Politics: Explained

dilla

Trumpfan17 aka Coonie aka Dilla aka Tennis Dog
Jun 9, 2010
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FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
 
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Wait, that's how Socialism works. Plus you have to pay taxes for those cows, taxes when the government takes them, taxes for taking care of them and taxes for the milk you buy. If you're willing to do anything with that milk then you have to pay taxes as well. You're left with scarce amounts of milk so you'll have to seek government's aid to get a piece of that milk that was stolen from you in the first place, which you probably won't get because you have too much milk according to some regulations.

And then the government gives some of that milk that you produced to those who are lazy bums and don't take care of any cows.

The government and administration swim with milk that ferments so they need more and more all the time. Nobody wants cows anymore. They become extinct. No milk.

Actually now it's spot on :P
 
Milk is evil, though. So. How does that factor in?
 

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