Love & Life (Verse 2)

[crittaz]

I had a test verse recorded of this song. It should be in the recorded audio section somewhere if you wanna hear that. Anyway, I just found the verse the other day and decided i would write more to it. I don't have to equipment to record write now but that should be coming in the future. Verse still might be changed here and there before the final recording but here you go.

And I'm writing out these pictures//
Lost in a daze//
Let the words envelope and dissipate the haze//
Insist upon a change and//
Push away the fame and//
Push away the games and//
Push away the hate now//
'Cause too often the poison sets in//
Virtuous to vicious when the blood's done thickenin'//
I see it--got 'em, two holes in their neck//
Bitten by the steel fangs of the foes and their techs//
Ain't no sunshine near//
Get my gun right there//
And Imma blast 'til the light comes right here//
But it ain't 'gon happen//
Mentality is tainted with your fruitless passions//
You blinded, you just can't see that you trapped in//
with ignorance you wrapped in//
'Cause intelligence you lacked-in//
yes...
So sit back and let your heart be shattered//
Your mind don't matter, go ahead and get the...cancer//

 

[tHuG $TyLe]

I likey it.

Mentality is tainted//
with your fruitless passions//
You blinded, you just can't see that you trapped in//
with ignorance you wrapped in//
'Cause intelligence you lacked-in//

^that would be my fave part, i liked the flow of it.

 

[The.Menace]

give feedback before you post.

 

[crittaz]

:-D feedback given. comment plz:thumb:

 

[.:ORiGiNALOLDiESz:.]

Awesomeness.
Nicely done.

 

[crittaz]

repped. thanks uppin

 

[II-ATLAS-I]

i was feelin the last 2 lines.
just complimented the overall piece

 

[DaRoYaLbRaT]

hey I liked this! ur flow made this so easy & quick 2 read, & u had some awsome lines in there aswel.


Push away the games and//
Push away the hate now//
'Cause too often the poison sets in//
Virtuous to vicious when the blood's done thickenin'//

^^ Feelin that

But it ain't 'gon happen//
Mentality is tainted with your fruitless passions//
You blinded, you just can't see that you trapped in//
with ignorance you wrapped in//
'Cause intelligence you lacked-in//
yes...

^^ & that. ur flow was tight tha whole way thru & i felt wat u were sayin.. I liked this. Good job!

peace

 

[Pain Of Depth]

great, great piece!
Man, you're really making me happy with this lol...

Nice to see someone post something actually worth reading again.. been a while (no offense to other people)

The flow's really good, and the rhymes are good too!
Internal rhymes, a multi-syllable rhyme.. nice nice!

Keep doing what you're doing, because it's really good! The content's great!