searching for a happiness

[insomnia]

what is happiness in life? why do some people need so few to feel absolutely happy in their lifes and others never seem to be satisfied with what they got? what are those fundamentals that could ensure your happiness?
but not also this.. would you try to reach or build your happiness on the other people's expense? i mean, would u be determined and be ready to harm other people (maybe not in a direct way) so you could reach your happiness in life. there could be so many ways, like cheating at work just to gain credit from your boss, but at the same time losing respect from your coleague, or trying to get a girl who was a bf and they're having hard times at that time, but you could use it as a favor so they could brake up and u could be with her, but at the same time making that guy the most upset in the world. do you believe that the happiness gained in such way would not bring you 100 pct satisfaction and sooner or later you would end up just like in algebra equation, where at both sides of equation has to be parity.
share your thoughts.

 

[keco52]

Ppl who search for happiness will never be happy for long. Maybe temporarily but it will eventually wear off and they'll be searching again. Being happy is something you decide when you wake up. It's a choice.

 

[insomnia]

^^^ yes, but sometimes it's not enough just to set your mind that way. you encounter subjects, things in life where you gotta chose which path to take.

 

[The.Menace]

what is happiness in life? why do some people need so few to feel absolutely happy in their lifes and others never seem to be satisfied with what they got?

I think because happiness has to come from the inside. You can't truley search for it out there. Maybe there is something that touches you in a positiv way and evokes that happiness inside, but you can't find happiness in it's pure form out there.

Besides that, I wouldn't call happiness a choice. Not 100% a choice at least. there is something else.

 

[Sebastian]

Ppl who search for happiness will never be happy for long. Maybe temporarily but it will eventually wear off and they'll be searching again. Being happy is something you decide when you wake up. It's a choice.

What? Happiness is no choice. Well, at least not the way you make it sound to be like.

I dont have a full theory on what happiness is and how to find it. But one thing is for sure: Its a long process! You have to make sure for yourself which values you put first in life and then you have to work on making them become the main part of your life.

 

[insomnia]

You have to make sure for yourself which values you put first in life and then you have to work on making them become the main part of your life.

so if a person feels unhappy at the certain moment of his life, seems like he has lost all his values due to particular circumstances in his life, that made him feel unhappy, then according to you, there's no way that he could start to feel and rediscover happiness again, because his values are degraded, he's lost interest and wish to reach for something more...? looks like a damned rotating circle without exit. what about outer push that would help to understand the true happiness?

 

[Chronic]

Happiness is in part determined by genetics and in part determined by external factors that you often have no control over. The other stuff is "life is what you make it".

 

[keco52]

^^^ yes, but sometimes it's not enough just to set your mind that way. you encounter subjects, things in life where you gotta chose which path to take.

Using your examples...I wouldn't cheat to get ahead but if my moving ahead meant someone else had to move back...I don't have a problem with that.

 

[Sebastian]

so if a person feels unhappy at the certain moment of his life, seems like he has lost all his values due to particular circumstances in his life, that made him feel unhappy, then according to you, there's no way that he could start to feel and rediscover happiness again, because his values are degraded, he's lost interest and wish to reach for something more...? looks like a damned rotating circle without exit. what about outer push that would help to understand the true happiness?

I dont really understand what you say or where your explanation interferes with my comment.

 

[Preach]

like anybody else, occasionally i'll take advantage of someone's guilty conscience or say a white lie to get something i want. to me, the pursuit of happiness is obsolete though. there is no one thing that can make me happy, satisfaction is dependent on expectation. see, you see someone who seem to be happy with their current living situation, although you might think that their current living situation should warrant less happiness. then you can turn around, see someone who's got it all who are unhappy with their lives. the next day, the tables could be turned for these two people. your impression of people's happiness, like you started your post off with, are based on a very small frame of their overall life. they were satisfied with what they had, that day.

happiness is always relative to what you got going on, so the end of that pursuit is realizing that happiness can only come from feeling good about yourself, and feeling good about yourself comes at a cost. if that means fucking someone over, you do that, because it's not your duty as a human being to make sure someone else isn't stupid enough to fall for your tricks. make the right decisions so you don't have a guilty conscience, do good things, do things that you enjoy that make you happy and stop worrying about how other people might judge you for doing it, and happiness sort of tags along.

 

[Preach]

What? Happiness is no choice. Well, at least not the way you make it sound to be like.

I dont have a full theory on what happiness is and how to find it. But one thing is for sure: Its a long process! You have to make sure for yourself which values you put first in life and then you have to work on making them become the main part of your life.

when you're depressed, you don't work to get happiness, you work to shake off the negative emotions. i know how what keco said sounds to someone who's caught up in some emotional shit, but she essentially is right. if you're sad, it's because you care about something.

 

[masta247]

it's irrelevant. No matter how fucked you might be in life you can always feel happiness just because sombody is with you and such. Also everything might be going well, you may have everything and still you'll be unhappy, or one little thing may get you unhappy that looking back was totally unimportant.

Factors that create happiness in my opinion are:
1. our mind subconsciously based on our character
2. mental and physical condition of our organism
3. our own state of mind and thus point of view
4. environment, our priorities and achieving or failing to reach bigger or smaller goals.

+ Also I think that my most happy moments where when I was the most fucked in life, beacuse I didn't care about little matters and every helping hand felt great to me.

 

[insomnia]

yeah, problably happiness is just the state of mind. and the way we're feeling now is just based on what we used to have in our past. if we had more than we have now, than we're not satisfied, feeling kind of unhappy, cause we know we could have or feel more. see, i've created this thread, cause lately i haven't felt anything when socializing with other people, have lost my interest in pretty much everything, except re-discovered my interest in reading books. all those things just don't interest me anymore, my friends - i feel bored when i'm with them, suddenly i feel so remote and don't know why. when i meet new people, who are interesting, charming and earlier in my life would create attraction to me, i feel like i'm watching some kind of movie about a life, which is not mine. basically, i let all the things in my life flow like a river, without any ambitions, hopes, dreams, plans for future.. this situation scares me, cause i don't even want my summer vacation no more, what i was dreaming earlier about and had plans where i could go, what places to visit. that's where this question what is happiness and what the one needs to be happy in this life comes from.

 

[Preach]

<masta's post> (can't be fucked quoting)
^^
That's sort of interesting, my best memories are from when I have had the least worries possible. Like, when I was ultra super happy with everything.

Edit: I read this really cool article in a magazine about the brain and how it works with respects to memory and foresight. For a long time I've been thinking about transcribing and translating the article, because it's really interesting. In short, your memory is a secondary tool needed for your foresight to function properly. You don't remember because memories are important, you remember because you can't try to figure out what's coming up next if you had nothing to base that prediction upon. When you think back on a situation in your previous life and use that as a reference point for your current mental health, you are painting a very inaccurate picture of your own psyche to yourself. Because of this, I really wanted to put up the article to see what people have to say about it. In lieu of this thread I might.

 

[Preach]

yeah, problably happiness is just the state of mind. and the way we're feeling now is just based on what we used to have in our past. if we had more than we have now, than we're not satisfied, feeling kind of unhappy, cause we know we could have or feel more. see, i've created this thread, cause lately i haven't felt anything when socializing with other people, have lost my interest in pretty much everything, except re-discovered my interest in reading books. all those things just don't interest me anymore, my friends - i feel bored when i'm with them, suddenly i feel so remote and don't know why. when i meet new people, who are interesting, charming and earlier in my life would create attraction to me, i feel like i'm watching some kind of movie about a life, which is not mine. basically, i let all the things in my life flow like a river, without any ambitions, hopes, dreams, plans for future.. this situation scares me, cause i don't even want my summer vacation no more, what i was dreaming earlier about and had plans where i could go, what places to visit. that's where this question what is happiness and what the one needs to be happy in this life comes from.

your current situation doesn't immediately make sense though. i think you're on some shit that's beyond forum help. if i knew you and if i knew your life i could maybe say something, but i have no idea why you're feeling this way. it sounds like you have a legitimate problem though, so i would suggest you go see someone. not because you'll self-implode any second now, but because seeing someone could actually improve your situation.

 

[Da_Funk]

Well when I'm searching for happiness I have to look no further than the nearest liquor store

 

[Flipmo]

Happiness is what obtaining the things that are important to you.

For one person it may be riches, fame and fortune. For another, it can be living in a small house in a small town with a loved one.

We each have our own vision of happiness, and yes... I believe it can last forever. The first person that comes to mind for someone who achieved happiness is my grandfather. I'm sure he had regrets, but you're happy when you finally are ready to put your past mistakes behind you and live for the moment. I feel he did that, that's why I've never seen him without a smile. Even when he died in the hospital, he had a smile.

That's all I can say really.

 

[Jokerman]

In America, people tend to look for something outside themselves to bring them happiness. They spend a lot of time and energy to get something to make them feel better inwardly. They strive for a better job, for instance, or a bigger house, or a larger family. People are always saying, “If only I had more money, I wouldn’t have all of these problems.” It’s assumed that the lack of money or things is the cause of their inner discord.

This idea is contrary to experience. When most people are dating, for example, they generally don’t have a lot of money. Still, they’re happy and excited. They’ve got each other, they’ve got passion, and they’ve got boundless energy and joy.

Later on, they often have everything that money can buy—but they’ve lost that happiness. Eventually, they wake up and experience a crisis. Suddenly they’re 30 or 40 or 50, and they have many things, but no happiness. Something is wrong inside. They have feelings of irritation, emptiness, and loneliness. Their lives are not working.

Many people react by doing what they’ve always done. They get new and more possessions, such as fancier cars and computers. Some people replace the people in their lives. They find a new boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife. Others lose themselves in work. Men, in particular, tend to become overly responsible and work longer hours than necessary. Such actions, though, are merely momentary distractions that never address the root cause of the problem.

So people work to maintain or elevate their standard of living. This makes them feel more accepted, and they use this acceptance as a basis for self-esteem. They need someone else’s acknowledgment to make them feel okay. And that’s the way it has to be if you carry around a projection of who you should be based on the expectations of parents, friends, teachers from the past, or even commercial advertisements.

Much of this process is subconscious. People live like robots, accumulating lots of material possessions, achievements, and responsibilities. But if they’re not doing it for themselves, sooner or later they may begin to realize that they have no real life. They’re living in a dream. In the absence of happiness, everything becomes an issue.

There comes a time when you need to wake up. You’ve got to awaken and ask yourself, “Who am I?” Because until you look within, you won’t have the opportunity for lasting happiness and fulfillment.

problably happiness is just the state of mind.

Happiness isn’t a state; it’s a skill. It’s the skill of knowing how to take what life throws your way and make the most of it. It’s the skill of intuiting what you should be doing during your time on the planet, and then making choices so that you can actually be doing it.

Some of those choices may not be popular ones. And ironically, having a lot of possessions may get in the way of your making them. But they’re your choices, your chances at happiness. Make them boldly, and your world will be transformed.

Happiness starts, starts, I say, with health of mind, body, and spirit, and a sense of inner peace. People think it's happiness that leads to those things. Nothing could be further from the truth.

You need to start with the idea of freedom from obligations, of being responsible first to yourself. That gives you the freedom to be. Each day gives you only twenty-four hours. But if you use your energy to change your life, you can make those hours work for you.

 

[Dogmatic187]

Well when I'm searching for happiness I have to look no further than the nearest liquor store

Thank you, and good day sir.... I said good day!!

 

[Kong]

I think its a lot to do with understanding.

Understanding of self, understanding of life, understanding of the world.

The more understanding you have the more free your mind is.

It takes time to understand, people want it now.