Last night was probably the most fucked up night of my life...
Ive lived in Manchester (UK) for like nearly 21 years now... And until last night, i never realised how much of a fucked up place it is...
Anyways, Last night me and one of my bois decided to go for a cruise in his car, instead of gettin pissed with the rest of the lads in town. We had a few things to discuss, and had to make a few errands... On our journey we had to make a trip to a place called "Oldham" (some of u may have heard of it.) This is where the first fucked up thing happened...
We were sat waiting at the traffic lights at a busy cross junction (manchester road/hollinwood ave junction) When i spotted a man... get this... taking a shit in some short grass, just a few metres away from the car... i couldnt believe it... at first i just thought he has just squatting, waiting there... but as we were waiting, he got up... pulled his trousers up and started to walk off... Now, i dunno about any of yous, but this is the first time i have ever known someone to need a shit so badly that he had to off load just a couple of metres from an open busy cross junction... And the dirty mofo didnt even wipe his arse! We laughed about the happening, and carried on with our business...
A couple hours and joints later... I started to get the munchies... so we decided to head off to a Macdonalds... Now at this point we were in an area called chadderton, and there are about 5 macdonalds within about 10 mins walking distance of each other... we usually go to the "Elk mill Mcdonalds." But on this occassion we decided to stop off at "Broadway Macdonalds", near my old high school, so we could reminisce about our school days... when we got there, we noticed quite a few people inside, and we thought it was kinda odd as it was around 10:45pm. We went inside... upto the counter and ordered our shit... We didnt really take notice of the other people who were there. Anyway, we must have been waiting there for a good 15 mins until we finally got our meals, and we decided to eat them in the car... So we head towards the door, to suddenly realise that a large group of people were sat staring at us. This is the part where I shit myself... amongst the crowd sat my psycho ex with her new man. The only words to run through my head was "OH FUCK!"... this new guy was clearly quite tough, he had a Deboh (off the 'Friday' film) physique, and he didnt offer no welcoming gesture... My ex whispered something in his ear, to which he obviously didnt seemed to be best pleased about... He got up with a few of his bois and started to approach us... Now im not the type of person to bail out of trouble... but i had to carry out a risk assessment mentally;
1.) there was only two of us
2.) the whole of what looked like chaddertons black population was gathered within that group...
3.) I was pretty high, and even now, im not to sure i could have swung a decent punch...
4.) my bigmack, and fries were gettin cold... and the large chocolate milkshake was starting to freeze my hand
5.)Im only 5'6" and this guy was like 6'5" and some off his bois were taller...
So after the brief weigh up of the situation, we decided to quicken the pace and exit the restaurant... to which the group of lads responded swiftly and started to head towards us... I for some unknown reason decided to try... and successfully... make the situation worse by throwing my milkshake into my Ex's congregation still sat down and splatter the people with chocolate milkshake... Unfortunatley i didnt have time to see whther they enjoyed the milky flavours of my beverage. Anyways, we jumped into the car... and drove off, whilst watching the group come out and try to throw cheese burgers and shit at us...
We sat laughing at this near death situation for quite some time, and even when we stopped off at my mates work to drop some shit off, his Boss told us to leave cos we couldnt keep straight faces, whilst trying to have a serious conversation with us...
Anyway, by now it was about 3 in the mornin and we only had to make one stop off in a place called "longsight"... To get there, we drove through an area called "bell vue." On the way through bell vue going towards our last destination, we found it unusally busy as it was like 3 am... but we decided they were people comin back from a night out in manchester city centre... We stopped off in longsight and smoked the last of the weed we had, and thought it was best, if we called it a night... Upon reaching the car to get back in... we witness 3 people in balaclavas, trying to jack an ice cream van that was parked on someones driveway..!! WTF?!? these niggaz must have had a serious case off the munchies, or just had really bad sweet toothes, U shaould have seem them... One was on top off the van, trying to get through the rook vent... another was trying to prise the back door open and the other, was using a screwdriver to get into the drivers door! It was such a funny sight!... So... we laughed about it and drove off...
We were driving through bell vue heading back home when we came to the strip, which had been pretty busy about 45mins earlier... but shit had changed, big time... it was still busy, but the whole left side of the road had been courdened off with a police line (for about 60 metres)... A car had been dumped out side of a pub, which clearly had about 5-6 bullet holes in both front and back passenger doors... And there were police everywhere... Slightly further up, 4 black lads were being arrested and put into a back of a police van...
Now, this must be the most stupidest thing i have ever done in my entire life... but i put it down to the eventful night making me a bit hyper and the weed... I wound down the window and shouted "Yeah Nigga!" as loud as i could... It felt like every copper that was on that street now was looking at me... We ended up getting pulled over... my mate had to produce his records to prove it was his car, and he had a licence... we both got searched and interegated on the spot about why we were out so late, and if we had anything to do with what was going on! When they found they couldnt actually arrest us for anything. They decided to cuff me anyway, and put me in a police car... drive me to the nearest police station with free cells (Collyhurst police station) and put me in a cell for the night...
I owe quite a lot to my boi who was with me, because he asked another copper where i had been taken, and when i was gonna get released... so he drove up to collyhurst police station and waited in the car park for about 4 hours for me, until i got released... So he could take me home, and take the piss out of me!...
And now... i feel rough as fuck, and like ive been abused... after getting stripped searched in the police station... being deprived of sleep... and still feeling the effects of the weed...
To be honest, i think im gonna give up smokin it... cos it clearly aint good for your health....
THE END.
PEacE
H
Ive lived in Manchester (UK) for like nearly 21 years now... And until last night, i never realised how much of a fucked up place it is...
Anyways, Last night me and one of my bois decided to go for a cruise in his car, instead of gettin pissed with the rest of the lads in town. We had a few things to discuss, and had to make a few errands... On our journey we had to make a trip to a place called "Oldham" (some of u may have heard of it.) This is where the first fucked up thing happened...
We were sat waiting at the traffic lights at a busy cross junction (manchester road/hollinwood ave junction) When i spotted a man... get this... taking a shit in some short grass, just a few metres away from the car... i couldnt believe it... at first i just thought he has just squatting, waiting there... but as we were waiting, he got up... pulled his trousers up and started to walk off... Now, i dunno about any of yous, but this is the first time i have ever known someone to need a shit so badly that he had to off load just a couple of metres from an open busy cross junction... And the dirty mofo didnt even wipe his arse! We laughed about the happening, and carried on with our business...
A couple hours and joints later... I started to get the munchies... so we decided to head off to a Macdonalds... Now at this point we were in an area called chadderton, and there are about 5 macdonalds within about 10 mins walking distance of each other... we usually go to the "Elk mill Mcdonalds." But on this occassion we decided to stop off at "Broadway Macdonalds", near my old high school, so we could reminisce about our school days... when we got there, we noticed quite a few people inside, and we thought it was kinda odd as it was around 10:45pm. We went inside... upto the counter and ordered our shit... We didnt really take notice of the other people who were there. Anyway, we must have been waiting there for a good 15 mins until we finally got our meals, and we decided to eat them in the car... So we head towards the door, to suddenly realise that a large group of people were sat staring at us. This is the part where I shit myself... amongst the crowd sat my psycho ex with her new man. The only words to run through my head was "OH FUCK!"... this new guy was clearly quite tough, he had a Deboh (off the 'Friday' film) physique, and he didnt offer no welcoming gesture... My ex whispered something in his ear, to which he obviously didnt seemed to be best pleased about... He got up with a few of his bois and started to approach us... Now im not the type of person to bail out of trouble... but i had to carry out a risk assessment mentally;
1.) there was only two of us
2.) the whole of what looked like chaddertons black population was gathered within that group...
3.) I was pretty high, and even now, im not to sure i could have swung a decent punch...
4.) my bigmack, and fries were gettin cold... and the large chocolate milkshake was starting to freeze my hand
5.)Im only 5'6" and this guy was like 6'5" and some off his bois were taller...
So after the brief weigh up of the situation, we decided to quicken the pace and exit the restaurant... to which the group of lads responded swiftly and started to head towards us... I for some unknown reason decided to try... and successfully... make the situation worse by throwing my milkshake into my Ex's congregation still sat down and splatter the people with chocolate milkshake... Unfortunatley i didnt have time to see whther they enjoyed the milky flavours of my beverage. Anyways, we jumped into the car... and drove off, whilst watching the group come out and try to throw cheese burgers and shit at us...
We sat laughing at this near death situation for quite some time, and even when we stopped off at my mates work to drop some shit off, his Boss told us to leave cos we couldnt keep straight faces, whilst trying to have a serious conversation with us...
Anyway, by now it was about 3 in the mornin and we only had to make one stop off in a place called "longsight"... To get there, we drove through an area called "bell vue." On the way through bell vue going towards our last destination, we found it unusally busy as it was like 3 am... but we decided they were people comin back from a night out in manchester city centre... We stopped off in longsight and smoked the last of the weed we had, and thought it was best, if we called it a night... Upon reaching the car to get back in... we witness 3 people in balaclavas, trying to jack an ice cream van that was parked on someones driveway..!! WTF?!? these niggaz must have had a serious case off the munchies, or just had really bad sweet toothes, U shaould have seem them... One was on top off the van, trying to get through the rook vent... another was trying to prise the back door open and the other, was using a screwdriver to get into the drivers door! It was such a funny sight!... So... we laughed about it and drove off...
We were driving through bell vue heading back home when we came to the strip, which had been pretty busy about 45mins earlier... but shit had changed, big time... it was still busy, but the whole left side of the road had been courdened off with a police line (for about 60 metres)... A car had been dumped out side of a pub, which clearly had about 5-6 bullet holes in both front and back passenger doors... And there were police everywhere... Slightly further up, 4 black lads were being arrested and put into a back of a police van...
Now, this must be the most stupidest thing i have ever done in my entire life... but i put it down to the eventful night making me a bit hyper and the weed... I wound down the window and shouted "Yeah Nigga!" as loud as i could... It felt like every copper that was on that street now was looking at me... We ended up getting pulled over... my mate had to produce his records to prove it was his car, and he had a licence... we both got searched and interegated on the spot about why we were out so late, and if we had anything to do with what was going on! When they found they couldnt actually arrest us for anything. They decided to cuff me anyway, and put me in a police car... drive me to the nearest police station with free cells (Collyhurst police station) and put me in a cell for the night...
I owe quite a lot to my boi who was with me, because he asked another copper where i had been taken, and when i was gonna get released... so he drove up to collyhurst police station and waited in the car park for about 4 hours for me, until i got released... So he could take me home, and take the piss out of me!...
And now... i feel rough as fuck, and like ive been abused... after getting stripped searched in the police station... being deprived of sleep... and still feeling the effects of the weed...
To be honest, i think im gonna give up smokin it... cos it clearly aint good for your health....
THE END.
PEacE
H
