History Repeats Itself (if you let it)

[~live2tell~]

Hey, I replied to Corvus Corax, Red Rose 1961 - 1991 and Religion and Race.

I wrote this poem the day after I wrote No More... I think its a lil more hopeful. I would appreciate any feedback you guys have to offer. I tried something a lil different for me with the rhyming so let me know what you think, thanks.


History Repeats Itself (if you let it)

I thought I'd gotten past
Learnt to live my life again
I am now reliving my past
Learnt nothing at all, alone again

Past history forming my future
Again I'm failing, running scared
Past memories haunting my future
Again, of the future I'm scared

Future happiness is to be my aim
Scared to live, but to live is my will
Future smiles, tears, fears - one aim
Scared yet determined, overcome I will

Aim high - reach out to him
Will he always be there for me?
Aim low - say goodbye to him
Will he ever truly understand me?

 

[The.Menace]

totally different concept by rhymin the same words. creative. I like that. The topic, well, seems like u have to ways to go, aim low or aim high, it's up to u.

 

[~live2tell~]

totally different concept by rhymin the same words. creative. I like that. The topic, well, seems like u have to ways to go, aim low or aim high, it's up to u.

Thx - I guess I have my moments

Yup I have ways to go which is good and I consider hopeful, I hate decisions though, especially the life altering kind, anyways thanks for peeping and thanks for your feedback.

 

[jm5471]

i liked it alot, how u used the same words but in different context n shit to work off the end of each bar, it was good and by explaining the concept it helped me understand it better, keep up the writin

 

[tomo5000]

yeah nice idea. love the use of the same words in different contexts, always better to aim high in my humble opinion!!

 

[~live2tell~]

i liked it alot, how u used the same words but in different context n shit to work off the end of each bar, it was good and by explaining the concept it helped me understand it better, keep up the writin

Hey thank you, glad you thought my lil rhyming thing worked, appreciate the feedback.

yeah nice idea. love the use of the same words in different contexts, always better to aim high in my humble opinion!!

Yeah I'm trying to aim high you know just not quite there, guess I'm off target right now or something, I dunno. Thx very much for taking the time to read and respond, pleased you liked.

 

[verse]

his was a good poem
good structure
you need to elevate ur voc
and put more depth into it
overall it was good
7/10

 

[MaKa\/eLiThaD0N]

the idea of useing the same words in different context is unique good idea keep on writing

 

[~live2tell~]

his was a good poem
good structure
you need to elevate ur voc
and put more depth into it
overall it was good
7/10

Thx for checking and commenting, it's appreciated. Will defo keep what you said in mind.

 

[~live2tell~]

the idea of useing the same words in different context is unique good idea keep on writing

Thank you, and I will

 

[Belo]

Aim for the middle
sorry.. stupid Belo
I liked the way u rhymed.. different idea
This was my fav part:
"Aim high - reach out to him
Will he always be there for me?
Aim low - say goodbye to him
Will he ever truly understand me?"
^^^ really liked that there... nice work
Keep it up
Peace
Belo

 

[k69atie]

sara i really liked this poem as i could relate to it a lot, keep up the good work :thumb:

 

[~live2tell~]

sara i really liked this poem as i could relate to it a lot, keep up the good work :thumb:

Thank you Katie

 

[~live2tell~]

Aim for the middle
sorry.. stupid Belo
I liked the way u rhymed.. different idea
This was my fav part:
"Aim high - reach out to him
Will he always be there for me?
Aim low - say goodbye to him
Will he ever truly understand me?"
^^^ really liked that there... nice work
Keep it up
Peace
Belo

I think I'm already at the middle. Glad you liked the rhyming scheme and thought it was nice. Thanks for reading and posting feedback.

 

[shattered dreams]

i liked this one...well written once again proving poetry doesnt have to rhyme in aa bb pattern
favorite part

Past history forming my future
Again I'm failing, running scared
Past memories haunting my future

 

[k69atie]

History Repeats Itself (if you let it)

I thought I'd gotten past
Learnt to live my life again
I am now reliving my past
Learnt nothing at all, alone again

Past history forming my future
Again I'm failing, running scared
Past memories haunting my future
Again, of the future I'm scared

Future happiness is to be my aim
Scared to live, but to live is my will
Future smiles, tears, fears - one aim
Scared yet determined, overcome I willAim high - reach out to him
Will he always be there for me?
Aim low - say goodbye to him
Will he ever truly understand me?[/QUOTE]

sara, i was really liking this one, i can relate to this a hell of a lot!!! my favourite part is bolded. this to me is excactly how i feel at times!!! wow! great writing!!!

oops already replied, but hey its a great poem

 

[tHuG $TyLe]

Nice poem :thumb:

 

[LarssonO7]

I really liked your style of rhyming in this one, overall its a great piece

Future happiness is to be my aim
Scared to live, but to live is my will
Future smiles, tears, fears - one aim
Scared yet determined, overcome I will

That had to be my favorite part, loved the positivity in that verse, you ended it nicely too :thumb:

 

[kman_69]

very different, but a good read...

Aim high - reach out to him
Will he always be there for me?
Aim low - say goodbye to him
Will he ever truly understand me?

^^thought that was cool.

peace.

 

[~live2tell~]

i liked this one...well written once again proving poetry doesnt have to rhyme in aa bb pattern
favorite part

Past history forming my future
Again I'm failing, running scared
Past memories haunting my future

Thx for reading and posting your feedback. Glad you liked the rhyme scheme, was just something a lil different I wanted to try out.