to me, happiness in life is waking up in the mornings knowing that i (am) have fulfilled all my material and spiritual responsibilities ...and i can just chill and hang out and do whatever....it's a pretty happy feeling.....
there is a certain way i do things....or certain things i like to do...i am happy right now...but stressed out cuz of school...but it's not like it brings me misery..cuz its school man..u gotta go to school if you wanna be educated and rich...
but i am happy in the sense that i got an easy life, i don't live in a third world country, i get food on the table...and im young, i got my health (for the most part)...and a full life ahead of me....
i guess what really brings me happiness...is certain feelings...i have a lot of different levels happiness that i experience that are deeper than others...but on a day to day basis, I'm pretty happy...
i don't think a lot of women or money or being famous would make me feel truly happy cuz whenever i've had at least some fulfillment of my wishes for material things...i still feel like there is not much of a point...like..'why'd i do it?' or 'who gives a fuck...?'
true happyness to me isn't a mystery...i know what i want to be truly happy, not what i think i want.
for me to be truly happy i'd always have to be appreciative of what i have, everything that i have...no matter what goes on in my life...being truly happy is appreciating what u have and being satisfied.
i can appreciate, but i can't be satisfied.....i always wan't more.....but does that mean i can never be truly happy? no...because the other form of true happyness can come in doses in different ways..sometimes through just the pleasure of living through life sometimes just being around people you care about it or things that remind you of good memories. from what i learned, i try and find happyness throughmyself. not through people. me..cuz im the best and im the one..this is my life..everyone is just viewing it..you are all spectators..and this is how each of you should feel...
just waking up in the mornings and thinking...'yeah its another day...but its another day that im going to have a good time doing stuff....'
sure, there is always that heart-felt thought of what could've been if this happened or if that happened...but the more i think about it, the more it scares me because of what already DID happen.....
im happy...but i still feel like im missing something in my life cause im not satisfied....and 99% of my wishes are material, and even if they did come true, i won't be satisfied. it's only that 1% that can satisfy me...
my plan and goals in life are getting through my education in 4 - 5 years time (or atleast by the age of 24 i should have all my education done and stuff together financially). i want to do 4 years of school minimum to earn a diploma and other certifcations and a degree..i plan on doing a music degree..but thats later on..cuz i gotta get my main education done.. thats number one priority. i want to save some money and help my parents buy a house. and then while im living with my parents im going to save money and buy my own house.
i gotta have my own place...its makes me feel like i worked hard for something...a car isnt enough...but when the women that i'm 'supposed to be with' sees me..shes going to see an independent man. im trying to master the skills of life here..which is impossible..but im trying...i just want to be an independent man...but never too independent that i need so much of my space (not myspace lol)...and i forget about my family..cuz i dont want to leave my family just when things get better just for me...i hope God always gives me the strength to support my family and not throw them out to the oldfolks home..fuck that man...i just pray that GOD gives me this strength..my mom used to walk me back and forth to and from pre-school like 15 blocks when i was really young...so its my duty to repay them...and take care of them
but after i move out...im going to have alot of fun up in my place...have ppl over..friends with benifits..ppl..friends.old friends, new friends...who knows.....we'll see
but first i gotta get my school done because if i don't become educated, i'd feel like a loser...life is too short..i gotta get my shit done. enough talk.
