Inside my mind

SicC

Dying Breed
Staff member
Apr 2, 2001
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Inside my mind there is this crime, committed and defined,
Perfectly etched into time like water over lime,
Within this crime I find my true side it has no choice but to hide,
It likes to lead a separate life leaving me unfulfilled and nullified,
When the two sides collide its like I am whole inside,
But this side is reserved nothing like the shadow within my mind,
It has tried to surface but to no avail,
It lies in wait in the deepest recesses of my brain growing stale from the pain,
Awaiting the day it can be freed from its chains,
Long ago it was the only show now its here no more,
Always to be rejected and neglected,
Relegated and jaded, the days pass and it becomes more faded,
There is no compromise, the shadows only wish, is its demise,
I must admit that through this time I have never tried,
Dormant it remains awaiting its day to pull back the grey,
Allowing in the suns rays to wash away this pain,
But the crime continues to go untouched and my mind is lost within this shadows clutch..

SicC

8/20/07
 
this is an awesome piece. I definetely enjoyed it. The flow was remarkable. My favorite part definetely would have to be this:

It has tried to surface but to no avail,
It lies in wait in the deepest recesses of my brain growing stale from the pain,
Awaiting the day it can be freed from its chains,
Long ago it was the only show now its here no more,

The choice of words create great imagery

I also thought this part stood out;

Always to be rejected and neglected,
Relegated and jaded, the days pass and it becomes more faded,
There is no compromise, the shadows only wish, is its demise,
I must admit that through this time I have never tried,

Definetely deep and it flowed remarkably

Overall, great job. I enjoyed reading it.:thumb:
 
THE SHIT WE GET THESE DAYS FOR PUFFIN ON A FAG
NO SMOKIN ANYWHERE DIRTY LOOKS NAG NAG NAG.
TREATED LIKE WERE LEPERS SMOKERS BLAMED FOR ALL
9/11 OZONE LAIR SMOKE GOT IN AND CAUSED THE FALL OF THE BERLIN WALL.
WELL BLAME THE SMOKERS FOR EVERYTHIN THATS A GOOD IDEA
SAID THE MP TO ALL PRESIDENTS SPREAD THE WORD VERY CLEAR.
WEVE GOT MONEY FOR WARS CANNAE FEED THE POORS
GET ASYLYM SEEKING GIRLS THAT CAN BE OUR WHORES.

CHORUS
SO A SMOKE TILL A CHOKE HAVE PRIDE IN YOUR PUFF
SMOKE TILL A CHOKE FUCK YALL GO IN A HUFF
SO PUFF FAGS BLUNTS WITH PRIDE
A SHOW YOU A LIGHTER A FLICK IT DONT HIDE.

ALCOHOL OR SMOKES ARE YOUR FAVORITE SHIT
THE GOVERNMENT SAYS TAX IT POOFY LIL TIT
FIVER FOR TWENTY NEARLY 3 QUID FOR TEN
MONEY WILL STACK UP TAE THE HEIGHT OF BIGBEN.
TAXED JUST FOR LIVIN ANOTHER GREAT ANSWER
HUGE RENT BILLS FOR SHITTY WE HOOSES MPS ARE THA CHANCER.

ROYALS AND RICH MPS WE THEIR 40 BEDROOM HOOSES
HOMELESS STARVIN PEOPLE SLEEPING IN THA BUSHES.
GIVE ALL HOMELESS PEOPLE A ROOM
NO MORE HOMELESS FOLK NO MORE DOOM AND GLOOM.
RICH HOLLYWOOD FUCKS WI THERE 7 DIFFERENT VILLAS
POOR ASS PEOPLE SLEEPIN IN TUNNELS WI NAE PILLAS.

LETS ALL GO BLIND GET 1700 DISEASES ALL COPYS
FAE AW DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AND LETS ALL HAVE FLOPPYS
CAUSE ANY NEW DISEASES BLAME THA SMOKERS
AW THE SCIENTISTS IN THE WORLD AW JOKERS
A SAY TO THA WORLD WALK ON THA TOKERS.

stefan amor 2/11/77
scotland glasgow
 
nice work man the images are painted crystal clear. one of the best drops i have seen from you in awhile..

"When the two sides collide its like I am whole inside,
But this side is reserved nothing like the shadow within my mind,"

def my favorite lines right there. keep it up homie
 
Dude siccy boy i read the thread title and thought boy here we go! Inside of siccs mind! Thats gonna be one fucked up journey.

But it was good dude. Real good shit. Enjoyed it.
 
When the two sides collide its like I am whole inside,
But this side is reserved nothing like the shadow within my mind,
It has tried to surface but to no avail,
It lies in wait in the deepest recesses of my brain growing stale from the pain,
Awaiting the day it can be freed from its chains,


^^^^ this part is mad tight... I really liked it.. I enjoyed the whole piece, it was a good read. Nice vocab n tight flo.

peace
 
great job with vocab and internals in this piece.

was a deep piece as well, ambiguous to me at first, but i definitely was feeling this Sicc. Been awhile since i've peeped anything around here.
 

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