I hate it when I write a long ass essay - and that's what I've just been doing for past 40 minutes and it got deleted
It's so irritating.
So in short what I wanted to say was:
my martial arts fascination doesn't have much to do with it.
Of course it adds few factors here and there but I think not much, it just helps me to be a better person.
I believe in some higher being or person who sees my every move, what I do good and what I do bad and whenever I do something bad, bad things tend to happen to me while when I'm good I usually get better things in life - much better. You can also call it Karma I guess but I believe that it's coordinated by some higher being.
I also believe in justice - I really do. That's because most jerks I ever knew ended like they deserved while really good people got good things in the end.
A stupid but real example is at school - people who are plain bad, with bad characters who don't study much usually don't go to college and have a wack job. People who are getting beat up at schools and forgiving it without fighting back, all those helpful, kind type of nerds usually make it best and in the end they're working on high positions in big companies,
have nice wifes and quite lucky life. Of course it also depends on their later actions but they get a base to start off. You can be good but when you get most things in life you can change and become bad, most examples tell that your life crashes then.
About your response about your faith - I'm sure whatever you or I do now affects what will you do in the future - it's a fact.
You can do nothing just find a monotony and work, party, sleep etc, you can move to a totally random country where your life will be totally different or you can just do something random what you might enjoy and it'll be your new sense in life. Also whether you will be good or bad will totally influence it. Better people usually have the gift of enjoying life more as it is. Some time ago I wasn't that good - I was below the middle. At some part like 3 years ago I got few chances, I even used them but still I couldn't enjoy my life getting totally better. Even about year ago I made a thread about how I can't enjoy my life, how I search for happiness and a place for me. I got few responses including Jokerman's mini essay to strive to be a better person, to wake up everyday with a smile and just think about your gift. Before that I had that thought that it might help but I was too weak to try.
By some coincidences without much effort actually I did it.
Now I think I'm a better person - I dismiss any opportunity to do something bad while I take most chances to help others, to do something good to myself, my closest ones and just random people I find kind and good-hearted.
It's just a little something that makes you feel a little better but in the end it teaches you to enjoy your life and see what a true joy is. You can't feel happiness untill you strive to be better and do better things. You can party whole life, fuck nicest women but you won't be as happy as a higher valued person who does good in life.
That's why I believe in something higher.
I haven't found a place for me in life yet but I know where to search and I can enjoy each stop on my road to be a better human being.
funny thing is that last year I thought that there were 3 things I knew I did bad but I had no intention to quit them - that is smoking, smoking and drinking
I was smoking cigarettes for 7-8 years. Since 4 years I smoked at least pack a day. I visited many parties and drinked a lot. I also smoked more serious stuff regularry.
Now about 8 months ago I just gave it all up without any serious effort.
There was just that something that changed my life.
I've got many friends who can't give up smoking after 3-4 years of doing it,
I did it since I was actually a kid and I gave it up without any effort so that's not a case of having a strong will.
Also I'm not sure how the universe started, I watched a lot on that matter on Discovery channel and nobody can truely answer and I guess that the answer is something totally unexpected but anyway I couldn't put my faith in it.
I can't put my faith in something that won't affect my life anyway, as you said whatever you will do, the universe will be the same and it won't affect you in a certain way.
It just let's you live.