After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling "Movie! Movie"?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
How can there be self-help groups?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?
If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman?
If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
If a tree falls in the woods, and lands on a mime, does anyone care?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If God sneezes...what should you say?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?
If you can read the marking, isn't that end already up?
If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?
If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?
If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
If you take a shower, where do you put it?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?
If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't hot water already hot?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Shouldn't it be some things in moderation?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?
Since cats always land on their feet and jelly bread always lands jelly-side down, what happens if you tie jelly bread to the back of a cat?
There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?
What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
What happened to the first 6 ups?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What is another word for thesaurus?
What is the speed of dark?
What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What's another word for synonym?
When people lose weight, where does it go?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
Who tows the tow trucks when they break down?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted orange?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
Why are there never any artist's materials in a drawing room?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the Force?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually?
Why do bars advertise live bands?
What does a dead band sound like?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
Why do we drive on parkways but park on driveways?
Why do we have hot water heaters?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why does bottled water have an expiration date?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why doesn't superglue stick to its container?
Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
Why is it called a TV set when you only get one?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell mnemonic?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is the word abbreviate so long?
Why is there an eject button on the VCR remote? Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?
If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?
If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Is there a Dr. Salt?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?
Why do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
Why do we wash bath towels?
Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Do they put underwear on corpses?
Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when really it just came on?
If a vampire were Jewish would his Sabbath start at sunrise?
Why do child labor laws not prohibit children from acting in movies?
If your eyes are crossed, do your tears fall straight?
If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?
Is the vice president's wife called the second lady?
Do you wake up or open your eyes first?
Can you "zone out" and be "in the zone" at the same time?
If French kissing is a big thing in America, how do French people react to normal American kissing?
Why is it called a soap opera when nobody sings?
Why does jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the scent virtually disappears?
Can a unborn baby fart or burp?
If a baseball player hits a home run over the fence, but then dies before he can run around the bases, does the home run count?
If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness?
Why don't they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer floats?
Why is there never a full English dinner or tea but there is always a full English breakfast?
What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?
Is it possible to be allergic to water?
When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?
Why do cats like to dig their paws into something before they lay down on it?
If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
Why is there a little countdown (like 8, 7, 6, 5, 4) near the bottom of the copyright info page in the beginning of many books?
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?
Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
Whats a question with no answer called?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?
If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?
"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
Do bald people get dandruff?
Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?
Do stairs go up or down?
When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change
their name to Knockers?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
Are marbles made of marble?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
Lifes weird and comic unanswerable questions.