I got home late last night and had to take a last minute shit before bed. I was so tired that I kinda skimped on the cleanup. It was one of those putty like pastey shits that really cling to your ass cheeks. So.....while I slumbered, the whole mess started festering and my asshole must have started to burn and itch real bad, because, when I woke up, I had shit all over my hands and face and the whole room smelled like a party at a homeless shelter.
To make matters worse, I must have stopped mid-shit, because I had more of the heinous paste waiting to exit. Now I do a repeat of last night but my asshole is so sore, I can't really do a good rim cleaning. To make a long story less long, while I'm driving to work, my ass gets all sweaty and the paste turns to a foul soup. I get out of the car in the parking lot and I gotta take a piss. So I piss all over the floor in the garage and I can smell ass like nobodies business. This distracts me and I don't realise I'm pissing all over my hand and Jeans. FUUUCK! Now I smell like ass and piss and I go into the bathroom for a "Re-wipe". Too late. The fucking mess is all over my pants and shirt. WTF?? This sucks. This ever happen to you??
To make matters worse, I must have stopped mid-shit, because I had more of the heinous paste waiting to exit. Now I do a repeat of last night but my asshole is so sore, I can't really do a good rim cleaning. To make a long story less long, while I'm driving to work, my ass gets all sweaty and the paste turns to a foul soup. I get out of the car in the parking lot and I gotta take a piss. So I piss all over the floor in the garage and I can smell ass like nobodies business. This distracts me and I don't realise I'm pissing all over my hand and Jeans. FUUUCK! Now I smell like ass and piss and I go into the bathroom for a "Re-wipe". Too late. The fucking mess is all over my pants and shirt. WTF?? This sucks. This ever happen to you??
