come on, guy. you own two vehicles but are falling behind on your debts. sure, you have your own place, but... do you know what happens when a large group of people like you get together in one place? they call it a housing crisis and it ends up crashing the economy. you, buddy, are a little piece of what's wrong with america. good thing you're quarantined in that little pustule on the lower 48's manly parts called coastal florida.
i'm no mystery, though: hi, i'm roaches. i was born and raised outside of washington, d.c., on the virginia side of things. i learned to read when i was three and after about fifteen years of doing that i shipped myself off to new orleans to go to tulane university. i speak english, spanish, and urdu. i also understand punjabi and can read arabic. i worked at the admissions office and studied at various points economics, cell and molecular biology, and math. i only completed the major for one of them, but the learning's what counts. when hurricane katrina hit, i spent a semester at the university of virginia in charlottesville, va. i also took some summer courses at the george washington university in washington, d.c. (these are where the student loans came from - i went to tulane on a scholarship) after i graduated, i worked as a cook near where i lived until the lease on my place expired. since then, i've been doing graduate work at GWU, nominally in economics but my interests have risen an order of magnitude in abstraction towards complexity science, though i've also developed a fetish for informational aesthetics, so the math department might be in my future. then again, i took a practice LSAT the other day and my parents both will not stop talking about the MCAT, so who knows where i'm headed? i like to read recreationally. the last two movies i saw were sin nombre and terminator salvation. my favorite tv shows are the wire and lost. my favorite athletes are penny, lebron, cp3, shaq, ai, dream, jordan, jerry rice, darrell green, clinton portis, art monk, and cal ripken jr. i root for hoyas basketball, the redskins and the wizards. i retain soft spots for the orioles and hokies football. i'm 5'10 on a good day and have an unusual amount of gray hairs on my head and an unusual amount of hair, period, on the rest of my body. i'm kinda scrawny but have broad shoulders and never lost the baby fat in my cheeks. bitches say i have nice eyes and beautiful teeth. i love hip-hop and other sorts of music, too. if i ever have a son, i'd like him to be a quarterback in the sec or a swingman in the big east. i own the last copies of mf doom's debut and kmd's black bastards on wax that subverse records ever had pressed and main source's breaking atoms on tape. my favorite book is cormac mccarthy's blood meridian and the last one i read was paul beatty's slumberland. in my spare time, i sometimes think about writing a novel. i type fast and fuck slow.
also, i'm a son of a bitch who's un-retarded enough to pick up a phone and get his student loans deferred without accruing interest long enough for him to figure out the interesection between what he wants to do in life and getting paid enough to enjoy the material comforts he wants in life, and i get so much pussy my dick perpetually smells like a fish market.
since you know my life story now, inbox me a topless pic and i'll send you back one of my dick.