Death in the family

bigCASH

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Jan 15, 2005
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yesterday my cousin died because she had sickle cell anemia she was only 19 years old and she is the fourth person in my family to die within the past few years and not even two years ago her dad which is my Uncle died so i know it's extremly hard to deal with for her Mother:my Aunt and her two brothers:my cousins to lose a Father and a sister and for my Aunt to lose a Husband and a Daughter. And about a year and a half ago my Grandmother on my Mother's side died...but i never go to meet her because she lived in Africa and i've never had the opportunity to go to Africa...and right after that one of my Aunt's died and that's been hard on my family

but the thing that is bothering me the most is that after all these deaths i haven't cried once and i miss these people a lot but i feel like a bad person cause everybody else is crying and showing their emotions and it probally looks like i don't care to everybody else...
so i was wondering if anybody else is going through this or already have been through this before and is this normal for some people not to cry and show emotion or is it because i'm empty inside and have no compassion for others

i would appreciate any opinions and advice that ya'll can give to me
 
yea its normal not to cry, in the past year my cousin died of a stroke he was only 20 and my uncle died because he was in a 'vegtable comma' but i didnt cry and i was pretty close to both of them

btw:
R.I.P. to your cousin
 
Very sorry to hear about your loss.

Everyone has a different method of dealing with grief - that is certain. I mean, you may not physically show it, but that does not mean you do not feel it. There is no need to feel guilty for that. Through deaths in my family, I know that even though you may not cry, the thoughts of grief are always there, and mostly likely they will be in your mind for as long as you live.

I'm sure your family knows you feel the pain, and perhaps you can use your strength to help them through it - offer them a shoulder to cry on, although, I'm sure your presence is support enough. The fact that you have taken the time to ask the question shows to me that you do have compassion, but you underestimate yourself.
 
It's definitely not because you're "empty and have no compassion for others", some people just have different ways of coping with loss. This, it seems, is yours. Don't be too hard on yourself. It may cliche but even so remember this "after every dark night, always comes a brighter day" :thumb:
 
you don't automatically have to cry due to this and especially everyone has grief in their own way not always through tears doesn't make you bad if you don't and doesn't make you pathtic if you do. You just deal in your own way believe me at a funeral to this day I have been to about 7 in my life and I haven't cried at one to this day but inside myself is a different story. Don't be worrying about it.
 
Silleone said:
my condolences man.

Your not empty or incompassionet, your just handling it in a diffrent way, trust me,one day it will all come out one way or another.

The entire post I couldn't have said it better...You will probably collapse later as scary as that might sound but it's normal.
 
i appreciate everybody who took the time to read my post and drop their two cents
i don't know what else to say but thanks a lot

R.I.P to everybody else's friends and family members who died also
 
coming from a war torn country i've had plenty of people die. When someone close to me dies, i cant cry. Ever. But a few years ago i went to visit my family in Bosnia, and when i was leaving i started crying. But when someone in my family dies I dont cry. So it all depends...

sorry to hear about your losses man.
 
I think crying is more of a physical way of dealing with things. Think about it, when you cry, you drop, not thinking really, just drop in sorrow or whatever it is, it might be the bodies natural reaction to avoid shock. I dont know. The hardest part of dealing with a death for me was the mental aspect, and i think that is the hardest part for anyone, crying doesn't help it at all, truthfully i don't see what it does. Recently i loss my friend due to gang violence, it was hard getting over that, i didn't cry though, what it made me think of was trying to cope with my own demise, i cried over that.
 

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