Arranged Marriages

[Bina]

Like been said before, there's a difference between forced marriages (the cple dont meet beforehands, or dont want to marry and are forced) and arranged (usually parents inroduce u to potential guys and u agree to be with someone).

U rparents are not gona hook u up to a loser- they want u to be happy in life, and have the best things. With arranges marriages, ur parents introduce u to decent guys and its up to u to make the final decision.

Isn't it a fact that more love marriages will end in divorce than arranged marriages? So does this mean that the notion of love is more of a delusion- people want it, but its not really there?

 

[Amara]

If you were to think of it people, our divorce cases are more than ten times less than that of the west (proportianally).

Isn't it a fact that more love marriages will end in divorce than arranged marriages? So does this mean that the notion of love is more of a delusion- people want it, but its not really there?

That is a simplistic analysis of the situation. You have consider the availability of divorce, is it socially acceptable. We have high divorce rates because it is tolerated (for better or worse) - there less of a social stigma attached to it, therefore it is a more viable option. Perhaps elsewhere, there are greater incentives to stay within a marriage, particularly for women, to preserve social standing and avoid unnecessary oppression. It is not related to the method by which marriage came about, but rather is a reflection of the options available after the fact.

I was discussing this with a friend and like they said - the reason most people divorce is they fall out of love. If you have no love to begin with, there is no love to lose. The emotional situation is empty from beginning to end. You have no feelings to lose because little have been gained. So it would seem people here divorce in order to escape the situation others would find tolerable.

I would much rather adhere to a notion of love in attempts to find emotional fulfillment, one which I know exists having regard to those around me, than submit to mere contentment. The soul can't be satisfied by a "business type" relationship, as it was earlier referred to. True and lasting love does exist, every day I see proof. Knowing the prolonged joy and fulfillment love can bring makes anything less seem wholly disatisfying.

 

[Sebastian]

no ,I said Islam helped in the process of me becoming 'attatched' to her. it wasn't the sole reason. YOur acting as if i'm a robot with no feelings whatsoever apart from following the shariah law. it is not like that. ok, and from many friends of mine who don't get arranged marriages, they themselves say that "marriage is all about being each otheres best friend". yes she is my best friend :thumb: . that's is what marriage is about.

tell me, what is a marriage supposed to be about?

no, one difference: u dont have to be attracted to your best friend.

your partner = friend, lover,...everything


anyway, why do parents have to recommend u someone? if its really your free choice to marry this person or not, its useless..if u want to have a girlfriend/boyfriend then "search" for yourself...there is no one else who knows better what type of person u want to have by your side!

 

[Illuminattile]

That is a simplistic analysis of the situation. You have consider the availability of divorce, is it socially acceptable. We have high divorce rates because it is tolerated (for better or worse) - there less of a social stigma attached to it, therefore it is a more viable option. Perhaps elsewhere, there are greater incentives to stay within a marriage, particularly for women, to preserve social standing and avoid unnecessary oppression. It is not related to the method by which marriage came about, but rather is a reflection of the options available after the fact.

I was discussing this with a friend and like they said - the reason most people divorce is they fall out of love. If you have no love to begin with, there is no love to lose. The emotional situation is empty from beginning to end. You have no feelings to lose because little have been gained. So it would seem people here divorce in order to escape the situation others would find tolerable.

I would much rather adhere to a notion of love in attempts to find emotional fulfillment, one which I know exists having regard to those around me, than submit to mere contentment. The soul can't be satisfied by a "business type" relationship, as it was earlier referred to. True and lasting love does exist, every day I see proof. Knowing the prolonged joy and fulfillment love can bring makes anything less seem wholly disatisfying.

Exactly. You can't compare divorce rates between two cultures in which divorce is viewed very differently.

I also don't see divorce as an inherently negative thing. Yes, it can be a tumultuous time for those involved, especially if the relationship bore children, but in the long-run is it not better to separate and, hopefully, go on to find happiness than to stay together in an unhappy relationship?

 

[devils_advok8]

That is a simplistic analysis of the situation. You have consider the availability of divorce, is it socially acceptable. We have high divorce rates because it is tolerated (for better or worse) - there less of a social stigma attached to it, therefore it is a more viable option. Perhaps elsewhere, there are greater incentives to stay within a marriage, particularly for women, to preserve social standing and avoid unnecessary oppression. It is not related to the method by which marriage came about, but rather is a reflection of the options available after the fact.

I was discussing this with a friend and like they said - the reason most people divorce is they fall out of love. If you have no love to begin with, there is no love to lose. The emotional situation is empty from beginning to end. You have no feelings to lose because little have been gained. So it would seem people here divorce in order to escape the situation others would find tolerable.

I would much rather adhere to a notion of love in attempts to find emotional fulfillment, one which I know exists having regard to those around me, than submit to mere contentment. The soul can't be satisfied by a "business type" relationship, as it was earlier referred to. True and lasting love does exist, every day I see proof. Knowing the prolonged joy and fulfillment love can bring makes anything less seem wholly disatisfying.

I dunno, Amara.I can tell you this, though:it's not just about love, there may be children involved.Personally, I don't care how people get married, wether arranged marriages, muslim-style, western style, as long as they dont get divorced and tear the whole family apart.

 

[Amara]

^ I couldn't agree more.

 

[Default MX]

I'd have to disagree with arranged merriages. For the same reasons most people do too


by the way .. Nuke Europe.

 

[one mc on dj]

Well whatever...I just feel sorry for the girls...but sometimes I think they could just run away..lmao....

 

[xXHizzo.M40Xx]

so whats with the marrying of cousins... there is a guy on my block who my dad knows quite well... he went to pakistan and married his cousin a couple years back... im not trying to take te piss out of any religions, but what the fucks with that?

 

[one mc on dj]

so whats with the marrying of cousins... there is a guy on my block who my dad knows quite well... he went to pakistan and married his cousin a couple years back... im not trying to take te piss out of any religions, but what the fucks with that?

Who said it was a religious thing?

What if she was hot?

Which makes me think would you still hit it if ur cousin was hot?
If yes would you do it if she was ya sister?

Oh oh wrong topic...we are not talking bout incest...

 

[xXHizzo.M40Xx]

Who said it was a religious thing?

It was, my dad got invited to all the ceremonies and shit over her...

What if she was hot?

Which makes me think would you still hit it if ur cousin was hot?

I grew up in aproject house where i lived with all my family... and i mean all!!! I grew up with my cousin, and see em like brothers and sisters....

If yes would you do it if she was ya sister?

im not even gonna answer that... the thought makes me physically sick, shit i gotta go to the toilet for the 2nd round of projectile vomitting...

 

[not really ken]

so whats with the marrying of cousins... there is a guy on my block who my dad knows quite well... he went to pakistan and married his cousin a couple years back... im not trying to take te piss out of any religions, but what the fucks with that?

what's that got to do with arranged marriages.
also maybe some rednecks could answer your question.

 

[Ansari]

What are the benefits of or arguments for arranged marriages? Same-sex marriages are criticised for being "wrong", but surely marrying (or being made to marry) someone you don't necessarily love and whom you haven't chosen to be with is worse. It's very common in the India, Pakistan and Bangladesh where it occurs irrespective of religion (by Hindus, Christians, Buddhists and Muslims alike). I'm not religious and I'm not old-fashioned, but I don't see how a system which removes all notion of love and romance from marriage can exist seemingly with little objection. Does it not contradict almost all ideas of marriage, religious or otherwise?

Your opinions?

NB:
I like posting topics like this; that can result in intelligent discussion, but don't require too much previous knowledge. Topics everyone can have an opinion on.

“Arranged marriage” is a very broad concept. And it is perfectly possible that there can be love and romance between the couples.

 

[enalicious]

arranged marraiges are like a dating service... except ur rentz find a suitable match for u..
now.. ur rentz wudn't find u someone that isn't gud.. they gonna pick sumone wit a gud family, gud job.. etc..
arranged marraiges aren't really like forced marraiges anymore.. most of the time.. the people gettin married have a say.. it isn't like ur rentz pick sumone u have to marry no matter what.. although that does still happen.. it isn't that bad anymore..
theres no harm in askin ur rentz to look for a suitable match for u..