...is a genius.
What's another word for thesaurus?
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
The human body is made up of 90% water. That means everyone is that far away from drowning.
Why is it, 'A penny for your thoughts,' but, you have to 'put your two cents in?' Somebody's making a penny.
I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, "Hey, maybe I wrote that."
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
We had a quicksand box in our backyard. I was an only child. Eventually.
Why's the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Some people are afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.
My friend works in radio. When we go under a bridge, I can't hear him.
I was being interviewed for a job. During the interview, I started to read a magazine. The interviewer asked, "What are you doing?" I said, "Let me ask you a question. If I was driving at the speed of light, and turned the headlights on, would anything happen?" He said, "I don't know." I said to him, "I don't think I want to work for your company."
I went to a convenience store the other night. It had a sign reading, 'Open 24 Hours'. The manager was locking the place up. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours!' He said, 'Yeah, but not in a row.
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
One time the police stopped me for speeding and said "Don't you know the speed limit is 55miles an hour?" I said "Yeah, I know, but I wasn't going to be out that long."
Discuss.
What's another word for thesaurus?
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
The human body is made up of 90% water. That means everyone is that far away from drowning.
Why is it, 'A penny for your thoughts,' but, you have to 'put your two cents in?' Somebody's making a penny.
I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, "Hey, maybe I wrote that."
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
We had a quicksand box in our backyard. I was an only child. Eventually.
Why's the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Some people are afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.
My friend works in radio. When we go under a bridge, I can't hear him.
I was being interviewed for a job. During the interview, I started to read a magazine. The interviewer asked, "What are you doing?" I said, "Let me ask you a question. If I was driving at the speed of light, and turned the headlights on, would anything happen?" He said, "I don't know." I said to him, "I don't think I want to work for your company."
I went to a convenience store the other night. It had a sign reading, 'Open 24 Hours'. The manager was locking the place up. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours!' He said, 'Yeah, but not in a row.
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
One time the police stopped me for speeding and said "Don't you know the speed limit is 55miles an hour?" I said "Yeah, I know, but I wasn't going to be out that long."
Discuss.
