Blonde jokes

[Luv4Pac4Ever]

No offence to any blondes that may be on here, it's all in good humor.



The Sheriff in a small Texas town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"
The Cowboy says "Well it's like this Sheriff. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her so I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and
says, "Now go to town cowboy... "
And here I am.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.

Q: Why is a blonde like a hardware store?
A: They are both 10¢ a screw!

Q: What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme!

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

I got these from http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp.
Feel free to add more if you want.

 

[Emma]

lol nice :thumb:

 

[Luv4Pac4Ever]

Upon hearing that taking milk baths would make her beautiful, a
blonde lady left a note to her milkman to leave 15 gallons of
milk.
When the milkman read the note he felt that it must be a mistake
because nobody orders that much milk. He thought that she
probably meant 1.5 gallons, and knocked on the door to clarify
the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said; "I found your
note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"
"No," the blonde replied "I want 15 gallons as I'm going to fill
my bathtub and take a milk bath."
The milkman then asked, "Pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my breasts."

There's this vantriloquist act in a bar and his entire routine
is all about stupid blondes. Later on in the night this blonde
lady stands up,in the back, and she says, "Excuse me, but
growing up I had to deal with a lot of jokes directed at me just
because I had blonde hair, it did't make it easy or me to
complete school, and I find your act insulting and
innapropriate!" so the man replies, "Sorry lady were just doing
it for a few laughs..." she interupts him "YOU STAY OUT OF THIS
I'M TALKING TO THE LITTLE GUY ON YOUR LAP!!!!"

A blonde decided she needed to earn some money so she decided
to go and ask people if they had any jobs that needed doing. She
knocked on the first and a man opened the door "Excuse me sir I
was wondering if you had any jobs that needed doing?"
"Yes I do actually I need my porch painting, how much will you
charge?"
The blonde had a look around and said "$20"
"Great!" The man replies.
The man gives the blonde paint and a brush and goes back into
the house. Twenty minutes later the blonde knocks on the door
and says she has finished. The man amazed by her speed gives
her the money and thanks her, just before she leaves the blonde
says "Oh by the way its not a Porche, its a Ferrari!"

Three blondes were walking in the forest when they stumble upon
some tracks. So, the first one says "There deer tracks", the
second one says "She's wrong they are bear tracks", the third
one says "No, they are elk tracks" then they got hit by the
train.

A blond and her boyfriend where driving a car all of a sudden
the car went off the road and crashed into a tree. The blond
flew out the window and as she went, the glass tore up all her
clothes and left her naked on the grass, but unharmed. The
boyfriend was badly hurt so he said “Go to the gas station we
just passed 2 miles back and ask for help” She replied “But I’m
naked” “There’s a shoe to cover your pussy and go” he said. So
she did it and ran back to the gas station. When she got there
she called for help. “Help, help my boyfriend needs help!” she
said. The station manger can out and took one look at the shoe
and said “Sorry I don’t think we can help he’s too far in”

A blonde named Anna had a near death experience the other day
when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until
the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all
her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could
not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When
this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head
continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even
slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing
consciousness, the Wal-Mart employee came by and unplugged it.

 

[imported_MAKaveli_10]

lol those are funny jokes.

 

[Pacaveli-T]

i got a simple one....

Crayola came out with a new color its called blondie, it isn't too bright but it spreads easily....

 

[CalcuoCuchicheo]

lol, they're all pretty good.

 

[devils_advok8]

You're brunette, arent you?

 

[Luv4Pac4Ever]

You're brunette, arent you?

Naturally, yes, but right now I'm a redhead.