Okay so I've got a lot of shit on my mind lately, and instead of talking it out with people I know, or going to therapy, or doing anything that a normal fucking person would do, I am going to talk about it to strangers on the internet. For some reason, that is more comfortable.
I don't know how to describe how I feel lately. I am mad a lot, I am depressed even more often than that, and I am apathetic towards EVERYTHING lately. If a million elderly women die in a tragic accident while doing good deeds for the needy, I wouldn't give a fuck. Honestly.
Drinking is becoming more and more of a pillow. Three days in a row now, which may not sound like a lot to most people, but I have been HAMMERED for three days. And not days I'm off work. I never drink two days in a row, but I am on a streak now.
Honestly I think it stems from the break-up I just went through. Idk why, but I want her back so bad. It's so fucked up. Seeing her makes it easier to get over her for some reason, it's weird. I think about her, and I just think damn, I want her back. She did me hella wrong, and I think that has something to do with me wanting her back. Unresolved shit. I still have feelings for her, unlike every other girl I've ever fallen out with.
And I'm always into it with my mom. Parents are divorced, so I never talk to my dad, which doesn't bother me. I put up the walls between him and myself. Idk why my mom and I always argue, but it's constant. I don't trust anyone anymore... My best friends, from Kindergarten, I won't tell them shit I used to tell them because I can't trust them.
I'm always wanting to fight someone now, also. And I am not a fighter, I think it's ridiculous to fight after high school. But here I am, drinking, longing to fight, depressed bigger than fuck, and paranoid at the world. I'm not sure about the reasoning of making this thread, but it made sense at the time. Anyone ever feel similar? Like, fuck the world and everyone in it.
I don't know how to describe how I feel lately. I am mad a lot, I am depressed even more often than that, and I am apathetic towards EVERYTHING lately. If a million elderly women die in a tragic accident while doing good deeds for the needy, I wouldn't give a fuck. Honestly.
Drinking is becoming more and more of a pillow. Three days in a row now, which may not sound like a lot to most people, but I have been HAMMERED for three days. And not days I'm off work. I never drink two days in a row, but I am on a streak now.
Honestly I think it stems from the break-up I just went through. Idk why, but I want her back so bad. It's so fucked up. Seeing her makes it easier to get over her for some reason, it's weird. I think about her, and I just think damn, I want her back. She did me hella wrong, and I think that has something to do with me wanting her back. Unresolved shit. I still have feelings for her, unlike every other girl I've ever fallen out with.
And I'm always into it with my mom. Parents are divorced, so I never talk to my dad, which doesn't bother me. I put up the walls between him and myself. Idk why my mom and I always argue, but it's constant. I don't trust anyone anymore... My best friends, from Kindergarten, I won't tell them shit I used to tell them because I can't trust them.
I'm always wanting to fight someone now, also. And I am not a fighter, I think it's ridiculous to fight after high school. But here I am, drinking, longing to fight, depressed bigger than fuck, and paranoid at the world. I'm not sure about the reasoning of making this thread, but it made sense at the time. Anyone ever feel similar? Like, fuck the world and everyone in it.