My life sucks balls as of late

[GhostOfRazgriz]

This will be long, so don't say im not reading that, I don't care, i just need to get this out. If you take the time to read and help it will be greatly appreciated.

I'm not even fully sure what the cause is, considering my grades are great and it was just my birthday. although I didn't get all i asked for, im satisfied. My new ipod doesnt work either but i still dont think that's it. i have desire for much but not much money, my family is rich but im not. other kids are much more poor and still ahve more than me, they dont pay there own cell phone bill and shit. i've come to deal with this though, i think these are just re-occuring and making things worse.

I think the cause of all this is really my mom and father. My mom is always complaining about negativity but she contributes more negativity than anyone, and it doesnt bother me until she begans to make my life more negative, she doesnt have to pay my phone bill, it's gay but i can live with it, but when she begans doing things that are detrimental to my mental health then it's bad. she's always complaining and in a bad mood, when something goes wrong its impossible to have a conversation attempting to solve the problem without her making things worse. My father is just a total faggot who i don't even want to get into.

I've left alot out so things are worse than it may seem, and it isnt teen angst or whatever. I'll overcome it and by getting this off my chest I feel better.Thank you for your time. Don't respond with soem gayshit because you don't understand the full situation.

 

[Casey]

Sorry to hear about that Ghost. It's good that you can let it out, I bottled up my hate for years until it got me a conviction for attempted murder. You probably just need some independant space away from you're folks.

 

[SiGh]

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[GhostOfRazgriz]

My Mom complains and basically when i address problems, instead of helping to resolve them she basically advertises how she doesnt want me in the house so if i don't like things I should just leave, after being told this for months straight i left for a bit. stayed with a friend, and she goes out and looks for me and shit like that after telling me to leave. i can't wait until i go to college. I need a job also.

Memories and reminiscing is what has been keeping me from beign depressed lately, i've always been one who loves a nostalgic feeling and likes to look back on things. probably why i remember things so well and why id rather listen to music before my time and follow culture before my time. but that could also be because culturally andm usically the 2000's have been a dissapointment so far, few exceptions.

 

[SiGh]

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[GhostOfRazgriz]

yes,things should be good this time of year for me right?

 

[SiGh]

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[GhostOfRazgriz]

hit up on aim

 

[PuffnScruff]

almost sounds like your going through normal teenager things.

 

[GhostOfRazgriz]

almost sounds like your going through normal teenager things.

probably in a way.

 

[SiGh]

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[Dante]

i'll be brief. it's well known on the board that i'm a professional and licensed psychotherapist, but it's not ethical to counsel over the internet without a professional framework. that being said, this is my gut and informal take on your post, and i may be completely off...

as for the money, your money situation is actually a blessing. my parents were relatively wealthy when i stayed there, and they made me earn my own way through life. i never was given a car, i had to earn my own money, and while it was pre-cell phone, i too had to pay my own phone bill. yes, it certainly does suck when you don't have money while your friends are pissing it away on stupid shit, but stop and take a look... my friends who were given cars beat them to shit and never really grasped an appreciation for how to value and cherish what they are priviledged to have. meanwhile my first car was a baby blue '84 dodge aries. i kept the shit clean as hell, and i learned how to take care of my shit and appreciate every step i progress through. it's a blessing. trust me.

as for the 'rents, well it's a two way street. while they may bother you, you also have to own either antagonizing or otherwise contributing to the disharmony. there's no miracle cure, but my first step would be to a) remove yourself from the antagonizing environment as much as possible (come home for dinner and then hole up to do your homework, etc) for a short time, or even better would be b) sit down and have an honest and frank talk with the 'rents. you might think they won't or don't get it, but when you express your feelings to you family honestly, even if you fight immediately after that, they walk away with a planted seed.

yeah, being 16 can suck because there's a lot of shit going on at the age, but if things just don't get better at home after you've tried to make it change positively, then you're only 2 or so years from college, at which time you can elect to move somewhere outside the home.

last, feelings of being down are cyclical. break the cycle by doing something for yourself that you enjoy.

 

[GhostOfRazgriz]

Communication is key when attempting to talk things out and thats soemthing im yet to be able to establish with my parents after trying many times. my parents are older than the parents of most people my age, that probably has soemthign to do with it, but my grandmother is the coolest person ever although thats how all grandmothers are. luckily she lives down the street from me. I have many friends, so being with them helps alot. im not good at talking to people about things like this, problem i developed when i was young, probably from my dad. and when they dont understand me it makes it worse. and although i have problems with my dad, hes not a total dickhead, he can be quite cool at times. but others hes just majorly gay. my mom's attitude has been causing turmoil between my parents also, my dad doesnt want a divorce and my mom doesnt either, but they act like they might get one alot of times as of late which my parents have never argued excessively before, i doubt a divorce will happen but if it does it's a little god damn late when yoube been married 25 years and you're almost 50 to get a divorce, honestly i couldn't care.

 

[linx]

My life has been anything but exciting for some time now. I don't let it bother me though. Why should I? I just go through every day like it's another day and I don't really let anything bother me. Shit will hopefully get better. Just remember, there's always people that have it worse.

 

[GhostOfRazgriz]

another problem is, i dont have anyone to speak to about shit anymore, i ahve many friends but not any who im confortable telling everythign to in detail which is how id feel better. i used to feel better just being around my dog, who i loved alot, but after i went throguh last year which was very difficult, i ahd teachers who tried to fail me and get me in trouble whenever possible, and more things. I survived and it made me stronger, what helped me survive was probably my dog as gay as that may sound. and then after making it through everything, she dies, she was only 5 years old. and then right after that one of my best friends moved to hawaii, then another to west VA because his mom kicked him out. i've changed i elect not to fuck with fakes anymore, so i went from 200 friends to not even 50, because im done fuckign with fake shit. that was tough to although in the long run its been better.

 

[LilShOrtiE485]

Just like try to forget all the stuff your mom says to you, and spend some time with her like when shes just watching tv go and sit next to her and talk to her about ur day in school and all. My mom sometimes does that too and I just try to like forget about it and start talking about other stuff.

N if it makes u feel better then my life sucks more then urs does I cant even get the guy Im in love with and I thnk about him 24/7 and my head is gonna explode any day now cuz of all of the crap going on in school n all.

and if u ever wanna talk to someone about ANYTHING u can always PM me!!!

 

[SiGh]

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[KFatal]

damn.. trust me i feel u on this shit...
about 8 months ago i went into a big depression and my life pretty much got fucked from there on, i thought crazy shit, lost interest in everything, my head was (still is) hurting like shit 24/7 all day every day. i was hella confused about everything.. used to post some retarted ass shit here on tb..pretty embarrassing to look at now days but oh wll...went to see a psychiatrist, got put on antidepressants.. that didnt do shit.. at the time i was living with my grandparents on section 8 in a studio apartment.. manager found out and i got evicted.. next few months after that were hell..after sometime i lived with my friend and his family for about a month.. shit got fucked up and i had to stay somewhere else.. had to spend a night at a youth center/shelter.. trust me thats one of the things that i think about a lot and it gets me in the worst mood.. cant get my thoughts of it niether... right now i spend my days in my grandparent's house (where i always lived) but cant spend the nights there, so i spend my nights in my other grandma's place... shit is hectic... as far as my health, shit is still fucked up.. i got put on another type of antidepressant and that shit didnt do anything either..so i said fuck it.. everyday i wake up feeling fucked up and feeling like i dont wanna live no more... but its been like that for a while now...i keep thinking about shit thats been going on all this time 24/7, that gets me into a real fucked up mood.. still hella confused bout everything, dont do much shit, dont go out much no more, pretty much about to drop outa hs cuz my grades r fucked.. so idk whats gonna happen.. i could go on but i wont.. if u really need someone to talk to ill put our bs aside and hit me up...i would also appreciate if dante or somene else with experience could comment on what i can do to improve things and get back on track.. thx

 

[Pacaveli-T]

get what you mean depression sucks im working one day at a time the best that i can but it sucks to know your alone in all of it, cant say none of it is my fault but i mean godamn.

i get my moments where i wake up feeling great then bam reality hits i think of everything i lost and how and its like shit and man nice guys do finish last.

and because for the last few weeks some shit has hit the fan not just cause of my family issues everything went downhill from my school marks to my happiness and my relationship with ppl.

Worse part is im stuck in some situations and i have a great support system here and its really nice and sometimes helpful but i feel like its just not enough and i dunno the fact that i see some other ppl bask in my misery makes me even sadder cause they dont give a shit not knowing how much i gave a shit about them.

either way the damage is done, ppl keep trying to give me hope and stay optimistic but i am realizing that some of it is a lost cause because some ppl just cant be bothered with me, and that hurts more then never finding out how they really felt about me.

 

[_carmi]

My Mom complains and basically when i address problems, instead of helping to resolve them she basically advertises how she doesnt want me in the house so if i don't like things I should just leave, after being told this for months straight i left for a bit. stayed with a friend, and she goes out and looks for me and shit like that after telling me to leave. i can't wait until i go to college. I need a job also.

my mom's the same, do we have the same mom? and when i say my mom's the same i'm not even joking. i feel ur pain. but i havent left the house tho because i know she wont ever lemme come back if i leave.