Funniest Diss Lines Ever

[Silleone]

"Fuck your mami your papi and that bitch u chasin, your little dirty ass kids, i fucking erase em"
- 50cent, love him or hate him, hes funny, diss to ja rule

"That other nigga in your group, i dont know his name but he can shovel my snow"
- Royce Da 5'9 dissin D12, the guy his was refuring to was kuniva

"everybody know what you doing, one white boy chillin with two fucking cubans"
ice cube to cypress hill, ahahhahah, that shits hilarious.

"put it together, i rock hoes, ya'll rock fellas"
- nas to jay z

"i steal puns chain and run, the nigga cant catch me he weigh 300 hundred pounds"
- 50cent, that niggaz hilarious, diss to pun

"thinkin u can diss me to jump start your career, i'll punch u in your fucking chest till your heart kicks in gear"
eminem to everlast(the dude that made jump around), ahahahah.

"i hate proof punk ass, he think he tough, he rolls with 40 niggaz cuz hes weak as fuck"
- royce da 5'9

"you tounge ringed mushface"
yukmouth to game, ahahahahahah.

 

[DPG iz all I C]

Is he a blood ? is he a crip ?
i'll sock that faggot in his big ass lips - Jayo Felony to Jay Z

Jayo your not a felon your a misdemenour - Jay Z to Jayo

Go against Jigga your ass is dense, im about a dollar what the fuck is 50 cent ? Jayz to 50

 

[IMAGINATIVES]

Swel Boogie]
Man please, come on you just a bitch tryna flip
And I can tell your nervous, why you got a twitch in your lip
Cuz you ain't got nothing for me, you corny, I know you saw me
Hitting up your moms, cuz she was horny, and it was forny, funny

[GR8 Scott]
Shut up dummy, learn how to speak
That's why your girl and your moms told me to sperm on her cheek
Now you done did it, try to battle me and you got calm looks
You 'bout to come get burnt like all the food that your mom cooks
And then one minute later, your gonna end up on the floor dead
You gased, the only thing that's big about you is your forehead
I'm fed up with all the things about you and I just heard one tune
And you supposed to be the illest nigga that rhymes in this lunchroom

[Swel Boogie]
Like everyone in this lunchroom including you better beware i'm the best
Just from looking at you, I can tell your mom's got hair on her chest
Cuz your eyebrows connect and their so long your lips will feel it
I'm on some shit that when i flipping......

[GR8 Scott]
I got that shit that you can't deal with, see you need me to save you
You know why?? cuz you don't have a flow, your breath smells like a platano

[Swel Boogie]
HOLD UP ASSHOLE, don't be tryna cut me off, cuz you soft
And, that's the second time you did that, ima send yo ass to the north
Pole where its freezing, and its come on, bad for your health
Somebody pass him a tissue, he's drooling on himself
What, come and get it, your deader than somebody with aids
I'ma play you like spades, hang your ass like dreads or braids
You don't want it, if you did, then your ass be a fool
I'ma embarass you so bad, your gonna transfer to another school

[GR8 Scott]
Embarassed never that, i'm too dope, hell yeah
And you ain't going no where but the lunchline or welfare
You ain't even passing your classes, your brain is rusty, oil it
And you couldn't drop no shit, if you was sitting on the toilet
You ain't nothing, look at all the rhymes that you be hitting with
My little sister burned your freestyle, my freestyle burned your written
shit
Soon you'll be in denial, and you're not gonna recall
That I burned you, and I can tell by 21 you'll be bald
I'm off the wall, with all the off the head shit that I make up
You need one haircut, plus about 33 shape ups
So go ahead and laugh at him, and i'ma come and take props
I'm the magnificent M.C., that's why they call me GR8 Scott

[Swel Boogie]
Why's you tellin' me your name, your friendless
You ????, you gotta ???? and you call him your princess
You a ????, you cheesy like a dorito
To get higher than me, come on you gotta smoke weed yo
Fuck battlin', i'ma whip yo ass you punk
To battle me, you don't need a mic, you need a asthma pump
Money grip, when i come around you seein' the bombs
You a pervert, jerking off the pornos of me and your moms
Money you wack, and umm I think its best you pray
You the type to get beat up, even if it ain't freshmen day
Come on man, ahh come on, I ain't scared a ya
You so poor the only time you eat is in the lunchroom cafeteria
You ain't even graduating, opportunity doors will slam in your face
You been in the school so long, you'll take the janitors place
Money grip, and you talking about my hair, look at your dumb curl
I'm surrounded by females, you don't even got one girl

[GR8 Scott]
You talking all that shit, and yet you still sound weak
The only reason you got any girls, cuz they think you be around me
Every since the beginning of battle, your best bet was to run paul
As this one girl told me, you went to the hospital and they cut off one ball
Matter fact, fuck that, I can tell I was wrecking
I'ma just leave and burn this muthafucka, eat steak um in a second

peace...

 

[PACISMAKAVELI]

Nobody's listenin to u plus ur beefs arent legit....so please stay off the T.I.P of my diiiiiick...LUDACRIS - STOMP

I'm an MC cuz u are what u eat CROOKED I

 

[DPG iz all I C]

Who is Crooked I dissing there ^^ ??

 

[Devious]

Ice Cube - No Vaseline

Verse 1
Goddamn I'm glad y'all set it off
Used to be hard, now you're just wet and soft
First you was down with the AK
Now I see you on a video with Michel'le?
Lookin' like straight bozo's
I saw it comin', that's why I went solo
And kept on stompin'
while y'all mothafuckas moved straight outta Compton
Livin' with the whites, one big house
And not another nigga in sight
I started off with too much cargo
Dropped 4 niggas, now I'm makin' all the dough
White man just rulin'
The Niggaz With Attitudes? Who ya foolin'?
Y'all niggas just phony
I put that on my Mama and my dead homies
Yella boy's on ya team so ya losin'
Hey yo Dre, stick to producin'
Callin' me Arnold, what? You been a dick
Eazy E (RIP) saw ya ass and went in it quick
Ya got jealous when I got my own company
But I'm a man, and ain't nobody humpin' me
Tryna sound like AmeriKKKa's Most
Ya can yell all day but ya don't come close
Cuz ya know I'm the one that flows
Ya done run 100 miles but ya still got 1 to go
With the L-E-N-C-H-M-O-B
And y'all disgrace the CPT
Cuz ya gettin' fucked out ya green
By a white boy, with No Vaseline

Verse 2
The bigger the cap, the bigger the peelin'
Who gives a fuck about a punk ass villain
Ya gettin' fucked real quick, and Eazy's dick
Is smellin' like MC Ren's shit
Tried to tell you a year ago
But Willie D told me to let a ho be a ho so
I couldn't stop you from gettin' ganked
Now let's play big bank take little bank
Tried to diss Ice Cube, it wasn't worth it
Cuz the broom stick fit your ass so perfect
Cut my hair and I'll cut them balls
Cuz I heard ya like givin' up the drawers
Gangbanged by ya manager fella
Gettin' money out ya ass like a mothafuckin' ready teller
Givin' up the dollar bills
Now they got the Villain with a purse and high heels
So don't believe what Ren say
Cuz he's goin' out like Kunta Kinte(sp?)
But I got a whip for ya Toby
Used to be my homie, now ya act like ya don't know me
It's a case of divide and conquer
Cuz ya let a Jew break up my crew
House nigga gotta run and hide
Yellin' Compton but ya moved to Riverside
So don't front, MC Ren
Cuz I remember when ya drove a V-2 10(?)
Broke as a mothafuckin' joke
Let you on the scene to back up the first team
It ain't my fault, one nigga got smart
And they rippin' your asshole apart
By takin' ya green, oh yeah
The Villain does get fucked with No Vaseline

Verse 3
I'd never have dinner with the President (X3)
And when I see ya ass again I'll be heaven sent
Now I think you a snitch
Throw a house nigga in a ditch
Half pint bitch, fuckin' ya homeboys
Ya little maggot, Eazy E turn faggot
With your manager fella
Fuckin' MC Ren, Dr. Dre and Yella
But if they were as smart as me
Eazy E would be hangin' from a tree
With no vaseline
Just a match and a little bit of gasoline
Light 'em up, burn 'em up, flame on
Till that jheri curl is gone
On a permanent vacation
On the massive plantation
Heard ya both got the same bank account
Dumb nigga, what you thinkin' bout
Get rid of that devil real simple
Put a bullet in his temple
Cuz ya can't be a Nigga 4 Life crew
With a white Jew tellin' ya what to do
Pullin' wool with ya scams
Now I gotta play the silence of the lambs
With a midget who's a punk too
Tryna fuck me but I'd rather fuck you
Eric Wright, punk
Always into somethin', gettin' fucked at night
By mr. Shitpacker
Bend over for the goddamn cracker, No Vaseline

 

[Shot 21]

Givin your set a bad name wit your misspelled name
E-I-H-T, now should I continue
Yeah you left out the G cause the G ain't in you

Dj Quik

Who was he actually dissing in that? Was funny though with the srepfather line.

 

[MakaveliLivesOn]

Who was he actually dissing in that? Was funny though with the srepfather line.

MC EIHT

 

[imported_MAKaveli_10]

lol

 

[PACISMAKAVELI]

Who is Crooked I dissing there ^^ ??

nobody, thats just a line he spits, the whole song is dope... he also says, "...u couldnt rap better then Tigga..."
the whole line goes like this....

"Im a rap phenomenon i spar with a beat, and im only an MC cuz u are what u eat..." CROOKED I - COAST CONTROL

 

[absolut_dreII]

I asked hip-hop for a single MC,
They said they'd send me 2, Fabolous and Jay-Z.
But these Gangstas didn't want to come up and sing on TV.
I'm gonna tell all y'all why they wouldn't battle with me,

Ok Bonnie, Where the hell is Clyde at?
He ducked me like a bitch for a little battle rap,
What you want me to do man, call out your fiance?
I'd have better competition battle rapping with Beyonce.
He's the king of New York, I'm a kid from the cella'
Only way he stays hard is by rockin' another fella'.

Sorry that I didn't have that much time to diss you,
I focus on Fabolous, he's my real issue.

Dude, you need to stick to doing Reebok commercials,
He showed up and tapped out after hearing me in rehearsal.
They didn't arrest you for your guns, it's because your rap sucks,
Cops charged him with illegally possessing 2 nuts.
Trade your throwback shirt for a skirt you little whinah’
And hike up your skirt, I can see your mangina.
You wanna blackball me? Well at least I gotta a ballsack,
If they lived at the spermbank, they couldn't get their comeback.

who were these by?

 

[Rather Unique]

who were these by?

The WWE superstar John Cena

 

[CalcuoCuchicheo]

^
John Cena

 

[IMAN_B]

^
No, it makes more sense if it's Pet Shop Boys, as they are fags.

but he says...."plus he raps with his regular voice...." and then he imitates canibus voice.....

 

[MaroC]

Bizarre say g-g-gunit, i bet you add extra g's in it-Royce (apparantly Bizarre has a stammer

Yall a group wit 1 star like destinys child-Royce to d12

Everybody thinks your wack, watcha gonna do write a diss song to the earth? -Royce to d12

LOL royce murdered bizarre in the hardest way.

"youre calling ya self an idiot. im just provin youre right"

"fucking clown, smile nigga hunk your nose...hunk hunk!"

"fans coming up to y'all like, which one is you?"

"youre the fat one, tell em thats your name.
you'll tell a joke whenever to, thats your game"

"who cares youve been on tour and you dont come off.
nigga, all you do is run on stage, and run off"

"tie you fat stinking ass to your couch and just feed you, you allready look like youre about to bust"

"nigga you can run or hide
i'll be on your porch with a cheeseburger trying to lure you outside"

"porky pig...about to dig his own way with a fork & spoon"

"I'm so full, i feel fatter than bizarre...
...minus the stutter, minus the ugly ass wife"


bizarre isnt that hard to diss I guess

 

[MaroC]

got in touch with his roots, found a redneck in his blood
and said "heck, country western rap records are good" - eminem

LOL