Rate This Poem For A Beginner

[THEV1LL4N]

My friend needs some help and feedback from people so that he knows what he is doing right and wrong. He is not very experienced at writing poems. Keep in mind that he takes around 3-5 mins to write them.
He writes them from the top of his head and doesnt put too much thought in actually writing it (i think he means as in sylables and rhyming and perhaps metaphors etc... keeps it simple i think). Thats about it i think. Enjoy.


Poem Title: Sunshine In My Life


You found a way into my heart,

For what its worth I hope we never split apart,

Through the rainy days and skies with dull greys,

You have been by my side and shone your light on me,

Through good times and the bad,

You've given me strength to do my best,

My angel, my sweetheart, my beautiful sunshine,

You will always be my prime.

 

[The.Menace]

rules.

 

[THEV1LL4N]

i would appreciate it if i could get some feedback. please could someone vote, and give me some written feedback?

There hasnt been much feedback for my friend. he doesnt have the internet, and this is a place i thought might be ideal to get some feedback from.

thank you.

p.s. he is really counting on me.

Thank You All Once Again

 

[Sebastian]

(i think he means as in sylables and rhyming and perhaps metaphors etc... keeps it simple i think)

In my opinion he should try to focus on it a bit more. It sounds nice, but without a rhyming scheme and the correct amount of syllables the poem itself cant be more than ok.

I would give a 4.

 

[THEV1LL4N]

i think it rhymes, then stops rhyming, then rhymes at the end again. maybe syllables needs improvement. and i think perhaps in order 2 do this, he might need to rephrase some sentences or words.

 

[THEV1LL4N]

according to each line, the syllables go:

7, 12, 9, 12, 6, 9, 12, 7

 

[Tha_Wood]

yeh its prrety good for a first timer i think, although i am pretty new to it aswell

 

[KJ1]

beginner like me..... yeah its not bad but im not good with judging these things..... but seemed good to me