
Animals do things on the ground – terrible things .

 

[Tekneek]

Lizards are common in this area, I can't walk outside and not see like 10 them run across the sidewalk.

 

[PuffnScruff]

project, tekneek, i'm not used to the lizards yet.i've only been in florida a month. i know they are everywere. i just didnt expect to find one in my apt.

 

[Chronic]

If it is a Komodo Dragon, please run for your life, one teaspoon of its saliva has enough bacteria to kill 5 humans.

+ they go for the soft spots of your body first. You'll see your guts hanging out long before they kill you.

Also if you really want to see the lizard drop its tail don't be a fucktard (and an animal abuser) and cut it off. They release it themselves to escape.

 

[PuffnScruff]

+ they go for the soft spots of your body first. You'll see your guts hanging out long before they kill you.

sweet

 

[Shot 21]

Lol man this has got to be one of the funniest thread ever!

And Ima report to this to the RSPCA you evil bastards. Dont eat, kick, cook, cut off its tail or anything else. If it comes back make fiends with it. It may take a while of the lizard running away in fear of you. Or more likely you running away in fear of the lizard. But just allow some time for you and the lizard to gel. Get used to each other. Hell, you may even find something you both have in common. And after a while I guarantee you to will be the best of friends. If you need any extra help just order my book "How To Make Friends With The Lizard In Your Apartment" for the affordable price of $100 (send me the money and I will send you the book. I swear). But you will need to think of a name for your lizard. Research (which can be found in my book) indicates that the most common name for lizards in your apartments is Dave The Bachelor with Mary Elizabeth Hitler coming in a close second. Choose wisely.

Thank you all for your time, I hope you take this information away with you so one day us humans can live in peace with the lizards in our apartments.

 

[Saint33]

my friend used to have lizards in his house.we would slap shot them with hockey sticks.

dam i was gunna say step on it, but hell, this is a way better plan!!!

u cud even get like a cuple lil mini hockey nets and play lizard hockey.

 

[PuffnScruff]

Lol man this has got to be one of the funniest thread ever!

And Ima report to this to the RSPCA you evil bastards. Dont eat, kick, cook, cut off its tail or anything else. If it comes back make fiends with it. It may take a while of the lizard running away in fear of you. Or more likely you running away in fear of the lizard. But just allow some time for you and the lizard to gel. Get used to each other. Hell, you may even find something you both have in common. And after a while I guarantee you to will be the best of friends. If you need any extra help just order my book "How To Make Friends With The Lizard In Your Apartment" for the affordable price of $100 (send me the money and I will send you the book. I swear). But you will need to think of a name for your lizard. Research (which can be found in my book) indicates that the most common name for lizards in your apartments is Dave The Bachelor with Mary Elizabeth Hitler coming in a close second. Choose wisely.

Thank you all for your time, I hope you take this information away with you so one day us humans can live in peace with the lizards in our apartments.

lol ,the money is on the way