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anybody else insanely bored??

I

ill-matic

Well-Known Member
May 4, 2005
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fuck, i sit on this damned site until the wee hours of the morning, and on the net in general, doing absolutely fucking nothing. and then that realisation hits me like a tidal wave of farts that im completely wasting my time and waiting for something to break my constant routine of boredom.

what the fuck is oging on? this isn't a crack @ the board.. not one of those "this place is fucking boring" things. this is more of a reflection of my life. after school finished two years ago i had a massive zest for life and i was massively enthusiastic for what laid ahead. all my attention that year was focussed on the university entrance exams, and i felt i could put my social life on hold so i could do well and end up doing what i thought i wanted to do.

so then comes university, but the difference is i expect it.. or visualised it to be some sort of massive piss up drawing parallels to a Bang Bros porno. but it was like a bomb shell dropped, like some fat dude accidently falling on you and you end up suffocating because of their supple flesh, because i was thrown back into that same, monotonous routine of study study study.

but what the fuck, im doing this degree in economics and marketing, but that spark has gone. that spark for learning has gone. im so bored during these lectures that my mind easily wonders away and i start thinking baout having sex with the girl in front of me. dont get me wrong, i want to do the degree. atleast i think. or i thought i did. i dont know anymore. im confused. i performed shitty in my exams over the last couple of weeks.. and usually when i know ive done shit my minds a mess - i feel guilty and sad and disappointed.. but right now i just dont give a fuck. why is it like this? why am i not caring?

maybe the degree isn't right for me. i dont know. people say to me "man you needa choose what you're passionate about!!". this advice is good, but no thankyou captain obvious this isnt ground breaking advice. the problem is i dont know what else there would be to do. im interested in business shit, but this economics is so fucking hardcore that im always questioning what the fuck ill need it for. im never gonna be applying half that shit to anything i do. this crazy french tutor i had was telling me how the shit you do doenst mean crap in the real world, and that your degree is just used to signal to employers if you would be a good worker or someshit.

i dont know what else to do. people say "weigh up your options". waht the fuck are my options? i dont know. journalism? ok if i change to that and i dont like it, then what?

maybe it's because of the monotonous study routine of uni. it's so full on for me and so hectic. the problem is i dont have that spark, that enthusiasm to pick up the book and read all that shit, and take notes, and revise bla bla. it can be manageable.. i mean, fuck, thousands of other people do this shit, so why cant i?

but it just seems to interfere with everything in my life to the point where it's depressing me. people say "youi gotta balance that shit man!!" but im like THATS TRUE, BUT, it's not so simple. if im going out i FEEL like i shouldnt because i should be studying, hence it leads me to backing out of certain gatherings with my friends. i dont even do any study anyway, i just sit @ home but it's just that psychological thing. like i shouldnt be out enjoying myself when i have studies to do. this ufcking irritates me. im TIRED of having this study burden on my shoulders. it's dictating what i do in my fucking life. everything revolves around it. all my decisions revolve around "jave you done your studies". what the fuck is that? that's no way to live a fruitful life.

it shits me because im young and i want to enjoy myself . i hear friends of mine who have a smaller work load (doing things like a trade etc plumbing) and dont need to study much, and theyre all out doing all sorts of crazy shit. then i get all depressed cos i think im wasting my young years stuck in a prison of study study study. what the fuck is that? people can then say "well why dont you do a trade phil???" . i dont know. i can. but i feel this sense of obligation and protection over my family that i feel i will be the financial backbone for when my parents get older. i even have an older brother who has his career set up in compouters, but i still feel that i want to look after them if anything happens, and having a job as a cabinet maker or some shit just wont cut it in that respect. know what i mean? like i wanna be a supportive person. i want my own family to be financially secure and never have to struggle or be embarrassed about lack of money.

so is that why im doing the degree? possibly. like i said i wanna do it, but maybe not now? is this what im trying to get at? i dont even know. im just bored with everyting. i think i go to bed so late every night because subconsciously i feel like i HAVE to do something to have that feeling like ive done something constructive before going to sleep. i do nothing.

ive had so many dreams and ideas and plans for things. i wanted to start salsa dancing (dont hate .. i LOVe the rhythm and the zest and the passion behind it0 , i wanted to learn piano, i wanted to learn arabic so i can FINALLY speak to my relatives for the first time in FIFTEEN years. SO many things. and ive done fuck all. but people say "ohh you have all your future to do that!!!"

will i? i dont know. i dont think so. i bet my fucking balls that as soon as i finish my degree ill be looking for that "full time , 9 to 5 job". and there you have it. work for 50 or so years then ill be retired. get the fuck out of here.

i dont know what to do right now. like i fucked up my exams so heavily and i just dont care. if i repeat, then i repeat, so be it. but im thinking if thats my attitude right now then why the fuck bother? why the fuck bother going back if this is how im gonna treat it? should i take time off? but if i take time off it'll prolongue my degree so ill be there longer. and if i change degrees then ill pretty much ave to start from scratch so again ill be there longer, stuck in that monotonous bullshit.

i feel like running away, and just going.


fuck, this is the longest post i have ever made and ever will make probably. my wrist now fucking hurts. im declaring a jihad on my keyboard cos of that. fuck.

someone hand me a kleenex. i dont know what to do.
 
Take things slow man. Rome wasn't built in a day. First thing is first - finish your education so you can get that out of the way and enjoy yourself... because if you have a good education, you have a higher chance of getting a good career, which means an even higher chance for all your material wishes to come true.

You don't have to do a degree, you can do a diploma and still be educated. Education isn't a book warming, and you might not even know what you are interested in right away, but don't put too much pressure on yourself because the right answer will come to you.

Sometimes its these smaller institutions and smaller courses that people miss out on.

Don't run away, that won't solve any of your problems. I think you should try your best not to overload yourself and try to keep a good balance between your education and your personal life.

Hurry up and finish your school if you want to make money man. If you get your school out of the way it's like you just have freed yourself from a big burden from your shoulders, plus, once you do finish that, you can focus on other things like your personal life...



Edit: I think you should go for a diploma, then when you feel ready to finish the degree, you can do so. Just take your time and take small steps (not too small tho cause you won't get anywhere).


EDIT2: OH YA....if you think your going to regret not doing the degree, i suggest you do it now because when your older you wont feel like doing it as much. and dont worry about what your friends do and if they are having a good time or what they are up to or none of that....look at the big picture and in the long run you will be more safer, finish ur school and get that shit out of the way...if u want to live comfortably then you will have to sacrifice your time, dont let things discourage you. when one door closes, another one opens so you shouldnt worry too much. everything happends for a good reason. and dont forget to keep your faith in GOD.
 
ill-matic said:
fuck, this is the longest post i have ever made and ever will make probably. my wrist now fucking hurts. im declaring a jihad on my keyboard cos of that. fuck.

someone hand me a kleenex. i dont know what to do.
Click to expand...

Haha, this last part made it worth reading the shit before.

But yeah, im insanely bored too. Not because of uni though.
 
I am bored as well.I finished my final year in college.I worked hard all year so i was always occupied with college work.I did very well in my exams but i have been off for the past month.Im looking for a job.Its nice to have 2 or 3 weeks off after college to do nothing but im just bored now.
 
I think journalism would actually suit you tons better than the strict corporate world you'd most likely would end up in with your study direction. You're a decent writer.
 
Duke said:
I think journalism would actually suit you tons better than the strict corporate world you'd most likely would end up in with your study direction. You're a decent writer.
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Um you’re going to have to run that past SOFI since he knows journalism better than our journalists on this site.

pz
 
will i? i dont know. i dont think so. i bet my fucking balls that as soon as i finish my degree ill be looking for that "full time , 9 to 5 job". and there you have it. work for 50 or so years then ill be retired. get the fuck out of here.
Click to expand...

yeah I really understand you... I hate studying and I hate university...

The conclusion that I came up with...it's the last step before the 50 years of monotonous work from 9 to 5 and that crap. I am not made for that. I dont want to live like that. Work my ass off for 50 years so I can retire just like the grand pa infront of me did...

My conclusion : I don't want to grow up.
 
I've went through the EXACT same thing you're going through, right up to wanting to learn the piano (but fuck arabic and salsa).

First thing you have to do is stop thinking about it too much. When you think about how going to class is so boring, it becomes boring. Just see it as routine, something to do. Act like a brainless sheep when it comes to studying. By that, I mean don't think about it too much and take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Also, have something to look forward to. Tell yourself, "Okay, after I study for two hours, I will go have coffee with a girl I like." Something along those lines.

Don't switch up the major and don't think about quitting school because that's just a temporary thing you're going through. Some people, like Rahim and SicC, weren't born for higher education. You were. I can tell.
 
S O F I said:
I've went through the EXACT same thing you're going through, right up to wanting to learn the piano (but fuck arabic and salsa).

First thing you have to do is stop thinking about it too much. When you think about how going to class is so boring, it becomes boring. Just see it as routine, something to do. Act like a brainless sheep when it comes to studying. By that, I mean don't think about it too much and take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Also, have something to look forward to. Tell yourself, "Okay, after I study for two hours, I will go have coffee with a girl I like." Something along those lines.

Don't switch up the major and don't think about quitting school because that's just a temporary thing you're going through. Some people, like Rahim and SicC, weren't born for higher education. You were. I can tell.
Click to expand...

For someone who can "tell" so much about people your not very good at it kid. Problem is you really can't tell you just ASSume.

F.Y.I.. I graduated from UNI in 2002.

pz
 
So, you’re not sure what you’re going to need the economics for. First, you never know what you’re going to need something for, and second, if you can’t learn it for it’s own sake, don’t bother with it. I find that once I really get into something and focus on it, it starts to become interesting. It becomes what I want to do for it’s own sake, not because it will get me something else, like a degree.

You’re worried about not being a provider for your family. I suggest you entertain the idea that you and your family can become co-providers and work together. You need to work on your life, not just be concerned with income. Don’t limit yourself with expectations, not even your own.

I've written so much here and in a serious way because I can tell how serious your post was, and I know where you’re at.

It sounds like you’ve reached a dead end. Good. That’s the best time to start over, to change those unproductive patterns of behavior. Don’t cling to them your whole life. How many people do you know who are really fulfilled with their lives? Very few. But most people compromise their potential for fulfillment because of self-imposed limitations.

I believe we don’t have to make that kind of compromise—not if we empower ourselves, each day, with the strength to renew our search. Business wasn’t your passion or it would still be. It was just somewhat interesting and what you thought you should do to be a good provider, or whatever else your conditioning told you. Now you’re filled with doubt and uncertainty. Fear, even.

The moment you entertain fear and doubt, you don’t try something new. Doubting can be avoided when you let your intuition guide you. I base every major life decision on intuition. Everyone has intuition, but most people in our objectivity-oriented society need to pay more attention to it. When you’re involved in a relationship, you know when someone is about to undermine you. You feel it. You know where you fit in. You travel to a country or a town and you just feel right being there. You also know when you don’t feel right in a specific place. You know when you’re with someone if you feel comfortable or not.

Learn to trust your intuition. Let it be your guide. Pay attention to it and use it. It’s an important asset. Once you know what is right for you and act on it, you erase doubts and fears. Then you can go after what you want in life.

If you feel bored or empty, it’s because you’re not allowing in all the wonderful things that can fill your life. Don’t allow a moment of your life to be empty. Put joy into each second. You can do this because you have choices. You can choose to spend a moment thinking, I’m not with someone, I’m alone. I’m lonely. Or you can think, I’m going to use this alone time to meditate, to reflect, to work on myself. Then you never have emptiness in your life, and are never bored.

No one who is excited by his or her own capacity is ever bored. How in the world can anyone be bored with the incredible world we have and all the incredible people we have in it? There are great places everywhere and amazing things being done by people every day. There’s no way you can be bored once you engage in life. You can’t engage in one billionth of what’s out there to do. Anyone who is bored is saying, in effect, I’m closing myself off to life. Open yourself up.

Hizzle’s answer of not growing up is more right than he knows. I believe that in every human being there is a child, that this child is the most beautiful part of the person’s nature. Staying in touch with that part of your nature allows you to be vulnerable and grow. Unfortunately, most people learn to tame that part of themselves. First, your parents tell you to grow up and act your age. Then your teachers make you sit still and be quiet and obedient. You start to feel guilty and learn to follow their rules and expectations.

To start over in a healthy way, get in touch with the child buried inside. Allow the rebirth of that child. Every day find one new quality of childhood and manifest that trait all day. Let it come out at school or work, during play, and in your relationships. Keep using it. Bring it to the fore.

As children, we were innocent about everything. As we advance through life, though, we lose touch with our innocence. We abuse truth again and again, and in time become jaded. We believe the only way of communicating is through deception or half-truths. We let our real needs and feelings be neglected because we don’t admit to them.

At this point we need more than ever to recreate the part of childhood that embodies innocence. We need to recall how we once acknowledged the wonder of learning, and how every single discovery was an exhilarating experience that redefined us and our environment. We need to appreciate people for who they are and not judge them by what society and our perceived notions tell us to think.

By allowing the innocence of our childlike aspect to manifest itself, we are renewing our lives. We can have a fresh perspective once we clean the slate and allow each day to be brand new. Innocence is the quality at the heart of forgiveness and human growth.

Children have amazing curiosity. They find that everything is worth exploring. Life is a puzzle that they are actively trying to solve. They want to explore for the sake of exploring, they’re not looking for some reward. They will taste things without knowing whether or not they will like them. They have the curiosity to try.

Curiosity allows people to grow. Without curiosity they repeat fixed patterns of behavior and every day becomes the same. I’ve always wondered how people could not be curious about things like ballet or opera, how a fiddle is made, or how a small engine gets a big plane off the ground. I’m curious about how a heart pumps, how an acorn becomes a tree, what happens to the mind after the body dies. All these wonderings stem from a childlike curiosity.

By bringing curiosity back into your life, you renew your passion for living. To do this, you must first eliminate the need for certainty, predictable outcomes, and control over your environment. The need for control smothers curiosity, destroys spontaneity, and extinguishes vitality. Wouldn’t you like to go out and explore people, events, places, experiences? Don’t tame your curiosity. It allows you to explore and grow.

Look at life and be filled with all that is there. Don’t restrict yourself to a narrow range of living, with the same repetitive actions and motions each day. Look for the enchantment of discovery. Start a hero’s journey. Heroes engage in life. Each day, in their own quiet way, without grandstanding, they go out to push just a little further beyond their comfort zone. That is what strengthens them. I believe that every person is a hero. You don’t have to be engaged in an activity that would be the subject of a movie. But you are a hero when you take a journey to challenge that which seems insurmountable.

If you’re putting your energy in one direction and not finding fulfillment, then change perspectives. You may not know what’s right for you in certain areas of your life. Continue searching for what feels right—no matter how many efforts you have to make. Don’t stop because you’ve been conditioned to stop. If it isn’t right, then it doesn’t fit. It means that what you are doing doesn’t meet your real needs.

For instance, working at a hundred jobs and quitting each one is better than working in one place and being unhappy. I don’t consider that irresponsible. Likewise, I don’t see anything wrong with going out with a hundred people, or a thousand people, rather than settling for someone who isn’t suited to you. Let’s face it. With all the dysfunctional people who don’t share your energy, you have a right to continue your search.

ill-matic said:
SO many things. and ive done fuck all.
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Whatever you do is okay. Whatever you do, it’s enough. Pat yourself on the back. Be kind to yourself. You’re all right. Problems help you learn and grow. You must trust and believe in yourself. You must get excited by your dreams and capabilities. Every day I look at the projects that I want to do. Then I write them down. They don’t have to be done that day, but I want to keep my mind centered on my plans. I get excited by my ideas. I work on one idea at a time. I’m always examining my potential so I can make something happen.

Write down your ideas in order to keep your excitement level up. Put your ideas in front of you every day and just keep working on them. There is no one better than you to be your cheerleader and coach. (Except me, but I’m not there and can’t find my pom-poms anyway.)

And don’t welcome your old self back! The moment your old self starts to reappear—you start whining, complaining, moaning, feeling guilty, and feeling bad—stop and say, “Old self, you are not allowed in. Good-bye. Hello again, new self.” You‘ve got to keep bringing yourself back to where you want to be.

And dream the impossible. It doesn’t matter if you actually achieve your dreams. The important thing is the idea that you’re not afraid of them. You’re not scared of what is in your heart. The adventure is seeking the dream.
 
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