religion and race

[shattered dreams]

how did this world go astray,
to become what it is today,
so much has changed
but judging has remained

whipped to the bone
death by stone
being burnt alive
Religion and Race cries

judgments are made
hearts start to fade
our society decays
with each passing day

minds are closed
truth left unexposed
there are few who truly care
but unfortunately they are rare

care about the person inside
they are the ones left wondering why
people still get denied of life and friends
left wondering, when prejudice will end

silent wars go on in so many minds
for the fact this remains, even in these times
there is only one thing in society that is fictious
that’s everyone who all though preys, is religious

people who read and study the bible
are living a life full of denial
many people i have seen
say they are with christ, but still judge human being

to all those people im asking you this
in the bible is there a part i must of missed?
i thought it was about EVERYONE being family
so how did so many minds, end up decaying

true, everyone has talked bad about a race at one time
but realizing it was wrong, is what sets apart the minds
and in this world, their are truly few who are strong
they are the ones who stand up and say, prejudice no matter what is wrong

no one should be forced to feel bad about themselves
because, of their race religion, weight, height or even wealth
if everyone bled, even the ones we hate
all of us would realize and find, the same thing escapes

red blood, nothing changed because of people not being the same
so answer me: if everyone’s the same how is it judging remains?

 

[Sebastian]

content wise, of course, very nice and true. ending the poem with a question is also a good idea..,personally i dont like changing the metrum (?) throughout a poem...anyway, :thumb: up for the poem

 

[~live2tell~]

^ I agree, I think it needs some work structure wise but content was really good, you didn't over complicate and it was simple and easy to understand your message. It's just structurally lacking IMO.

 

[shattered dreams]

i know which is why i seperated it, to make it kind of easier to flow and read. Because you all know i usually just keep it in the same verse most of the time.

 

[Belo]

Interesting poem.. and you make some good points too
I agree with what ppl say about the lines.. but to be honest didn't notice it so much while reading because they changed gradually.. different is good anyway
Keep it up
PEace
Belo

 

[jm5471]

care about the person inside
they are the ones left wondering why
people still get denied of life and friends
left wondering, when prejudice will end

silent wars go on in so many minds
for the fact this remains, even in these times
there is only one thing in society that is fictious
that’s everyone who all though preys, is religious

people who read and study the bible
are living a life full of denial
many people i have seen
say they are with christ, but still judge human being



i loved those lines and the concept that u used, i wrote something similar a while back and i kno where ur comin from wit this good writing

 

[Cown]

I really enjoyed reading this peace, the flow was perfect and the messege hit the spot, definatly a nice piece of writting :thumb:

 

[Buck_Buck_Bing]

This was great, keep up the good work