i don't know what kind of discussion this would spark, but i guess there are things people could comment on. don't be afraid to hurt me. i guess this thread is a little bit about my own self-growth and a little bit about telling a story that pissed me off very much.
I was out tonight getting drunk. We started at a friend's house and we were all having a great time. I got to talk with some people who I haven't talked to in a while and they were good talks as well. First place we go to when we hit the town, we split up. Some of the guys go in, some move on to the next spot, I end up standing outside smoking a cigarette. A lot of people came and went that I haven't seen in a while since it's Christmas time and everybody's home, so I ended up standing there for about half an hour. Suddenly I see a girl who was in my class three years ago. She was with some dude. I go over and it turns out he was just bumming a cigarette off of her. He was probably in his mid 30s, short guy, wore some sort of cap/hat and generally he looked lower class. I was thinking an ex-MC dude or an ex-dopefiend.
Me and the girl started talking about my plans and I told her, eventually I'll move off to study. My parents are gonna back me financially so she asked me how I was paying and I told her my parents were paying and we laughed it off, then I told her the real deal. How eventually I'll have to pay the money to someone, but I'll be secure at least. But the dude who got a cigarette off of her overheard me and seemed to have some thoughts about what I said. I don't remember if he just started talking, if he came over or if we got eye contact and something escalated from there, but he started asking me all kinds of questions. Putting me through the flame. What do you think about the person you are? Well, I know I'm a piece of shit, I don't try to hide it, and whatever consequences I have to face due to my actions, I won't stand there like it wasn't me or like I had nothing to do with it. I'm a nice guy who treats people with respect. He kept on asking shit like, well, what do you do about that? it came to the point where he started asking questions i didn't really have the answer to. I mean, I do have parents who have helped me, I got pillows under my arms but it's not like I was given a choice at birth. The dude started sort of laughing me off, shaking his head, etc. At first, he didn't like my type of people. After some talking it turns out he fucking hates "people like you". Whatever that meant. I said "well, I'm sorry about that, I can't help that fact". Then he started gently pulling my ears going "hmm, should i put it here... or here?" then he gently pushed my nose in an upwards motion going "or should i plant it right up your nose?" - then smiled at me.
I've been a drug user right, so I can spot things others can't. I could spot something with this dude for sure. He had a friend with him too, which made me rly uneasy because they both looked like crooked motherfuckers really. Funnily enough, later on his friend was the one who got him to leave with him, but for a minute there I gave a couple of friends the "it's on" look and made sure the watched so I didn't end up in a blood puddle. I mean he was short but all it takes is one lucky punch and I'm no fighting champ.
So I don't know what to discuss. One thing is that this guy represented a strong stereotype - the old bastard who hates youth. At one point he made a demeaning remark to me saying something about "yeah because nobody understaaands your problems, right?" and shit like that. I could tell he hated youth in general. Maybe he never had a good relationship with his parents. He's pissed with someone or something that's for sure. But I never thought a grown-up would go to the measures of just picking a random twentyone-year-old and just picking a fight for fuck's sake or because he really does hate people like me. "People like me" represents a lot of people actually. And the things he seemed to hate about me are things I know are common for our generation. And they are things that are generally misunderstood. But whether I nodded or shook my head to what he said, he still kept building up. So was he just picking a fight off of whatever he could? Because if so, he went to extreme measures. He could have just told me I have an ugly face and pushed me. Anyone had similar encounters? I think it's frightening. I'm starting to think in a decade or so it's revolution time. I'm sick and tired of old geezers who generalize us because we are younger, less experienced, and live in a different world (and thus become different). It pisses me off. I'm scared I might become one - that I start damning "his kind" to the point where I'll pick a fight with "people like him" just because I fucking hate them. I'm getting close to being there buddies. And we're both hating each other and the real cause is that we're not BOTH willing to look at the other person's perspective and think that "hey, maybe things ARE a little bit different for him/her". I'm a little high so let's go a little far out there, get a little ambitious. This i think is reflected in the continuous squabbles between the middle east and the west I think. Hey, far as i know we're willing to have you and you can build your mosques and do your rituals and have your own special red calendar days, we just don't like it when a bunch of you are running on the loose with unregistered guns. We want you to put the guns down, stop the extremist worshiping, look at OUR perspective and maybe loosen your ways a liiiiittle bit. We both give a little, we both get a little, but we co-exist peacefully. Why did that motherfucker have to cross the line and ruin my thus-far-so-good evening. I'm still shaking fists when I see pictures of people I think could be like him on the monitor. Fucker.
I was out tonight getting drunk. We started at a friend's house and we were all having a great time. I got to talk with some people who I haven't talked to in a while and they were good talks as well. First place we go to when we hit the town, we split up. Some of the guys go in, some move on to the next spot, I end up standing outside smoking a cigarette. A lot of people came and went that I haven't seen in a while since it's Christmas time and everybody's home, so I ended up standing there for about half an hour. Suddenly I see a girl who was in my class three years ago. She was with some dude. I go over and it turns out he was just bumming a cigarette off of her. He was probably in his mid 30s, short guy, wore some sort of cap/hat and generally he looked lower class. I was thinking an ex-MC dude or an ex-dopefiend.
Me and the girl started talking about my plans and I told her, eventually I'll move off to study. My parents are gonna back me financially so she asked me how I was paying and I told her my parents were paying and we laughed it off, then I told her the real deal. How eventually I'll have to pay the money to someone, but I'll be secure at least. But the dude who got a cigarette off of her overheard me and seemed to have some thoughts about what I said. I don't remember if he just started talking, if he came over or if we got eye contact and something escalated from there, but he started asking me all kinds of questions. Putting me through the flame. What do you think about the person you are? Well, I know I'm a piece of shit, I don't try to hide it, and whatever consequences I have to face due to my actions, I won't stand there like it wasn't me or like I had nothing to do with it. I'm a nice guy who treats people with respect. He kept on asking shit like, well, what do you do about that? it came to the point where he started asking questions i didn't really have the answer to. I mean, I do have parents who have helped me, I got pillows under my arms but it's not like I was given a choice at birth. The dude started sort of laughing me off, shaking his head, etc. At first, he didn't like my type of people. After some talking it turns out he fucking hates "people like you". Whatever that meant. I said "well, I'm sorry about that, I can't help that fact". Then he started gently pulling my ears going "hmm, should i put it here... or here?" then he gently pushed my nose in an upwards motion going "or should i plant it right up your nose?" - then smiled at me.
I've been a drug user right, so I can spot things others can't. I could spot something with this dude for sure. He had a friend with him too, which made me rly uneasy because they both looked like crooked motherfuckers really. Funnily enough, later on his friend was the one who got him to leave with him, but for a minute there I gave a couple of friends the "it's on" look and made sure the watched so I didn't end up in a blood puddle. I mean he was short but all it takes is one lucky punch and I'm no fighting champ.
So I don't know what to discuss. One thing is that this guy represented a strong stereotype - the old bastard who hates youth. At one point he made a demeaning remark to me saying something about "yeah because nobody understaaands your problems, right?" and shit like that. I could tell he hated youth in general. Maybe he never had a good relationship with his parents. He's pissed with someone or something that's for sure. But I never thought a grown-up would go to the measures of just picking a random twentyone-year-old and just picking a fight for fuck's sake or because he really does hate people like me. "People like me" represents a lot of people actually. And the things he seemed to hate about me are things I know are common for our generation. And they are things that are generally misunderstood. But whether I nodded or shook my head to what he said, he still kept building up. So was he just picking a fight off of whatever he could? Because if so, he went to extreme measures. He could have just told me I have an ugly face and pushed me. Anyone had similar encounters? I think it's frightening. I'm starting to think in a decade or so it's revolution time. I'm sick and tired of old geezers who generalize us because we are younger, less experienced, and live in a different world (and thus become different). It pisses me off. I'm scared I might become one - that I start damning "his kind" to the point where I'll pick a fight with "people like him" just because I fucking hate them. I'm getting close to being there buddies. And we're both hating each other and the real cause is that we're not BOTH willing to look at the other person's perspective and think that "hey, maybe things ARE a little bit different for him/her". I'm a little high so let's go a little far out there, get a little ambitious. This i think is reflected in the continuous squabbles between the middle east and the west I think. Hey, far as i know we're willing to have you and you can build your mosques and do your rituals and have your own special red calendar days, we just don't like it when a bunch of you are running on the loose with unregistered guns. We want you to put the guns down, stop the extremist worshiping, look at OUR perspective and maybe loosen your ways a liiiiittle bit. We both give a little, we both get a little, but we co-exist peacefully. Why did that motherfucker have to cross the line and ruin my thus-far-so-good evening. I'm still shaking fists when I see pictures of people I think could be like him on the monitor. Fucker.
