An example of a way to not be needy in your situation would be to realize that she doesn't deserve you if you are this dedicated to the relationship and she is not. You are a person like everyone else, if you desire to be with someone who doesn't have such a problem with physical intimacy, you're not with the right girl for you (based on what you've said about her sexuality and general attitude towards intimacy). You are settling for less than you should due to some fear of ending up alone or due to feeling inadequate. Your "inadequacy" (as dictated by yourself) is making you yearn for confirmation that you are in fact not inadequate maybe? A constant need to reassure yourself that she's still into you?
Maybe I'm wrong, but I get the impression that you are holding on to what you have because you are afraid of losing it, because ultimately it's better than being alone even if it's not what you dreamed of. You are settling for less than you are happy with, and instead of accepting it and moving on you are trying to change her into being more like you want.