Astray

[KJ13]

Breaking down in tears
through the silent of the night
with memories of us
blending deep into my heart.

I see a dark and lonely future
building up ahead of me.
Wishing to be more than strong,
yet I'm standing all alone.

To all the angels above,
listen to all my prayers
for the freedom of my soul
and for the person that I adore.

Pain, tears and deception-
all the harm that you have done.
Maybe it's just better
for me to be all alone.

 

[keco52]

I like it bcuz it's from the heart but it...flows a lot nicer when you don't try and force it to rhyme...I d.k. it was nice tho.

 

[KJ13]

ye thats tru....i was forcin it to rhyme i didnt feel like sittin there a long time puttin it together

 

[KJ13]

--- Kj13

 

[True Thugz]

Nice lil poem. Thats all I can say really....

Keep writing

 

[kman_69]

nice drop...seems shorter than it is for some reason...

i like it anyways, keep it up!

peace.

 

[Kadafi Son]

Feel ya, Feel ya, Feel ya. Yeah, you was real emotional on this piece. I never saw u on here before. But maybe with some time, you can enhance your already deep skills in poetry. I'm lookin' forward to seein' some more of you

Peace

 

[SiGh]

nice poem, i liked it..i felt like it did come straight from the heart.

keep writing to smooth out the bumps.

 

[The.Menace]

I like it.

 

[ArtsyGirl]

Yeah thats nice, to me the most important part is conveying the emotion and you did that very well here, keep writting and the rest will develop

 

[keco52]

Why did you switcth the poems...You could have just posted another.

 

[~live2tell~]

Heartfelt and honest, thought you did a great job of expressing your feelings, although it's a sad poem it was a pleasure to read (if you know what I mean)

 

[XIAN]

Yeah that's a sad one and it was good and simple. I can feel the heartache. But keep going...
~peace~

 

[Ivory$horty]

Wow...that is an amazing piece. To some it may be classed as simple, the words...the flow. To me, it was perfection. Your hurt was captured within those lines and projected onto those reading it. Reading this brought back so many memories, so many fights I've had with loved ones and the thoughts that filled my brain afterwards. Kind of took my breath away.
I really loved this...it was perfection in the simplest form.
Keep it up.

3 hugz,2 kisses,1 love
~*Ivory$horty*~