Okay, so I just got home from a wedding today. I drove down with my two younger brothers and two other friends. Basically, we get there around 1pm on Saturday and we buy beer and start drinking. The wedding was from 330-4 (it was great, my first time in a Methodist church, I'm used to the Catholic weddings that take forever) then we went to the hotel and drank from 4-5 and then hit up the reception which included an open bar from 5-10
So I started drinking and I was pretty much drunk by 7 o'clock. Now me and my friends are looking for girls our age because, you know, it's a wedding and we're all single. So my friend Keith starts dancing with this one girl and my friend Nick starts hitting on this other chick. Me and my two brothers didn't get any action, unfortunately.
So, ten pm rolls around and we're all fucking loaded and there's an announcement that the whole wedding party will be going to a bar. So we get a ride back to the hotel, change into normal clothes (I'd been in a shirt and tie since 8am and I absolutely hate dressing up) and we hit up the bar scene. Now, here's where it gets interesting. My friend Nick is all up on this one chick and my friend Keith is all up on this other chick and I'm just chilling at the bar with my brothers. Keith gets up to use the bathroom or some shit and the girl he was macking on (who hasn't met me yet so we're perfect strangers) comes over to me and she's like, what do you think you're doing? Are you really a pub champion? So I'm looking at her like what the fuck are you talking about? First of all, I'm hammered off my ass and she doesn't even know me and why the fuck are you talking about pub champions? So she's like, that shirt you have on. So, I'm like oh okay, now I at least know what she's referring to.
So I'm going to describe this t-shirt so you guys have an idea of what went on. It's a green shirt that says PUB CHAMPION and then below it, GUINNESS (1759) Official Member Dublin, Ireland. Ok? I'm sure people have seen these shirts, they're all over the place. I got it as a gift a few months ago. So she just starts ripping into me and I'm still in shock that this is even going on. I mean, I'm getting yelled at for wearing a t-shirt. She's like I've been to Dublin, have you? So I'm like no, why the fuck would I go to Dublin? She's like, well I've been there and you haven't so you have no right to be wearing that. I'm like laughing about this, not really too mad. I'm not a loud drunk that gets in fights and shit, I just mellow out. So I'm like, are you serious right now? This argument must have gone on for an hour. So at first I was wondering if maybe this was her unorthodox way of hitting on me or some shit and just trying to make conversation but I soon realized that she was just a complete fucking psycho. I'm like, what do you want me to do, take it off? Walk around the bar half naked? She's like I'll give you five dollars for that shirt. So i'm like, ummm let me see here. I thought you didn't like the shirt? Second of all, I can keep drinking here or take off the shirt and have an extra five dollars and have to go to my hotel. Not really a brain teaser is it? So I tell her that and she just rolls her eyes. So I'm getting aggravated and I say, yeah, whatever........you hyena. (lol it's a line from Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers) and it just popped out. So she spins around at me and she's like what did you say? And I was like uh, well i said that you're a nice person. You know, you're very friendly and non-judgmental. You obviously have some great people skills. I mean hey, you walked right up to me and started a conversation and I think we've really clicked....you know just being a smartass. So she finds none of this funny. she screams at me, YOU'RE A LIAR! YOU'RE FAKE! I'm like what? Yes, I know I'm lying. I know that you heard me call you a hyena. Are you familiar with sarcasm? I don't know if they have that in Dublin where you've spent the last year but here in America we like to incorporate some humor into our daily lives. Again, she didn't find this at all funny.
So an hour later Keith comes back over (he had been talking with some other friends) and we just stop talking. Now I wake up this morning because Keith and Nick came into our hotel room (they had been gone all night) so i asked them what happened and it turns out that Keith fucked Dublin girl and I thought that Nick had fucked the girl he'd been hitting on but it turns out that he just fooled around with her all night and she wouldnt' let him have sex with her for some unknown reason. Apparently she said something like, wanna fuck me in the bathroom? And then he was like yes and she said, a little later and then nothing ever happened. LOL but he did make the mistake of telling us that he told her "i want to be inside you" at the hotel when they were fooling around. So, you know, we've been making fun of him all fucking day because that's probably the most retarded thing i've ever heard. She's probably on her cell right now telling her friend all about it: um, well i was gonna fuck this guy but then he went and muttered, i wanna be inside you. lol.
so yeah, in a nutshell it was a great time. i think i might be still drunk from last night. however, that argument about my shirt just blows my mind. I don't know how I'm going to even wear it now because i'm gonna think of that bitch every time i see it.
oh yeah. i just realized this is kind of long. lol very preach-like
So I started drinking and I was pretty much drunk by 7 o'clock. Now me and my friends are looking for girls our age because, you know, it's a wedding and we're all single. So my friend Keith starts dancing with this one girl and my friend Nick starts hitting on this other chick. Me and my two brothers didn't get any action, unfortunately. So, ten pm rolls around and we're all fucking loaded and there's an announcement that the whole wedding party will be going to a bar. So we get a ride back to the hotel, change into normal clothes (I'd been in a shirt and tie since 8am and I absolutely hate dressing up) and we hit up the bar scene. Now, here's where it gets interesting. My friend Nick is all up on this one chick and my friend Keith is all up on this other chick and I'm just chilling at the bar with my brothers. Keith gets up to use the bathroom or some shit and the girl he was macking on (who hasn't met me yet so we're perfect strangers) comes over to me and she's like, what do you think you're doing? Are you really a pub champion? So I'm looking at her like what the fuck are you talking about? First of all, I'm hammered off my ass and she doesn't even know me and why the fuck are you talking about pub champions? So she's like, that shirt you have on. So, I'm like oh okay, now I at least know what she's referring to.
So I'm going to describe this t-shirt so you guys have an idea of what went on. It's a green shirt that says PUB CHAMPION and then below it, GUINNESS (1759) Official Member Dublin, Ireland. Ok? I'm sure people have seen these shirts, they're all over the place. I got it as a gift a few months ago. So she just starts ripping into me and I'm still in shock that this is even going on. I mean, I'm getting yelled at for wearing a t-shirt. She's like I've been to Dublin, have you? So I'm like no, why the fuck would I go to Dublin? She's like, well I've been there and you haven't so you have no right to be wearing that. I'm like laughing about this, not really too mad. I'm not a loud drunk that gets in fights and shit, I just mellow out. So I'm like, are you serious right now? This argument must have gone on for an hour. So at first I was wondering if maybe this was her unorthodox way of hitting on me or some shit and just trying to make conversation but I soon realized that she was just a complete fucking psycho. I'm like, what do you want me to do, take it off? Walk around the bar half naked? She's like I'll give you five dollars for that shirt. So i'm like, ummm let me see here. I thought you didn't like the shirt? Second of all, I can keep drinking here or take off the shirt and have an extra five dollars and have to go to my hotel. Not really a brain teaser is it? So I tell her that and she just rolls her eyes. So I'm getting aggravated and I say, yeah, whatever........you hyena. (lol it's a line from Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers) and it just popped out. So she spins around at me and she's like what did you say? And I was like uh, well i said that you're a nice person. You know, you're very friendly and non-judgmental. You obviously have some great people skills. I mean hey, you walked right up to me and started a conversation and I think we've really clicked....you know just being a smartass. So she finds none of this funny. she screams at me, YOU'RE A LIAR! YOU'RE FAKE! I'm like what? Yes, I know I'm lying. I know that you heard me call you a hyena. Are you familiar with sarcasm? I don't know if they have that in Dublin where you've spent the last year but here in America we like to incorporate some humor into our daily lives. Again, she didn't find this at all funny.
So an hour later Keith comes back over (he had been talking with some other friends) and we just stop talking. Now I wake up this morning because Keith and Nick came into our hotel room (they had been gone all night) so i asked them what happened and it turns out that Keith fucked Dublin girl and I thought that Nick had fucked the girl he'd been hitting on but it turns out that he just fooled around with her all night and she wouldnt' let him have sex with her for some unknown reason. Apparently she said something like, wanna fuck me in the bathroom? And then he was like yes and she said, a little later and then nothing ever happened. LOL but he did make the mistake of telling us that he told her "i want to be inside you" at the hotel when they were fooling around. So, you know, we've been making fun of him all fucking day because that's probably the most retarded thing i've ever heard. She's probably on her cell right now telling her friend all about it: um, well i was gonna fuck this guy but then he went and muttered, i wanna be inside you. lol.
so yeah, in a nutshell it was a great time. i think i might be still drunk from last night. however, that argument about my shirt just blows my mind. I don't know how I'm going to even wear it now because i'm gonna think of that bitch every time i see it.
oh yeah. i just realized this is kind of long. lol very preach-like
