Post your favorite Family Guy quotes.
- Thread starter Casey
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Little Skittle
Well-Known Member
Lois: Peter, your acting like a child!
Peter: Well Lois, if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I sit here and get lectured by some pervert!
Also the quote by Noah when he's talking to the elephant, but I don't remember the exact quote and it's kinda long.
Peter: Well Lois, if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I sit here and get lectured by some pervert!
Also the quote by Noah when he's talking to the elephant, but I don't remember the exact quote and it's kinda long.
I don't remember them verbatim... sorry 
Peter: I have to help Meg, it's my duty!
Hehehehehe, I said doodie
But no time to laugh about that now!
Oh yeah, and when Mayor West stabs the water and says "you won't hurt anyone else" lmao!!
Peter: I have to help Meg, it's my duty!
Hehehehehe, I said doodie
But no time to laugh about that now!
Oh yeah, and when Mayor West stabs the water and says "you won't hurt anyone else" lmao!!
lmao, i love these;
Lois Griffin: You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.
Peter Griffin: Uh, what could me and you do together?
[Lois giggles]
Peter Griffin: Lois. You've got a sick mind.
Lois Griffin: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter Griffin: Oh. I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
Glen Quagmire: [while on a raft made out of blow-up dolls] Careful guys, even the slightest prick will pop these things. Gigity.
Lois Griffin: Peter, did you take care of that...
Peter Griffin: What? Oh, my growth! Yeah, I had the doctor looking at it.
Doctor: Mr. Griffin, that isn't your growth, that's your penis.
Peter Griffin: What about the...
Doctor: Testicles.
Stewie Griffin: [talking to very old prostitute] So, is there any tread on the tires, or is it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
Olivia: You *are* the weakest link. Goodbye.
Stewie Griffin: Aha ha ha. Oh, gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And yet, you have taken that and used it out of context, to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. Mmm, that's so fresh too. Any titanic jokes you want to throw at me while we're hitting these at the height of their popularity? Hmm? Cause... I'm here. God you're SO funny.
Peter Griffin: Oh, okay, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. Now, a homicidal maniac tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let 'im kill?
Brian Griffin: That's, that's not a riddle. That's, that's just terrible.
Peter Griffin: Wrong! It's the ugly one.
Quagmire: Oh, Lois, I'd do everything to you.
Lois: What?
Quagmire: I'd do anything for you.
Lois Griffin: You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.
Peter Griffin: Uh, what could me and you do together?
[Lois giggles]
Peter Griffin: Lois. You've got a sick mind.
Lois Griffin: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter Griffin: Oh. I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
Glen Quagmire: [while on a raft made out of blow-up dolls] Careful guys, even the slightest prick will pop these things. Gigity.
Lois Griffin: Peter, did you take care of that...
Peter Griffin: What? Oh, my growth! Yeah, I had the doctor looking at it.
Doctor: Mr. Griffin, that isn't your growth, that's your penis.
Peter Griffin: What about the...
Doctor: Testicles.
Stewie Griffin: [talking to very old prostitute] So, is there any tread on the tires, or is it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
Olivia: You *are* the weakest link. Goodbye.
Stewie Griffin: Aha ha ha. Oh, gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And yet, you have taken that and used it out of context, to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. Mmm, that's so fresh too. Any titanic jokes you want to throw at me while we're hitting these at the height of their popularity? Hmm? Cause... I'm here. God you're SO funny.
Peter Griffin: Oh, okay, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. Now, a homicidal maniac tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let 'im kill?
Brian Griffin: That's, that's not a riddle. That's, that's just terrible.
Peter Griffin: Wrong! It's the ugly one.
Quagmire: Oh, Lois, I'd do everything to you.
Lois: What?
Quagmire: I'd do anything for you.
Peter: Wow, this is even more intense than that time I forgot how to sit down. (Frame of Peter jumping against and over a chair, lawl)
illmatic posted a few of my favorite ones.
illmatic posted a few of my favorite ones.
hahaha well my pitch is pretty low and I can do the walk.....that made me LOL so bad' that part of the made for TV movie
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