Bring the Pope to Justice
- Thread starter Jokerman
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QUEEN TO HAVE LUNCH WITH INSANE CRIMINAL
THE Queen will today have soup and sandwiches at her Edinburgh home with an insane German criminal she met off a plane.
Joseph Ratzinger, originally from Munich but now living in Italy, wrote to the Queen last year asking if he could pop in on his way to meeting Susan Boyle in the middle of a park in Glasgow.
Her Majesty agreed to his request despite concerns over his involvement in covering up paedophilia and his quirky belief that being gay is worse than raping a child.
Experts have also stressed that Mr Ratzinger's claim that everything he says is infallible means that instead of swapping gently amusing anecdotes with the Queen and being driven about in a bullet-proof ice cream van, he should really be in a secure, windowless room and injected every half hour with a thunderous dose of temazepam.
Criminal psychologist, Dr Julian Cook, said: "Britain's mental hospitals are full of people like this. Old, confused, fascist perverts who think Jesus has set up camp in their sock drawer.
"If we have any compassion we will try to trap Mr Ratzinger using a large net, or perhaps a hole covered in twigs and leaves, and then give him the 24-hour care he so desperately needs."
Tom Logan, visiting professor of visits at Reading University, said: "The Queen has met some splendidly nasty fruitcakes in recent years. I'm thinking particularly of that rotund Saudi gentleman who thinks women are pack animals and that you should chop someone's hands off if they steal a packet of Toffos.
"But at least that was underpinned by a lovely big arms deal. If only Mr Ratzinger would order a couple of dozen Eurofighters and a class 2 destroyer we could coat this whole mucky business with a nice, hard-headed rationale."
But Mr Ratzinger's arrival was overshadowed last night after one of his best friends described Britain as both a 'third world country' and a society with a frighteningly high number of people who can read and think.
Logan added: "When I heard the phrase 'third world', I didn't think he was being racist or particularly offensive, I just assumed he must have driven on a British motorway.
"So yes, in that sense Britain is like a third world country, the key difference being that thousands of people aren't dying of AIDS every day because some mad old fucker in a pointy hat told them that johnny bags are made by Lucifer."
The Daily Mash - QUEEN TO HAVE LUNCH WITH INSANE CRIMINAL
THE Queen will today have soup and sandwiches at her Edinburgh home with an insane German criminal she met off a plane.
Joseph Ratzinger, originally from Munich but now living in Italy, wrote to the Queen last year asking if he could pop in on his way to meeting Susan Boyle in the middle of a park in Glasgow.
Her Majesty agreed to his request despite concerns over his involvement in covering up paedophilia and his quirky belief that being gay is worse than raping a child.
Experts have also stressed that Mr Ratzinger's claim that everything he says is infallible means that instead of swapping gently amusing anecdotes with the Queen and being driven about in a bullet-proof ice cream van, he should really be in a secure, windowless room and injected every half hour with a thunderous dose of temazepam.
Criminal psychologist, Dr Julian Cook, said: "Britain's mental hospitals are full of people like this. Old, confused, fascist perverts who think Jesus has set up camp in their sock drawer.
"If we have any compassion we will try to trap Mr Ratzinger using a large net, or perhaps a hole covered in twigs and leaves, and then give him the 24-hour care he so desperately needs."
Tom Logan, visiting professor of visits at Reading University, said: "The Queen has met some splendidly nasty fruitcakes in recent years. I'm thinking particularly of that rotund Saudi gentleman who thinks women are pack animals and that you should chop someone's hands off if they steal a packet of Toffos.
"But at least that was underpinned by a lovely big arms deal. If only Mr Ratzinger would order a couple of dozen Eurofighters and a class 2 destroyer we could coat this whole mucky business with a nice, hard-headed rationale."
But Mr Ratzinger's arrival was overshadowed last night after one of his best friends described Britain as both a 'third world country' and a society with a frighteningly high number of people who can read and think.
Logan added: "When I heard the phrase 'third world', I didn't think he was being racist or particularly offensive, I just assumed he must have driven on a British motorway.
"So yes, in that sense Britain is like a third world country, the key difference being that thousands of people aren't dying of AIDS every day because some mad old fucker in a pointy hat told them that johnny bags are made by Lucifer."
The Daily Mash - QUEEN TO HAVE LUNCH WITH INSANE CRIMINAL
Not only taht, but she has to wear Black.... If she was a Catholic Queen she could wear white. I'm guessing she must be soiled...
I would wear a T-Shirt with the pope on it smoking a joint. I would very much not like being told what to wear.
But... All this anti-pope shit annoys me as much as the pope groupies.... That Atheist prick - Richard Dawkins is as annoying, if not more than, those that preach religion.
I would wear a T-Shirt with the pope on it smoking a joint. I would very much not like being told what to wear.
But... All this anti-pope shit annoys me as much as the pope groupies.... That Atheist prick - Richard Dawkins is as annoying, if not more than, those that preach religion.
The difference is that people like Dawkins have a very solid point in criticizing the Catholic Church for the cover-up of child abuse and the blatant lies about condoms in Africa and the consequent helping of the proliferation of AIDS.
The Catholic Church is a big, throbbing cancerous tumor that is holding back humanity. It's ruled over by old, white men who are stuck in medieval times. It has no relevance, no meaning and absolutely nothing to add in today's society. Not only don't they have anything to add, but they are actively taking away from humanity.
They must be stopped sooner rather than later. And if that means hearing Dawkins spout some more profanities about old Germans and pointy hats, then so be it. It's a sacrifice any well-thinking human should be glad to make.
Yeah, where did Dawkins ever NOT make sense when he's talking about organized religion?
I haven't seen it yet. I'm not hailing him as an atheistic champion either, it's not that hard to make sense when criticizing religion.
I haven't seen it yet. I'm not hailing him as an atheistic champion either, it's not that hard to make sense when criticizing religion.
It's not that he doesn't make sense. It's that he is preaching and talking nonsense. I am an atheist, also... I just don't agree with what he says. He says there's no place in modern society for religion. I say, bullshit.
I just don't think atheism will ever win the day with people like Dawkins making the case. He's a supercilious jerk. He has suggested that atheists refer to themselves as "brights", which made even Christopher Hitchens scoff.
As a non-believer, I would prefer the case be made forcefully but politely. We have to be happy warriors. I don't like it when atheists make it seem as though there is only one way to view the world. When we do that we're accepting the fundamentalism we reject in religion.
As a non-believer, I would prefer the case be made forcefully but politely. We have to be happy warriors. I don't like it when atheists make it seem as though there is only one way to view the world. When we do that we're accepting the fundamentalism we reject in religion.
Its because you dont seem to understand a lot of things.
First of all, Dawkins is not preaching, hes bringing certain questions and problems to peoples attention by writing and talking about it.
Second, you claim Dawkins is talking nonsense. Well, you writing its "bullshit" doesnt really add more value to your remarkably astonishing accusation.
Fine, you can say you disagree with him. That doesnt prove in any way that he is infact the one talking nonsense.
First of all, Dawkins is not preaching, hes bringing certain questions and problems to peoples attention by writing and talking about it.
Second, you claim Dawkins is talking nonsense. Well, you writing its "bullshit" doesnt really add more value to your remarkably astonishing accusation.
Fine, you can say you disagree with him. That doesnt prove in any way that he is infact the one talking nonsense.
Not only are you a fucking faggot. But you are a condescending prick...!
If you're so much more intelligent than me I'd like to compare bank balances.... Prick.
The problem with a lot of people on here is that they think they are superior to everyone. That their opinions are the correct opinion.. Fuck OFF!
There is a place for religion in modern society. And there's no need to mock others if believing in god an religion helps them get through the day. But I wouldn't expect a spoilt little fag with a side parting to understand that.
I thought I was an opinionated wanker, until I read some of the shit on here.
Honestly, if I ever ran into you in real life I would smack you in the mouth. No joke.
O-K :worried:
But I know what you mean. You mean he's clear and you understand his arguments, you just think they are wrong.
He's not saying there's no place for religion in modern society, he's saying there shouldn't be a place for it. Obviously, some people seem to need it. But why as an atheist do you think there should? It sounds like you still like some parts of it.
But I know what you mean. You mean he's clear and you understand his arguments, you just think they are wrong.
He's not saying there's no place for religion in modern society, he's saying there shouldn't be a place for it. Obviously, some people seem to need it. But why as an atheist do you think there should? It sounds like you still like some parts of it.
I don't think he's wrong. I agree with the points he makes. I just don't agree with how he makes them. I don't agree with Guerilla tactics. And I don't agree with extremism.
It's not that I like religion or parts of it... I believe that if it gives a terminally ill cancer patient comfort, or parents of a dead child hope. Then it surely has a place in society. If someone chooses to use the bible as a guide for their lives, and lives a kind, caring and giving life surely we can overlook the fact they are believing in fiction?
One of my biggest arguments against religion is that those involved always feel it necessary to preach the "words of god"... With idiots like Dawkins I have to agree that he is forcing his "religion" on others...
I think Dawkins is as bad as the crazy preacher who shouts at you in the middle of the street on a soap box.
I can understand why Dawkins can come across as pushy to some people. But then again, the things that Dawkins is really vocal about are things that matter. The utter corruption of the Catholic Church, creationists, people like that.
And honestly, those backward fuckjobs deserved to be verbally smacked in the face with all we've got.
And honestly, those backward fuckjobs deserved to be verbally smacked in the face with all we've got.
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