Abused Children

Shadows

Well-Known Member
Nov 11, 2003
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San Diego, CA
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This is not something that's talked about often and i hate to touch the subject, but i feel that, recently, a lot of females have been coming to me with problems.


After admitting their problems, i told them that i feel that there is more to their story and they just cry and tell me that they were abused as children and never got any help. They were afraid or not until they told me did they realize that what they went through then, is actually affecting them now.

I'm not sure if it's indenial or NOT being well educated on the subject.

I'm not saying that a hip hop site will save the world, but i'm providing a link i found from google with scary statistics, and i urge you guys to bring it to people's attention and possibly seek help or help others seek help through counseling.

About 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.

Abused children are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy.

About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.

More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way

http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics (based on 2010 statistics, from what i can see).


The last statistic is what i think is most important. It's about juveniles. When you see a girl with really bad problems in Juvy, and lets say there is about 100, and the statistics are 90%, that's 90 women that were abused.

If those abused (90%) are experiencing teen pregnancy at a more likely rate of 25%, and 30% are likely to do it to their own children, if you do the math, that's horrible. It's like children abusing children, constantly, if those children even survive.

(Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4).

Spread the info out.
 
I worry about this, having a daughter. I don't consciously think about it too often, but the specter is always in the background I guess. My daughter's mother is all, hey let's put her in day care, let's send her to school early, let's do all these things! My attitude is, why put her around an adult she doesn't absolutely need to be around? Of course that's unhealthy thinking, but I just want to decrease the odds of something inappropriate happening wherever I can. Plus I, like, I dunno, genuinely like being around her? And don't want to send her anywhere? I dunno, I'm a weirdo apparently.
 
^^

Nah, man. You are a parent that reads the news. I feel the same.

The reasonable part of me thinks that generally most people are inherently good. But the irrational part of me thinks a paedo could be around any corner. I also prefer to be safe rather than sorry.
 
I'm somewhat of an alarmist when it comes to kids lol -_- I probably need to find someone really laid back to balance the fact that I'm going to helicopter the shit out of my kids.
 
I finally had someone come out and tell me about being molested as a child. She's 27 and goes to school with me, and that was the first person I ever consider a friend that turned out to be abused as a child. First time was by her uncle at age 9 and the second was by her cousin, son of the uncle, at 15.

She has a lot of issues, seemingly bipolar. She goes into short episodes of mania which start up as her seeming outgoing and upbeat, but she keeps on going until she finally crashes and then hits her depressing "I'm old, not married, still in school" tirade. I guess knowing her history helps me not just run away from her. I say this because she's admitted to doing some real fucked up shit to other people, stuff that even makes me shudder. And I feel I have a very shitty conscience to begin with.

On one hand, she's incredibly organized, disciplined, etc. She's one of the better students in our class. But on the other hand, when she's put in social situations, especially with males, she turns into something else. An emotionally attached, dependent, gold-digger. You go from feeling bad for her to feeling bad for the next guy she leads on for emotional support.
 
1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are sexually abused by the time they reach age 18.

There are many types of abuse including emotional, physical, and sexual, and most often kids who experience one will experience at least 2 of the 3. I grew up in poverty in an alcoholic, drug filled and abusive home and had the misfortune of experiencing 3 of the 3 as a 3 year old. I learned to take care of myself at a young age and made it out, my brother though wasn't so lucky.

When it happens, it halts the development process and changes a person forever, but gets suppressed and becomes a part of the person who tries to deny it. The denial manifests itself in various problems throughout life and forces itself to be recognized and dealt with or continue to be an escalating problem. It's a difficult process because the person becomes split into who they were, and who they are as a result, and the person they were or would have been can sometimes be so long ago that it is difficult to reconnect and that original self can be lost forever. People who are abused multiple times can sometimes form split personalities as they compartmentalize to deal with it. People who form relationships with people who were abused can sometimes have difficulty because in the same person they see the original self and the new self and have trouble distinguishing the two.

The thing to remember when wanting to protect your kids, is that there aren't a lot of offenders/abusers, but the ones that exist are very skilled.
  • Male offenders who abuse girls have an average of 52 victims each before being caught for one.
  • Men who molest boys have an average of 150 victims each before being caught for one.
  • In 85% of sexual abuse situations children and teens are sexually abused by someone they know and trust.
If you recognize the "grooming" process and the characteristics of sexual abusers, both male and female, they are actually not that difficult to spot. They will always have a job that involves children or around children, be overly good with kids, make kids feel special and act like a kid with them. They are then experts at recognizing the kids that have an emotional void and sadness not met by their parents, and begin to fill that void while befriending the parent to build trust. Over a period of weeks, or months, the child becomes dependent on that emotional void being filled and the offender threatens to take it away if their sexual needs aren't met.

Don't trust anyone who wants to be friends with your child.

It's a fucked up world we live in.
 
I only remember two posts Jon ever wrote. Actually, three, but not for a good reason (he said something positive about Mac Miller). The first one was saying something about how all women in porn have low self-esteem and daddy issues and then this one.
 
I only remember two posts Jon ever wrote. Actually, three, but not for a good reason (he said something positive about Mac Miller). The first one was saying something about how all women in porn have low self-esteem and daddy issues and then this one.


I also remember the Porn one....!
 
I have literally never had anyone tell me they were abused. And I grew up in one of the shittest places in the UK.
Me either. I tend to be an intense person who demands nothing but people's best so I'm probably not too easy to talk to.
 
Here's a mentally abused child:


god-hates.jpg
 

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