How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Rukas

Capo Dei Capi
Staff member
Jan 14, 2001
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The answer to this age old question has perplexed people for eons.

Part of the reason the question is so difficult to answer is that the amount of wood that woodchucks would chuck on a given day varies greatly with the seasons and with the metabolisms of any individual woodchuck.

Modern internet technology has advanced to the point that we can reliably monitor the amount a woodchuck chucks in real time.

The results of this monitoring are shown below. Please note that the numbers vary due to the dispositions of the woodchucks involved.

Average amount of wood a woodchuck would chuck in a given day 855 butt cords of wood.

Median amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck in a given hour 452 butt cords of wood.

Record high for woodchuck wood chucking of 2475 butt cords was attained on 6-15-1996.


(NOTE: the above tabulations take into account that woodchuks chuck no wood on February second, in observance of ground hog day.)
 
This is not useless, this is vital information for the maintanance of our valuable living environment.













Nah, i'm just jerking you, Ruk, this shit is totally useless. Good job.
 
Good job Rukas...a useless thread for me to freepost in...
But it did make me giggle that you said "butt" a total of 3 times...
 
if a woodchuck woodchucked enough wood, we could promote him to "lumberjack" status... i think he deserves at least that much after spending eons at just "wood chuck" status.... for fuck's sake, even the wood pecker moved up the animal ladder... woody woodpecker got his own damn tv show... and all he did was bang his head against a tree about 100 times a minute... im sure the Misses gives the Mr. good blowjobs... wait... what?
 

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