Scott Murray
Friday 17 April 2009
guardian.co.uk
MISS! MISS! HE DID A FUNNY FACE!!!
If you managed a football team, and they traipsed back into the dressing room after 90 minutes of futile toil during which they didn't get a single kick, losing 4-0, and you'd picked Christopher Samba up front as your lone striker, what would be your overriding emotion? Embarrassment, perhaps? Or the sort of total and utter humiliation that makes a man knock back a litre of Juniper Surprise, then book a Special Calming Treatment at the Eternal Spa? Hmm. But however hard the defeat would hit you, surely your tipping point would have nothing whatsoever to do with a slightly overweight gentleman standing in your approximate environs, crossing and uncrossing his arms. You would surely still retain at least one sliver of dignity and self-respect, a sliver which ensured you'd not be unduly affected by something as trivial as that? Right?
Sadly that's not the case with this poor petal: Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce has admitted today to being on the end of a "humiliating" gesture by Rafael Benitez at Anfield last weekend. When Fernando Torres scored Liverpool's second goal after 33 minutes, Benitez got up off the bench and gesticulated to his team. "It was open arms and then a crossover of the arms," explained Sensitive Sam, before going on to do the hitchhike, the watusi, and the mashed potato. "It was as if to suggest that was it," added Allardyce, who was so offended he voluntarily went to Benitez's office after the game to swill his booze.
But even free pop didn't please Sensitive Sam. Not only was Rafa's Rioja slightly below room temperature, triggering a slightly unpleasant tingle in his teeth, but the Liverpool manager also failed to turn up in person. "Not explaining himself by not turning up in his office really shows what he is like," said Allardyce, who is 54 years of age. "The only people I saw were Sammy Lee and a few of the staff, but he never showed his face. That was just as disappointing as the gesture, and it typifies the man."
In total agreement is Mr. Ferguson, who ahead of Manchester United's FA Cup final with Everton, piped up: "Everton are a big club, not a small one which Benitez arrogantly said. But arrogance is one thing. You cannot forgive contempt, which is what he showed Sam Allardyce last weekend." It's very honourable of Fergie to stick up loyally for his pal Sensitive Sam in this spat - although it does seem strange that he did it before Allardyce had actually said anything today. Almost as if they'd decided to launch a pincer movement on Benitez while chatting over the phone last night. Ferguson, incidentally, is 67.