As many are aware, the French government recently
announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run"
to "Hide." The normal level is "General Arrogance,"
and the only two higher levels in France are
"Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's
white flag factory, effectively paralysing the
country's military capability.
It's not only the French that are on a heightened
level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level
from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate
military posturing." Two more levels remain,
"Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from
"Disdain" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching
songs." They have two higher levels: "Invade a
neighbour" and "Lose."
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the
Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find
another oil-rich nation for regime change." Their
remaining higher alert states are "Attack random
countries (ideally those without any credible
military)" and "Beg the British for help."
The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to
recent bombings and have raised their security level
from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security
levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even
"A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross"
since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran
out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
"Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the Great Fire of 1666
announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run"
to "Hide." The normal level is "General Arrogance,"
and the only two higher levels in France are
"Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's
white flag factory, effectively paralysing the
country's military capability.
It's not only the French that are on a heightened
level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level
from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate
military posturing." Two more levels remain,
"Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from
"Disdain" to "Dress in uniform and sing marching
songs." They have two higher levels: "Invade a
neighbour" and "Lose."
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the
Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find
another oil-rich nation for regime change." Their
remaining higher alert states are "Attack random
countries (ideally those without any credible
military)" and "Beg the British for help."
The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to
recent bombings and have raised their security level
from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security
levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even
"A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross"
since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran
out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
"Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the Great Fire of 1666
