It all started right after eating a supersized number one meal for lunch today at some kebab shop on some street. I had an hour lunch break
so I had like 45 minutes to spare after wolfing down that supersized meal and two apple pies and some milk.. So I decided to walk down the street to check out what's new
And at the first bootlegger I stopped at he had the Cormega "True Meaning" C.D. So I snatched it up madd quick since he only had one of them. Right before I went to flip it to the back of the C.D to check the track listing, this fly looking girl stops at the same bootlegger and asks for Tweets CD. This girl looked good. She was about 5ft 5 with 36 DD's and about 140 pounds with a buff smile. So I took my eyes off the Cormega CD to check this girl out. Thats when she caught me checking out her nipples piercing through her white thin blouse and me imagining some porno type sh*t with her in my mind. She looked me in the eye and right then and there I knew she was gonna curse me out. But instead she said "What's Up Your that guy that I see on the F train everyday in the morning". And at first I didn't know
what to say so I started stuttering but then my mind flash backed to the F train and I realized that I be starin at this chick every morning. So I was like "Whats Up" How you doing ? And she was like "I'm gonna peep this new Tweet CD".."Do you know if it's any good" ? and I said Nah I don't know....And she was like whats your name ? And right b4 I could say anything my stomach made this nasty a$$ loud grumble
that even made the bootlegger look up...I was like my name is...and then I felt this sharp a$$ pain coming through my stomach...so I said my name is, and I told
her my name....But I must of looked like an idiot cuz my face was grimacing in pain and my a$$ started to let loose these bubbly farts... I was tryin my best to hold it in but the farts just kept slippn through....Then she said what time do you get on the train in the morning maybe we could meet up and talk and stuff during the ride....And I responded by saying "Hold On" I bent down to put back the
Cormega CD and thats when my a$$ started doing the HUMAN BEAT BOX (that would of put Doug E. Fresh to shame)....I dropped the CD and was like "I gotta go"
and I was trying to get out of the way so I could make a run for it but she kept moving each way that I was tryna go...Everytime I went left she went left and
when I went right she went right....Then finally I just steam rolled past her and all I could hear her say in the background was "Fine I didn't wanna talk to u anyway"...I jetted 3 blocks with my a$$ beat boxing with farts and my stomach hurtin and me sweating like Patrick Ewing at the free throw line..I knocked down anything that got in my way women, children, & the> elderly..... I got to my building where I work and the elevator was taking forever ....I was standing there Harlem shaking & 2 steppin just so the sh*t wouldn't burst out, hanging on for dear life...My ass was calppin like LUKE dancers…Then finally everyone started staring at me so I just ran up the stairs to 25 floor....I ran into the bathroom and as soon as I dropped my pants the diarreah came out automatically and I totally missed the whole toilet and sh*tted all
over the back of the toilet and floor....Thats when I learned the real meaning of **DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT**....And to top it off they had no toilet paper so
I had to use my boxers as tissue at first...I threw them in the garbage then I snuck to another stall to get paper.....I had to go through the rest of the day with no boxers on....When I got back to my desk I told one of my co-workers ***Yo some nasty m*therf*cker took a sh*t and F*cked up the bathroom***...And he was like yeah I know we already notified the maintenance man that’s disgusting...
so I had like 45 minutes to spare after wolfing down that supersized meal and two apple pies and some milk.. So I decided to walk down the street to check out what's new
And at the first bootlegger I stopped at he had the Cormega "True Meaning" C.D. So I snatched it up madd quick since he only had one of them. Right before I went to flip it to the back of the C.D to check the track listing, this fly looking girl stops at the same bootlegger and asks for Tweets CD. This girl looked good. She was about 5ft 5 with 36 DD's and about 140 pounds with a buff smile. So I took my eyes off the Cormega CD to check this girl out. Thats when she caught me checking out her nipples piercing through her white thin blouse and me imagining some porno type sh*t with her in my mind. She looked me in the eye and right then and there I knew she was gonna curse me out. But instead she said "What's Up Your that guy that I see on the F train everyday in the morning". And at first I didn't know
what to say so I started stuttering but then my mind flash backed to the F train and I realized that I be starin at this chick every morning. So I was like "Whats Up" How you doing ? And she was like "I'm gonna peep this new Tweet CD".."Do you know if it's any good" ? and I said Nah I don't know....And she was like whats your name ? And right b4 I could say anything my stomach made this nasty a$$ loud grumble
that even made the bootlegger look up...I was like my name is...and then I felt this sharp a$$ pain coming through my stomach...so I said my name is, and I told
her my name....But I must of looked like an idiot cuz my face was grimacing in pain and my a$$ started to let loose these bubbly farts... I was tryin my best to hold it in but the farts just kept slippn through....Then she said what time do you get on the train in the morning maybe we could meet up and talk and stuff during the ride....And I responded by saying "Hold On" I bent down to put back the
Cormega CD and thats when my a$$ started doing the HUMAN BEAT BOX (that would of put Doug E. Fresh to shame)....I dropped the CD and was like "I gotta go"
and I was trying to get out of the way so I could make a run for it but she kept moving each way that I was tryna go...Everytime I went left she went left and
when I went right she went right....Then finally I just steam rolled past her and all I could hear her say in the background was "Fine I didn't wanna talk to u anyway"...I jetted 3 blocks with my a$$ beat boxing with farts and my stomach hurtin and me sweating like Patrick Ewing at the free throw line..I knocked down anything that got in my way women, children, & the> elderly..... I got to my building where I work and the elevator was taking forever ....I was standing there Harlem shaking & 2 steppin just so the sh*t wouldn't burst out, hanging on for dear life...My ass was calppin like LUKE dancers…Then finally everyone started staring at me so I just ran up the stairs to 25 floor....I ran into the bathroom and as soon as I dropped my pants the diarreah came out automatically and I totally missed the whole toilet and sh*tted all
over the back of the toilet and floor....Thats when I learned the real meaning of **DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT**....And to top it off they had no toilet paper so
I had to use my boxers as tissue at first...I threw them in the garbage then I snuck to another stall to get paper.....I had to go through the rest of the day with no boxers on....When I got back to my desk I told one of my co-workers ***Yo some nasty m*therf*cker took a sh*t and F*cked up the bathroom***...And he was like yeah I know we already notified the maintenance man that’s disgusting...
@ everyone who actually thinks this happened to him. Old story from 2002, but funny.
