A Defeated Success

[Bender]

I like working with opposites and contradictions to kind of obscure a meaning of something, I would say I do it out of the motivation to make people think and try and add to the mystery. Whether it shows I don't know, it makes sense to me. It's about finding success in defeat

Given less only takes more less giving.
Answer is nothing when questioning winning.
It could have been you lost wandering in glee,
I see you have nothing, take it from me.

Bathing in blood, cuts manifesting from wood,
Shaping the way, like the cloth cut out you was good.
Thought made it real, cogs beginning the spin.
I am now after you, before beauty was sin.

Tasting the air I but ponder, eye stare.
Explaining the self should be a task for the heir.
If you don’t know you don’t; thy wisdom fore-gotten.
Hypocritical lessons, preach a wrong impression.

Now death at my door, while I was guarding the gate?
Enough of this life, given ideals are fake.
We ran within time, making way for the seed,
More deeper I find, succumbing to weed.

Enemy wastes on illusion, working their time,
Distinguish this focus. Perceptions sublime.
Covering all angles, keep hold to the test.
Leaving to fathom, upon my defeated success.

 

[kman_69]

haha cool peice....loved the whole opposites thing

"I see you have nothing, take it from me."

^^VERY cool

peace.

 

[~live2tell~]

Definitely a cool piece to read and it certainly gives the reader something to think about. I think you have written this very well, just out of a matter of interest how long did this take you to finish? Thumbs up from me :thumb:


edit: I really liked the last verse.

 

[Missy "C"]

I really enjoyed reading this, I think it's very well writen, and it's an interesting topic to write about, as sarah said, it makes you think. Of course I loved the ending, but this verse caught my attention:

Now death at my door, while I was guarding the gate?
Enough of this life, given ideals are fake.
We ran within time, making way for the seed,
More deeper I find, succumbing to weed.

Very nice :thumb:

 

[Bender]

Thanks for the comments, everyone :thumb: .

... just out of a matter of interest how long did this take you to finish?

I wrote this over two alcohol soaked nights. I had some concepts I wanted to put down on paper (through a poem) and that was the result.

 

[~live2tell~]

Thanks for the comments, everyone :thumb: .




I wrote this over two alcohol soaked nights. I had some concepts I wanted to put down on paper (through a poem) and that was the result.

Thats good going and some great concepts, definitely a result